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  1. #1
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    Default What type does this sound like? (very annoying person)

    Of course there are annoying people of all types but there is one person in my life that annoys the crap out of me. Subs thread about his sister got me thinking about her and today I had an incident that I'm still thinking about.

    *she's the assistant pastor/youth pastor at my church
    *seems concrete and not nearly as philosophical as most pastors
    *can't tell if she's E or I, but I suspect I
    *GREAT public speaker (her best trait)
    *very personally conservative, makes the kids address her in a much more formal way than any other pastor or staff at church
    *MICROMANAGES everyone, and everything
    *is organizing a trip for the youth next month where they can't bring anything for the 3 hour car drive because she has divided them into 'special' groups and they are going to play TWO 'getting-to-know-you' games on the way. No cards, no ipods, no books - these kids already know each other and will think this is lame. The kids are 12-14.
    *my teens dislike her because she tells them what to do, treats them like babies and insists they come to youth group even in a snow storm becuase she's keeping attendance.
    *even though my church is fairly liberal she gave a kid "Hell Points" (exactly what that is I don't know) because one of them said "oh my G_d" in response to something.
    *I served on a committee with her recently where we had to figure out a way to spend a grant that the church had been given over the next 5 years in terms of Christian Education. She actually wanted us to plan out Year 1 we spend it on ...., Year 2 we spend it on ....I thought she was nuts and so did most other people. I suggested that the plans for CE be reviewed each year and plans be made year to year. Everyone else agreed so I got my way!She was very disturbed by this and said something like 'how can we trust whoever is going to be making decisions 3 years from now.'
    *isn't overly warm, but strangly enough describes herself as cute and perky.
    * in some ways organized, but drops the ball sometimes when she's "too busy"
    * selfish - started a meeting today 15 minutes early because most people were already there and the weather was getting bad. Then didn't have time to stay later and explain to me, what I had missed when I came on time.
    * is only 24 and it trying WAY too hard to act mature and demand respect

    Is this a strong J that is bothering me? How do I know if it's T or F. I tried looking at types to see who'se the worst for micromanaging but didn't find anything. ISFJ? ISTJ?

    One big reason that I'm curious about her is that I get really worked up about another person JUST LIKE HER (my son's music teacher) and can barely deal with her either (my son is in an advanced music program so I have a lot of dealings with her). So between the two of them - I think it would help me to learn how to work with them rather than just sit around feeling annoyed after my dealings with them.

  2. #2
    filling some space UnitOfPopulation's Avatar
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    Wow. Thanks for colorful description! I do enjoy typing, too

    I'd guess ESTJ. My idea of strong Te is a kind of "physical computation", or "thinking by doing".

    A strong Ti considers (in their head) what would happen under different conditions and interpretations.

    Te throws their half-finished ideas in the world and see how it works out. They know that being strong enough others will be forced to adapt to them and there will be some sort of a result.

    I'm seeing her do the latter in an immature way.

    She's also more obviously strong Si than Ni.

    Micromanaging and being a skilled orator strongly suggest E, when put together.

    So, ESTJ.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    ESFJ

    IMO, Here's why:

    *even though my church is fairly liberal she gave a kid "Hell Points" (exactly what that is I don't know) because one of them said "oh my G_d" in response to something. - Very illogical actions as most children (age Dependant) often do not understand the significance of certain statements.

    *my teens dislike her because she tells them what to do, treats them like babies and insists they come to youth group even in a snow storm because she's keeping attendance. - Since apparently she is so personally vested in this institution any affront to it is an affront to her. Edit: Feelers tend to take things personally.

    *isn't overly warm, but strangely enough describes herself as cute and perky. - Generally Extroverts are far more concerned w/ external image than introverts.

    * is only 24 and it trying WAY too hard to act mature and demand respect - Good one, to me this cements the fact that she is a guardian as Rationals generally don't care about arbitrary authority, artisans are the type to "live and let live" and finally idealists would never force obedience as they are inclined to respect others as individuals.
    Last edited by JustDave; 02-17-2008 at 10:15 PM. Reason: Clarification

  4. #4
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    Is that her?

  5. #5
    Senior Member MerkW's Avatar
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    Do you have any anecdotes related to this persons introversion/extroversion and her thinking/feeling? Obviously a clear example of xSxJ, yet the rest is not entirely clear. Do you have any potentially useful information in regards to this? My guess so far is ESTJ, though.
    "The mathematician's patterns, like the painter's or the poet's must be beautiful; the ideas like the colours or the words, must fit together in a harmonious way. Beauty is the first test: there is no permanent place in the world for ugly mathematics..." - G.H. Hardy

    "Another roof, another proof." - Paul Erdős

    INTJ (I = 100, N = 100, T = 88, J = 43)
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  6. #6
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    Thanks everyone. I'm getting better at this since I thought SJ myself!

