It's been a while since the last time I visited this forum. About half a year ago I stumbled onto this forum over a guy that toyed with my heart, and you all were very helpful in providing advices/insights, and showing me the brighter side of things. I finally was able to drag myself out of the obsessive/depressive stage, and mentally recovered to the point where I can enjoy going out and meeting new people and going on dates.
After a slew of first dates that didn't click, I am finally happy that I found a guy that I can proudly call my boyfriend. I met him in one of my classes, and after one lunch and a night out together, we were immediately drawn to each other. The only downside is that he is an exchange student at my university, and will go back to his country at the end of December. As such, I had initially taken this as a light-hearted relationship. But after one month of talking to each other daily and seeing each other 3 days a week, I have grown to really like him, and I sense the same from him as well.
We have talked about the future, and though he was honest to tell me that every long distance relationship he has been in (he has lived in many places before), it has failed because of the distance, so he cannot promise me anything concrete. But he told me he has the intention of making it work beyond December, and that is all I can ask for right now.
But as mentioned before, he is different from me in many aspects, and I want to understand him as much as I can. He is a Feeler for sure, my intuition tells me NF than SF, but I am not 100% clear on that. Below are some of his personalities:
- Never late to anything (must be a German thing)
- Treasures his family
- Younger of the two male brothers
- Travels extensively (goes to school in one place, works at another, goes on an exchange program at yet another place, etc.)
- Was bullied until he was 16, when he started growing taller and became popular
- Secretly a bookworm, reading lots of practical books (how to read people, autobiography of political figures) as opposed to novels
- Incredibly generous and tolerant, or conflict-avoidant (in his own words)
- People-focused (studying business, believes in the power of organization, likes to party more and meet people at new places than to see places, etc.)
- Presents a more smooth grown-up womanizer guy persona, but secretly a softie and a shy guy, has a boy-ish smile
- Indirect in expressing affectionate feelings (no explicit statement of affection, but will drop cute lines here and there), but will not hesitate to tell me when I am about to push his boundaries
- Can be protective of me at times
- Talented in picking out accessories and shoes
- Likes to dress up in ZARA clothes, definitely has some soft-spoken feminine side to him
- mentioned to me on multiple occasions that he was not the player type, and that getting out of relationships is not easy for him
What is so amazing about him is the fact that he is not overbearing at all. From previous experiences, I have become accustomed to assume the giver role, but at the same time, I got used to playing silly little mind games like keeping track of who initiates a conversation and making sure the balance is not slanted, etc. But with him things like that do not matter at all, and I am only learning to fully embrace that kind of unassuming love.
But inevitably we communicate in different ways. I am more direct, open, and frequent with my communication. For example, I have asked him several times over the course of the relationship whether the current frequency of communication was too much/too little for him (because I would want to spend as much time as possible with him, but obviously that may be too much for some people, so I asked him to tell me if it gets stifling and I would not be offended). He never directly answers that question. Instead, just gives me a warm smile, pats me on the back of my head, and tells me "You're cute" for asking that question.
So I sometimes cannot help but wonder if I am missing any cues or signals. It'd be great if I can get your opinion on his personality, and understand how people of that type tend to express their feelings, etc.
Thanks for reading such a long post, and have a great weekend (what's left of it .