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  1. #1
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    Default I'm an ENTP... my friend claims he's an INTJ.. but I know he's not. Plz help him?

    Hi everyone!

    Ok so I was wondering if you could help me with this lil problem. My good-friend who got me into MBTI, has claimed for a long time he's an INTJ. But having read into the INTJ type and other similar types. I've concluded he more closer to an INFJ. I hope I can show him this thread, and your responses so that he can be enlightened/corrected. I've tried really hard to convince him, but he's not budging, and he's very adamant he's an INTJ. Even though, he's hardly put up a fight, instead he's really shied away and keeps saying 'we're never gonna agree on this'. Here are my observations after living with him for 3 years...

    • He's not into anything remotely to do with computers, science, maths. He has never been into that technical stuff, he's much more into human values and human nature in general.
      He's not career/success driven. He's just finished college (studied Politics) but he has absolutely no idea what career he wants to go into and is generally quite lacks about it.
    • He's never upset anyone, or said anything out of turn. Living with him for 3 years, he's the kindest, gentlest person I know. He claims he's not harsh on people, because his NT side has taught him to know better. :/ Don't know what to make of that?
    • He's very emotional. He likes listening to sad piano music, and will sometimes just cry to himself whilst listening to it. He's always talking about what he feels and says the feeling of looking forward to a something, is better than the feeling once you get it.
    • He's very sensitive. He gets goosebumps very easily, whilst listening to dramatic music, or watching movies. He's quite easily intimidated, and has a big gulp-reflex, where he instinctively gulps at almost anything out of the ordinary, or if u challenge him in the slightest way.
    • He keeps conversations short and not very analytical or in-depth. He's pace of talking is very slow, and actually takes a few seconds for him to respond anything. On the phone, I sometimes think he's hung up, due the large pauses between his sentences.
    • He hates disturbance of the peace. He finds it very unsettling when there is conflict. And often says "why can't people get along, it's logical to get along".
    • He's never initiated an argument. When I mean, I mean never. He puts it down to the fact that he's an 'I'. Aren't INTJs prone to abit of healthy argument? He much prefers thoughtful discussion, than a 1 v 1 debate.
    • He's never said anything out of place. He's very keen on acting/saying the appropriate thing in social setting, and doesn't understand why others would make inappropriate statements.


    He claims he's a T rather than an F, because he's 'so logical' and that "everything I do is logical". Yet check what logic means to him... in his words explaining how he's good at 'seeing flaws':

    INTJs are good at seeing flaws. Show me a stunning photo of Alexa Chung, I'll say “her ears look weird”. Play me some music, I'll say “don’t like the snares”.

    Haha what? He thinks 'finding flaws' is commenting on his own idea of unappealing aesthetics :/ Rather than seeing a flaw in an equation/argument ...

    He keeps saying everything he does is with logic, and being nice and saying appropriate things is logical. He worries that he acts cold/harsh to people, but infact he's very gentle with everyone.He loves to talk about human nature, and was very keen on discovering MBTI and learning about himself. But I think he's incorrectly typed himself. I think he's more of an INFJ with a very strong T ...

    Phew, thanks for reading all of this! And thanks if you can give any thoughts ..

    Appreciate it

  2. #2
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    Um I thought my ENTJ friend was ENFJ when I first met him, but became convinced ENTJ over time, though you seem to have known this guy for quite some time and are still convinced INFJ over INTJ.

    Actually I think the fact that he doesn't talk much seems more INTJ than INFJ...INFJs are more likely to socialize and can occasionally be mistaken for extroverts, apparently, because of their concern for other people.

    A nice calm facade is a sign of a healthy, mature NTJ I think. It's more like a rational acceptance of not getting bothered by things. My ENTJ friend would say "this is nothing." Stuff really doesn't bother him and I would see him kind of shrug it off and advise me to do the same. But his advice was rational, like A + B = C, now do you see?

    I don't know why you think his interest in politics or the way he criticizes aethetics makes him not INTJ. Also, INTJs do have feelings, I don't think being moved over piano music automatically makes him NF, though he's clearly more in touch with his F side than some INTJs.

    Of course you know him, so you could be right...I recommend you check out this thread: http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...iend-mine.html


    And good luck trying to tell him he's not INTJ if he is INTJ. Of course he won't budge. lol. I think a INFJ might be more influenced by others? I don't know.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    It is always interesting to see marm talk about INTJs.

  4. #4
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Well the NT temperament is called phlegmatic and from what you described I cant tell if your friend is phlegmatic but I cant tell that he's not aswell.

    The best way to get to know your friends is always to talk to them and listen to what they say and not to type them and create therefore a world of your own, which can at some point unsync the perception you have on the world from the real world.

    And sensitivity is no mark of the unbrave, sensiitivity is the ability to see the world from different perspectives and if you think a T - type shouldnt be emotional nor sensitive you better crawl back into the cave you came from
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  5. #5
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    Hey thanks for the link,

    from what I've read INFJ and INTJs are very similar. Except that INFJs care more about appropriateness and appearances than INTJs do. Which my friend cares a lot for. I know both an ENTJ and INTJ, and they both can be quite dicks. But my friend is always very polite and diplomatic. His rational is that it's logical to behave they way he does, and that everyone should too. He's also quite good at picking up girls in clubs (...)


    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    I don't know why you think his interest in politics or the way he criticizes aethetics makes him not INTJ.
    Uh I think you misunderstood me here. It's not that he criticizes aesthetics that I think he's not INTJ. It's that when he reads an INTJ profile which states they're 'good at finding flaws'. He understands it to mean simple aesthetic flaws, rather than REAL flaws, 1 + 1 =/= 3. (See this Intel Commercial, supposed INTJ humour, INTJ spotting the flaw)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nicodemus View Post
    It is always interesting to see marm talk about INTJs.
    Cool, so you think who I'm describing an INTJ? What do you think of this guy in this video? [YOUTUBE="6m83kD6VoA0"][/YOUTUBE] My friend is eerily close to this guy...

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6m83kD6VoA0"]INFJ guy[/YOUTUBE]

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Well the NT temperament is called phlegmatic and from what you described I cant tell if your friend is phlegmatic but I cant tell that he's not aswell.

    The best way to get to know your friends is always to talk to them and listen to what they say and not to type them and create therefore a world of your own, which can at some point unsync the perception you have on the world from the real world.

    And sensitivity is no mark of the unbrave, sensiitivity is the ability to see the world from different perspectives and if you think a T - type shouldnt be emotional nor sensitive you better crawl back into the cave you came from
    The last sentence of your post was totally unneeded. You've racked up 10,000 forum posts? Wow your a failed ENTP ...

  8. #8
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GordonRamsay View Post
    Cool, so you think who I'm describing an INTJ?
    No, I think INFJ might actually be more appropriate. marm is still talking about INTJs, though.

  9. #9
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GordonRamsay View Post
    The last sentence of your post was totally unneeded. You've racked up 10,000 forum posts? Wow your a failed ENTP ...
    Dont worry, this was all part of the proving sensibility masterplan
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by GordonRamsay View Post
    The last sentence of your post was totally unneeded. You've racked up 10,000 forum posts? Wow your a failed ENTP ...
    He's German.

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