    Do you have any anecdotes related to this persons introversion/extroversion and her thinking/feeling?
    The E verus I - I can't think of any examples, I'm still not sure of this myself. I will say that she appears very middle-of-road or slightly more I. The reason for this is that she's got this 'quiet leader' style when she deals with people. In front of crowd she's a great public speaker but with people she seems more shy or reserved. She's also not particularly chatty in a small-talk kind of way. But let's say she knows that you are going through a tough time she has this annoying way of asking "how are you doing?" She will stare at you intently and kind of scrunch up her face while asking "how.......ARE....you...doing (eyes squinting, face turned to the side)? Seems really fake if you ask me. But I guess I only know her through the church and not in her private life so perhaps I'm only seeing her in this role?

    T versus F. Hmm..What is the Church Lady whose pic Sassafrass posted? She's just like her minus 30 years. A lot of the things I can think of that seem T-like are actually J characteristics and we've already established that. Could any of you give me an example 'what would she do if..?' sort of thing?

    Knowing that she's SJ migh be enough however. Don't get me wrong everyone - I have several good friends who are SJs who are great.

    Edit - I will add one more thing. Happened yesterday. The Christian Education director was on vacation and the Sunday School classes were supposed to start a new teaching curriculumn. There had been some kind of issue with this curriculmn arriving late and the CE director emailed the first weeks lessons to the associate pastor on friday afternoon and asked her to print it off and give to the teachers on Sunday. So twice a month I help out as the CE Assistant and yesterday we had no curriculumn because the pastor didn't print it off because she was 'visiting friends out of town.' She could have forwarded it to me and I could have printed it out or she could have asked the CE director on the phone to email it to me or any number of other people. But NO. Once again she's really rigid with HER own things but refuses to step out of the normal operating procedure and bend to anyone else. This is really the bottom line of my annoyance with her and my son's music teacher - rigid with how they deal with others, but won't bend an inch to help the overall situation. Both are notorious for changing things at the last minute and when it doesn't work for others, then they give you the guilt-trip/rigidity response. "well, the music class had to be rescheduled from today to tomorrw, and I KNOW you said you had a major family event tomorrow, but it really is mandatory that your son attend. You see we have a famous singer coming in tomorrow to teach the kids a new song, and if your son is not there then he won't know it as well as the others for next week's performance. And because your son is such a strong LEADER in this group - we can't have him lagging behind the others. I know that being in the very advanced program is difficult for families and making it a priority can be a huge SACRIFICE." You could just subsitute my pastor - she's exactly the same.

  7. #7
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    Thanks everyone. I'm getting better at this since I thought SJ myself!



    The E verus I - I can't think of any examples, I'm still not sure of this myself. I will say that she appears very middle-of-road or slightly more I. The reason for this is that she's got this 'quiet leader' style when she deals with people. In front of crowd she's a great public speaker but with people she seems more shy or reserved. She's also not particularly chatty in a small-talk kind of way. But let's say she knows that you are going through a tough time she has this annoying way of asking "how are you doing?" She will stare at you intently and kind of scrunch up her face while asking "how.......ARE....you...doing (eyes squinting, face turned to the side)? Seems really fake if you ask me. But I guess I only know her through the church and not in her private life so perhaps I'm only seeing her in this role?

    T versus F. Hmm..What is the Church Lady whose pic Sassafrass posted? She's just like her minus 30 years. A lot of the things I can think of that seem T-like are actually J characteristics and we've already established that. Could any of you give me an example 'what would she do if..?' sort of thing?

    Knowing that she's SJ migh be enough however. Don't get me wrong everyone - I have several good friends who are SJs who are great.
    A quiet person is not necessarily an introvert as a preference for introversion or extroversion indicates where one gets his or her energy from.

    IMO, she is definitely an ESxJ and if you think she has a preference for thinking then she is probably an ESTJ. Overall she seems too domineering to be an ISxJ. My hunch is ISxJs would not desire visible positions of power. Although I am stereotyping, if she were the treasurer, an accountant, etc. then you could argue that she was an ISxJ.

  8. #8
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    My guess is eSTJ with not that strong E.

  9. #9
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
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    Just to play devil's advocate for a moment, is there any chance she could be a power hungry ENFJ? The reason I am speculating is (I think) statistically speaking ENFJs are drawn to positions in religious organizations at a higher frequency than other types.

  10. #10
    Senior Member alcea rosea's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
    Just to play devil's advocate for a moment, is there any chance she could be a power hungry ENFJ? The reason I am speculating is (I think) statistically speaking ENFJs are drawn to positions in religious organizations at a higher frequency than other types.
    I think she could be about any J type there is. She seems a bit controlfreak.

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