The one thing that stuck out to me is, you said this person is trying too hard. If she's exerting obvious effort then she is struggling against something - her natural preference, fatigue, illness, depression, etc. She doesn't sound like a happy person from the way you describe her. I could throw out a type guess (ESXJ) but it sounds to me like she is operating against her natural type. Maybe she'd really rather not be doing what she's doing but is only doing so out of a sense of obligation or guilt or whatever. It just seems that when a person is that annoying, they've got other issues besides personality type at play. I don't know that it's possible to type her at this point.