Ok so I was wondering if you could help me with this lil problem. My good-friend who got me into MBTI, has claimed for a long time he's an INTJ. But having read into the INTJ type and other similar types. I've concluded he more closer to an INFJ. I hope I can show him this thread, and your responses so that he can be enlightened/corrected. I've tried really hard to convince him, but he's not budging, and he's very adamant he's an INTJ. Even though, he's hardly put up a fight, instead he's really shied away and keeps saying 'we're never gonna agree on this'. Here are my observations after living with him for 3 years...
- He's not into anything remotely to do with computers, science, maths. He has never been into that technical stuff, he's much more into human values and human nature in general.
He's not career/success driven. He's just finished college (studied Politics) but he has absolutely no idea what career he wants to go into and is generally quite lacks about it.
- He's never upset anyone, or said anything out of turn. Living with him for 3 years, he's the kindest, gentlest person I know. He claims he's not harsh on people, because his NT side has taught him to know better. :/ Don't know what to make of that?
- He's very emotional. He likes listening to sad piano music, and will sometimes just cry to himself whilst listening to it. He's always talking about what he feels and says the feeling of looking forward to a something, is better than the feeling once you get it.
- He's very sensitive. He gets goosebumps very easily, whilst listening to dramatic music, or watching movies. He's quite easily intimidated, and has a big gulp-reflex, where he instinctively gulps at almost anything out of the ordinary, or if u challenge him in the slightest way.
- He keeps conversations short and not very analytical or in-depth. He's pace of talking is very slow, and actually takes a few seconds for him to respond anything. On the phone, I sometimes think he's hung up, due the large pauses between his sentences.
- He hates disturbance of the peace. He finds it very unsettling when there is conflict. And often says "why can't people get along, it's logical to get along".
- He's never initiated an argument. When I mean, I mean never. He puts it down to the fact that he's an 'I'. Aren't INTJs prone to abit of healthy argument? He much prefers thoughtful discussion, than a 1 v 1 debate.
- He's never said anything out of place. He's very keen on acting/saying the appropriate thing in social setting, and doesn't understand why others would make inappropriate statements.
He claims he's a T rather than an F, because he's 'so logical' and that "everything I do is logical". Yet check what logic means to him... in his words explaining how he's good at 'seeing flaws':
INTJs are good at seeing flaws. Show me a stunning photo of Alexa Chung, I'll say “her ears look weird”. Play me some music, I'll say “don’t like the snares”.
Haha what? He thinks 'finding flaws' is commenting on his own idea of unappealing aesthetics :/ Rather than seeing a flaw in an equation/argument ...
He keeps saying everything he does is with logic, and being nice and saying appropriate things is logical. He worries that he acts cold/harsh to people, but infact he's very gentle with everyone.He loves to talk about human nature, and was very keen on discovering MBTI and learning about himself. But I think he's incorrectly typed himself. I think he's more of an INFJ with a very strong T ...
Phew, thanks for reading all of this! And thanks if you can give any thoughts ..