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ENFP or INFP? Heeeeelp, please!

cfs1992

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211
hmm...i only wish i could flee when it's an in my face type person and they start berating me with questions and i feel like i'm being interrogated and/or judged...HATE that but i generally like most people so am happy to socialize when out.

I like to socialize when people come to me, initiate conversation and so on. I like people and I love when they do that!

But when it comes to be comfortable around more than one stranger and initiating conversations... I'm not good, though I wish I was. Life would be more interesting... :(

But in the situation I said, when one friend presents one person to me, I'm really okay with it... ;)
 

Lady_X

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Oct 27, 2008
Messages
18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
784
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
sounds more enfp to me but it's all so tricky because there's just so much variation.
 

Lady_X

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yeah i know...i still sort of question it too because julia roberts is supposedly an infp and she seems socialable to me...kinda chill but upbeat and seems to be enthusiastic...idk
 

skylights

i love
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Jul 6, 2010
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7,756
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
so/sx
yeah i don't like to initiate conversation much either, even though i am happy to converse.

and aw julia roberts! i like her :) i'm surprised to hear INFP for her. she seems kinda bubbly for it.
 

KDude

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I know I am assertive. Not necessarily in bad ways, but I've had a share of that too. To use an anecdote, even my dad, a fairly patriotic military ESTJ guy, would never want me to follow in his footsteps. Or rather, he thinks I'd get kicked out. Because he knows firsthand how non-compliant I can be.

It should be mentioned though that a lot of things aren't all that important to me to be assertive about.. so I don't exactly put off some "aggressive" vibe or anything, but when they are, people know it.

Anyways, assertiveness isn't anything out of the ordinary for INFPs. For example, Naomi Quenk writes in her book "Was That Really Me?" that INFPs are among the types that get the least stressed out - for the very reason that they let things loose when something's disagreeable to them. She says they may be more assertive than ISFPs even. People can disagree, but I would just point out that she oversees the MBTI manual itself. Her reasoning being that Ne's focus on possibilities rather than the "moment" makes them unsettled with staying in a situation "as is". Both generally are sensitive and don't like friction in their lives, but the ISFPs could possibly end up finding themselves in a bad spot because of the more wait-and-see-approach. While with INFPs, they're more likely to be critical, or if they want to quit a job, they'll just do it. On the downside, the whole book is more about shadow types - and the IFP "shadow" behavior in general is pretty vicious. Any hint of our self-effacing, get along attitude is thrown out the window.
 

cfs1992

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I know I am assertive. Not necessarily in bad ways, but I've had a share of that too. To use an anecdote, even my dad, a fairly patriotic military ESTJ guy, would never want me to follow in his footsteps. Or rather, he thinks I'd get kicked out. Because he knows firsthand how non-compliant I can be.

It should be mentioned though that a lot of things aren't all that important to me to be assertive about.. so I don't exactly put off some "aggressive" vibe or anything, but when they are, people know it.

Anyways, assertiveness isn't anything out of the ordinary for INFPs. For example, Naomi Quenk writes in her book "Was That Really Me?" that INFPs are among the types that get the least stressed out - for the very reason that they let things loose when something's disagreeable to them. She says they may be more assertive than ISFPs even. People can disagree, but I would just point out that she oversees the MBTI manual itself. Her reasoning being that Ne's focus on possibilities rather than the "moment" makes them unsettled with staying in a situation "as is". Both generally are sensitive and don't like friction in their lives, but the ISFPs could possibly end up finding themselves in a badspot because of the more wait-and-see-approach. While with INFPs, they're more likely to be critical, or if they want to quit a job, they'll just do it. On the downside, the whole book is more about shadow types - and the IFP "shadow" behavior in general is pretty vicious. Any hint of our self-effacing, get along attitude is thrown out the window.

Thanks for the help!

Hmm, very good to know this. We must not be blinded by stereotypes.
 
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KDude

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I have to say though.. I just read your original post, and I'll say you sound ENFP as well. I'm not shy or unassertive either, but you seem to gravitate towards extroversion. I liked acting and music, for example, but I still kind of disliked being center-of-attention or be kind of selective with who I discuss things or perform with.
 

cfs1992

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I have to say though.. I just read your original post, and I'll say you sound ENFP as well. I'm not shy or unassertive either, but you seem to gravitate towards extroversion. I liked acting and music, for example, but I still kind of disliked being center-of-attention or be kind of selective with who I discuss things or perform with.

