User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 11 to 20 of 41

  1. #11
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    671

    Default

    A quiet person is not necessarily an introvert as a preference for introversion or extroversion indicates where one gets his or her energy from.
    True, but then how could we determine someone's E versus I without knowing them really well or just asking them?

    Just to play devil's advocate for a moment, is there any chance she could be a power hungry ENFJ?
    Hadn't thought of that. I'll go read a bit about that type. It's certainly not obvious to me that she had much N (I'd say MY own N is much stronger at least on the surface).

    I know I've started to talk about two different people here, but they could be twins so whatever one is the other is surely the same. One more clue - they are both really bad at handling anything out of the ordinary like a setback or problem - but I guess that's a J-thing? One quick example, the school had a holiday musical at a rented hall. I arrived a couple of hours before the event along with the teacher to help set up. We were supposed to supply the centerpieces and we were short two. The teacher was flippping out. I calmly started taking some of the hall's own decorations off the walls and quickly whipped up two great looking centerpieces. The teacher was initially appalled that I would nab things off the walls and she said "I didn't see you doing that" I said "we are RENTING this space, that included everything inside it" (see how good at rationalizing I am?). Problem solved, I put everything back at the end of the night. Not a big deal if you ask me - but to her it was HUGE. The next day she thanked me for my quick thinking.

  2. #12
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    xNTP
    Posts
    992

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alcearos View Post
    I think she could be about any J type there is. She seems a bit controlfreak.
    Succumbing to analysis paralysis, too many options, too many tangents!!! Just kidding

    I agree, she is definitely a J type but probably not an ENTJ or INTJ. Perhaps ESTJ is the best fit for her.

  3. #13
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    xNTP
    Posts
    992

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    I calmly started taking some of the hall's own decorations off the walls and quickly whipped up two great looking centerpieces. The teacher was initially appalled that I would nab things off the walls and she said "I didn't see you doing that" I said "we are RENTING this space, that included everything inside it" (see how good at rationalizing I am?). Problem solved, I put everything back at the end of the night. Not a big deal if you ask me - but to her it was HUGE. The next day she thanked me for my quick thinking.
    Disregard my point about her possibly being an ENFJ, now I am certain she is an ESTJ as most intuitives would have applauded your quick creative solution.

  4. #14
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    After reading the OP, my guess was ESTJ.

    Then I read all the other entries and saw everyone else said the same thing. (woo hoo!)

    I think an ESFJ would actually have been a little more flexible and warm in her dealings. This woman is impersonal, not personal, and doesn't seem to accommodate the actual personal needs of others; she sticks to established protocol.

    (ESTJs tend to have a "Yeah, so what?" attitude if you drag someone's feelings into the situation as a valid reason to consider changing course; they sort of insinuate people are being weak for adjusting for such things.)

    As far as dealing with ESTJs: Well, the quickest way to deal with her is to fire her. (I'm only half-kidding.) Honestly, she sounds like Youth Pastoring is *not* up her alley. She should be working to develop and manage operating procedure, away from any place where she needs to nurture people... because she's not mature enough or practiced enough yet to do it. I guarantee your youth program will not grow, and the only participants will be the kids who have no other choice but to come.

    [Hell Points? HELL POINTS?? She's lost them. they already see her as a joke.]

    (The church I attended has an ESFP youth pastor, she's great for the teens. And EN's usually do very well too. my INFP friend helps out with the kids and mentors them. All of these people are well-suited temperament-wise to flex with the kids. Your ESTJ friend will break them.)

    If you have to deal with her, don't bother with a feeling's approach -- or at least only include it in passing, as information that might stick in her head for later. You should worry about explaining things in terms of practical logic.

    Also, I advise taking a strong approach with her when you approach her with a "practical logic" argument. Yes, you will butt heads. But if you don't, she'll see you as weak and unsure and thus your viewpoint must be weak too. Her natural instinct is to attack and push people around, you can't afford to take it personally. Take her challenge as impersonal ones, regardless as to how you're feeling about them, and address the issues practically. She will be more apt to back-pedal if you hit her hard and impassively. (But I know this takes energy/emotional investment and can be hard sometimes to commit to.)

    Don't be afraid to assert boundaries either. She'll want things clearly defined, fuzziness again is another sign of weakness to her.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #15
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Posts
    671

    Default

    As far as dealing with ESTJs: Well, the quickest way to deal with her is to fire her. (I'm only half-kidding.) Honestly, she sounds like Youth Pastoring is *not* up her alley. She should be working to develop and manage operating procedure, away from any place where she needs to nurture people... because she's not mature enough or practiced enough yet to do it. I guarantee your youth program will not grow, and the only participants will be the kids who have no other choice but to come.
    She already lost lots of the High-School age youth - I'd say half of them don't come to Youth Group because of her. The Middle-school group is still fairly large but most of the parents make the kids go at that age. I've tried discretely talking to a few other trusted parents about it but many of them have the attitude that it's good for the kids to have to deal with different personalities etc. or they say 'give her time,she's new OR they are SJs themselves and like her strict, prim and proper style. I don't want to push it since I don't want to be known as someone who is plotting behind her back. My teens are ENFP and ISXP so they don't work well with her at all. Actually I don't think any of the teens really like her. That's sad.