I neither like nor dislike being the center of atenttion, I'm just indifferent about this, I just don't mind... :newwink:

The only situation that I feel really uncomfortable, is when people is paying attention on me when I see no valuable motive for this, like in my birthday parties...
 

KDude

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Yeah.. birthday parties are not my thing either. I mean, appreciate it, but please don't sing or announce to everyone it's my birthday. I could be getting old too, but I don't remember wanting to be "the birthday boy" exactly.
 

cfs1992

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Now, I'll say what makes me really think I'm an INFP (things that wasn't said on the OP):

- I hide my feelings very much. I rarely make them public. It makes me boil inside while in the outside I appear very serene. It's kinda fountain of stress for me: when I have to expose my feelings I become shy (I said I'm not shy, but I'm not shy when exposing my intellect/ thoughts, not feelings) and anxious, afraid to risk hurting them, and suffer. Many things I hadn't accomplished in my life because of it...

- I was very anti-social in my childhood and teen years. I would rather be alone reading and dreaming then trying to mix with people that would treat me bad because I was very different from them. I would not change to please them if they would not accept me the way I was/ am.

- Since I was even a child, I always had a strong sense of self, values, identity and originality. It have always been my trademark.

- I only could have real friends when I found someone who accepted me or identified with me. When I was sixteen. I have few friends.

- I fantasize reality a lot, making it more novel.

- I idealize people too much.

- I'm reclusive and have a mysterious streak. Paradoxically, it draws attention to me... :huh:

- I'm poetic, but I don't expose this. Only in my poetry.

- I'm extremely in touch with my Fi.

- I feel nostalgic and fantasize my past and childhood.

- I have a very good memory, that is even better than my mother's (who is the quintessential ISFJ).
 
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cfs1992

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INFP
If your personality type is INFP then you have some deeply-held values, though there are probably very few people, if any, who know what those values actually are. Privately, you may be a people-person, but others may not recognise it as you show your feelings in indirect, imaginative ways rather than in more conventional expressions of care. You may be looking forward to the realisation of some personal ideals.

ENFP
If your personality type is ENFP then you are someone who senses the hidden potential in people. You enjoy starting discussion or activities that challenge and stimulate others into having new insights about themselves, which they can then take and apply to their own personal growth. You are enthusiastic about new projects or causes that offer the potential for a beneficial impact on people, especially when it involves breaking new ground.

How good is this comparison?
 
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Lady_X

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18,235
MBTI Type
ENFP
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784
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sx/sp
if it helps...i identify much more with the above enfp description but also identify a bit with your post above that....it's the 7ness most likely that makes me uncomfortable expressing emotions...unless it's the enthusiastic happy ones regarding some new idea or project or when encouraging others or something...but if i've had a bad day and someone asks about it i might say eh...it's alright. i'll figure it out...but i never really want to talk about it....also...i'm poetic...in my head but others wouldn't know this...my memory sucks and i'm terrified of public speaking although i'm pretty sure i would have no issue fronting a band if i could sing haha and i daydream a lot and have to connect in someway to truly consider someone a friend and i was shy when i was little.
 

cfs1992

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if it helps...i identify much more with the above enfp description but also identify a bit with your post above that....it's the 7ness most likely that makes me uncomfortable expressing emotions...unless it's the enthusiastic happy ones regarding some new idea or project or when encouraging others or something...but if i've had a bad day and someone asks about it i might say eh...it's alright. i'll figure it out...but i never really want to talk about it....also...i'm poetic...in my head but others wouldn't know this...my memory sucks and i'm terrified of public speaking although i'm pretty sure i would have no issue fronting a band if i could sing haha and i daydream a lot and have to connect in someway to truly consider someone a friend and i was shy when i was little.

Thanks for the help!

It's funny how some extroverts can be shy sometimes, I've noticed it a lot when I observe people, principally my ex-classmates...

Yeah, I'll have to think carefully, then draw my conclusion... There are many things really tricky and I'll have to reflect a lot about the information I gathered here in correlation with myself... :)

EDIT: ENFP ;)
 
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