    Problem is she's replacing our VERY popular former associate/youth pastor and she's got big shoes to fill from the kids point of view. The former was about 30, was very relaxed, go-with-the flow, theologically liberal (wanted to but the rainbow(gay and lesbians welcome) sign on the church, let the kids have a lot of input, went to concerts, had a MySpace where he talked to the kids, and yet I trusted him to know EXACTLY what was going on, but other parents thought he was too easy-going. So I believe the church purposely hired someone more strict.

    Thanks for the advice about dealing with her Jennifer. I'm taking notes!

  6. #16
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    6,276

    Default

    I agree with most everyone else here. I'm thinking ESTJ. What you describe reminds me of my ESTJ father, very much.

    In my experience, ESTJs don't think their arguments out very well. And when they're defeated, logically, they always fall back on the 'rules'.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

  7. #17
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Posts
    979

    Default

    I'm a little confused about one thing - if she's an ESTJ her lead function is Thinking, but there's some question about her being an F. So is it possible she's an ISTJ (lead function Sensing; Thinking in the secondary position, Feeling in tertiary) who's not comfortable in her leadership position, hence she's acting more stringently/stridently? As JustDave said, her real talent as an ISTJ would be in a less leadership-oriented role. Designing curriculum rather than implementing it would be more her strength, although she sounds pretty unsuited to dealing with teens at all.

    Jae Rae
    Proud Female Rider in Maverick's Bike Club.

  8. #18
    Senior Member JustDave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    MBTI
    xNTP
    Posts
    992

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    I'm a little confused about one thing - if she's an ESTJ her lead function is Thinking, but there's some question about her being an F. So is it possible she's an ISTJ (lead function Sensing; Thinking in the secondary position, Feeling in tertiary) who's not comfortable in her leadership position, hence she's acting more stringently/stridently? As JustDave said, her real talent as an ISTJ would be in a less leadership-oriented role. Designing curriculum rather than implementing it would be more her strength, although she sounds pretty unsuited to dealing with teens at all.

    Jae Rae
    Besides some of her actions (which I am too lazy to type again) the reason I think she has a feeling preference is becuase I tend to associate religious administration with feelers.

    Most people would agree that ESTJs are second only to ENTJs in corporate career potential and for this seemingly well motivated and assertive person to (given the average lower salaries) work for a not for profit seems illogical.

  9. #19
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Posts
    5,349

    Default

    I had an ESTJ female Christian boss once.
    She had to micromanage everything.
    I think they need to be in charge of a lot of people.
    If they don't have enough people to be in charge of,
    they spend too much time with their nose in everyone's life.
    Also, my boss would make sweeping general statements about people that insinuated bad things about them.
    She always believed the worst of people, never the best.
    She spent every waking moment inventing new hoops for us to jump through.
    I started to feel like I needed to ask permission to go to the bathroom.
    Last edited by INTJMom; 02-18-2008 at 03:53 PM.

  10. #20
    Senior Member Lateralus's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2007
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    3w4
    Posts
    6,276

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JustDave View Post
    Besides some of her actions (which I am too lazy to type again) the reason I think she has a feeling preference is becuase I tend to associate religious administration with feelers.
    Wrong. I don't even want to bother explaining why.

    Most people would agree that ESTJs are second only to ENTJs in corporate career potential and for this seemingly well motivated and assertive person to (given the average lower salaries) work for a not for profit seems illogical.
    Wrong again. It appears that you're operating under the assumption that material wealth is most important to ESTJs.
    "We grow up thinking that beliefs are something to be proud of, but they're really nothing but opinions one refuses to reconsider. Beliefs are easy. The stronger your beliefs are, the less open you are to growth and wisdom, because "strength of belief" is only the intensity with which you resist questioning yourself. As soon as you are proud of a belief, as soon as you think it adds something to who you are, then you've made it a part of your ego."

Similar Threads

  1. [Socionics] Socionics type? Does this sound like the SEI?
    By Generalist in forum Socionics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-29-2016, 02:11 PM
  2. What function does this sound like?
    By Infinite Bubble in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 35
    Last Post: 01-31-2013, 09:33 AM
  3. INFJ: What ennagram type does this sound like to you?
    By Ribonuke in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 01-29-2013, 12:57 PM
  4. What does this sound like? :P
    By _dp in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-25-2009, 08:21 PM
  5. What type does this English writer sound like?
    By Sniffles in forum What's my Type?
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 09-07-2008, 01:44 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO