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ESFJ or ENFJ: There can be only one. . .

Which am I?

  • ESFJ

    Votes: 9 75.0%
  • ENFJ

    Votes: 3 25.0%

  • Total voters
    12

pure_mercury

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Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
So, I think it's time to A) discuss this, since it's been hanging over me the entire time I've posted here; and B) take a poll. I took my first physical MBTI test in my Organizational Behavior class (MBA study), and I got ENFJ. Now, I have gotten before, but it was a pretty pronounced N this time around (below my E, but even with my J, which most of you know is pretty clear-cut). What do you guys think and why?
 

Afkan

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Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
So, I think it's time to A) discuss this, since it's been hanging over me the entire time I've posted here; and B) take a poll. I took my first physical MBTI test in my Organizational Behavior class (MBA study), and I got ENFJ. Now, I have gotten before, but it was a pretty pronounced N this time around (below my E, but even with my J, which most of you know is pretty clear-cut). What do you guys think and why?

Do I understand correctly that all your evidence says you are N? Or did you mean to say S in one of the typings referred to above?
 

nozflubber

DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
Joined
Mar 30, 2008
Messages
2,078
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Hype
I say ESFJ but i dont really have good, defendable reason(s) why other than your profound interest and keenness of history (usually sign of Si)


speaking of which, what happened with that? Hollywood sucking your soul out from under you perhaps?! I found many of your posts more informative than most of the posts of NTs around here. it was delightful and refreshing to know NTs don't have the monopoly on input and analysis.
 

Eric B

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Mar 29, 2008
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I've long seen your name on posts with the type, but for some reason never quite got ESFJ vibes, and now, seeing the picture in your avatar, if that is you, and you're just being yourself there, it doesn't strike me as ESFJ either.
I happen to be married to one, and while I'm not sure what an ESFJ male would be like (or if I know of any), you always did seem more like something else; particularly a type that might be a bit more drawn to type theory.

I tend to start with temperament/Interaction Style combo. So by changing to N, not only does that make you more abstract focused (and hence, drawn to theory), but you also go from a "Get Things Going" style (Sanguine) to an In Charge (Choleric). That does seem like it would make sense. And it certainly fits the face (though I know, anyone can make any face for a picture).

The other part of this would be NF instead of SJ. I don't particularly see either, but then NF would seem to make more sense than SJ.

The differences in the temperament factors:
ESFJ: informative, concrete structure focused (like institutions, rules, etc)
ENFJ: directive, abstract motive focused (likes understanding people, including self)

Again, the picture clearly says directive, and IIRC, so does the writing style. (Reminder: "directive" is not just about literal giving of orders).

The other main thing to look at is of course, the functional difference: Si vs Ni as auxiliary.

Is your primary perceptive perspective that of internal concreteness like memory/history, or is it internal abstraction like patterns (including archetypal stuff like type models of people and such)?
(I see someone noticed "history", but I just hadn't paid attention to that in your posts).
 

Jaguar

Active member
Joined
May 5, 2007
Messages
20,647
I thought this quote from another group was interesting, as well as amusing:

ESFJs are more concerned with tradition, politeness, and emotional currency. ESFJs have trouble thinking outside the box. ESFJs are more prone to being religious. ESFJs are traditionalists. ESFJs can be very pragmatic and unwilling to change, and even hostile to changing the rules or established expectations. "I want to help you. Let me see if I can find something in the rules to let me help you."

ENFJs are more concerned with the future, possibilities, and how best to make someone happy. ENFJs have trouble thinking inside the box. ENFJs are more prone to being spiritual. ENFJs are visionaries. ENFJs can be very unconventional and idealistic, and even hostile to people being unwilling to change the rules to make things right. "Who cares how you're supposed to do it, this guy needs help."
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
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INFP
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4w5
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sp/sx
From my impression of your posts, you display this memory for detail and information that indicates Si to me. It's rather enviable how SJs seem to store all that info their head & recall it so easily. An example of this is when you've discussed pop culture (music, movies, TV, etc).

I also just find ENFJs generally more vague and ESFJs more specific, and you seem more specific. I realize that is vague also.... :D
 

pure_mercury

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Joined
Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
Do I understand correctly that all your evidence says you are N? Or did you mean to say S in one of the typings referred to above?

I have tested as ESFJ most often, ENFJ less so. I've had one person on here say I was an ENTJ. My N and S are usually close, either 50-50 or <60 one way or the other. At the meetup in May, JustHer said, "Dude, you are SO your type" meaning ESFJ.
 

pure_mercury

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Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I say ESFJ but i dont really have good, defendable reason(s) why other than your profound interest and keenness of history (usually sign of Si)


speaking of which, what happened with that? Hollywood sucking your soul out from under you perhaps?! I found many of your posts more informative than most of the posts of NTs around here. it was delightful and refreshing to know NTs don't have the monopoly on input and analysis.


Grad school. I rarely have a free hour anymore. I am just tired and pissy and often lonely.
 

pure_mercury

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Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
I've long seen your name on posts with the type, but for some reason never quite got ESFJ vibes, and now, seeing the picture in your avatar, if that is you, and you're just being yourself there, it doesn't strike me as ESFJ either.

That is my beautiful visage, yes. :hi:


I happen to be married to one, and while I'm not sure what an ESFJ male would be like (or if I know of any), you always did seem more like something else; particularly a type that might be a bit more drawn to type theory.

I am fascinated by people, personalities, relationships, etc. I like learning about the types, but I am not really too hung on the the type THEORY. For me, the types = personalities = parts of individuals. I hear the male ESFJ is the "used car salesman" personality cliche. I have a bit of that, but I have a deeper dimension.


I tend to start with temperament/Interaction Style combo. So by changing to N, not only does that make you more abstract focused (and hence, drawn to theory), but you also go from a "Get Things Going" style (Sanguine) to an In Charge (Choleric). That does seem like it would make sense. And it certainly fits the face (though I know, anyone can make any face for a picture).

My face is N? That is a new one. I wouldn't be surprised, though. . .


The other part of this would be NF instead of SJ. I don't particularly see either, but then NF would seem to make more sense than SJ.

I'm sure as hell not NT. And I'm a pretty strong J, so SP is out, too.


The differences in the temperament factors:
ESFJ: informative, concrete structure focused (like institutions, rules, etc)
ENFJ: directive, abstract motive focused (likes understanding people, including self)

I like institutions, and I am not totally against rules. They need to be fair and implemented for good reasons, though. Not into rules or regulations for their own sake or "to keep people in line." It's more of a right or wrong thing for me. I can be very emotional when it comes to people/issues I care deeply about. Very black-and-white when it comes to ethics and rights and justice and how to treat people.


Again, the picture clearly says directive, and IIRC, so does the writing style. (Reminder: "directive" is not just about literal giving of orders).

My shirtless torso and body are "directive?" I am using that one in the bar.


The other main thing to look at is of course, the functional difference: Si vs Ni as auxiliary.

Is your primary perceptive perspective that of internal concreteness like memory/history, or is it internal abstraction like patterns (including archetypal stuff like type models of people and such)?
(I see someone noticed "history", but I just hadn't paid attention to that in your posts).

I am a big history buff. I love history, geography, reading (nonfiction, fiction, The Economist, biographies, music mags, most things). I am very intellectually curious and I make crazy leaps of thought and conversation. Absurd (absurdist?) sense of humor often. I like wordplay and verbal banter, but I am often disarmingly direct and intense in my serious moments.
 

pure_mercury

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Feb 28, 2008
Messages
6,946
MBTI Type
ESFJ
From my impression of your posts, you display this memory for detail and information that indicates Si to me. It's rather enviable how SJs seem to store all that info their head & recall it so easily. An example of this is when you've discussed pop culture (music, movies, TV, etc).

I also just find ENFJs generally more vague and ESFJs more specific, and you seem more specific. I realize that is vague also.... :D

I am either a with-it, direct NF or a highly intelligent, developed SJ. What is the narcissistic type again?
 

Thalassa

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May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
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ISFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
ESFJ. You're the only person who noticed that the train wasn't coming.
 

Afkan

New member
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
324
I have tested as ESFJ most often, ENFJ less so. I've had one person on here say I was an ENTJ. My N and S are usually close, either 50-50 or <60 one way or the other. At the meetup in May, JustHer said, "Dude, you are SO your type" meaning ESFJ.
I see. Well... my first "gut" feeling when reading your OP was ESFJ. The expression in your avi pic too. My husband is ESFJ so I am qualified in my opinion....hahaha jk. Also the fact that you are asking which type ppl think you are... seems very male ESFJ to me for some reason. Pardon me for saying so, but I think its the feeling that I'm getting that you are asking for a reassurance.

On the other hand, the fact that you separate the two "options" at the beginning of the OP seems more ENFJ. You are like, "a. or b." But that could go either way really.

Also I've found it more common amongst ESFJs to study psychology in the form of organizational behavior, or business in general, or sometimes marketing. These branches of psychology are more practical and down-to-earth as far as providing for livelihood, both personally & for a family, or even a future family. From what I've seen ESFJs are usually driven to be Providers of basic needs and some luxury kinds of things (called the guardian Provider [Keirsey] for a reason), while ENFJs seem to be more commonly drawn to taking care of the psyches of ppl, and as such those closely related branches of psychology. Not that this is exclusive of course...an ENFJ marketer [or <insert any occupation here>] who (in personal life) takes care of psyche needs more and may be slightly oblivious to physical needs, comforts and vice versa.
 

Eric B

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That is my beautiful visage, yes. :hi:

I am fascinated by people, personalities, relationships, etc. I like learning about the types, but I am not really too hung on the the type THEORY. For me, the types = personalities = parts of individuals.
That still sounds possibly NF'ish. You can be into theory for the logical aspect (which would suggest T vs F), but also, for the abstract aspect of it also (which would be N vs S), and NF's use the theory to explore people as individuals.
SFJ's seem too busy trying to take care of the down-to earth needs of people such as hosting and caretaking to stay into it for long.

So my wife got into temperament theory just as a step to try to build credential to become a counselor to help people. When that didn't quite work out, she moved on (and then I picked it up for the logical structure of the theory).

I hear the male ESFJ is the "used car salesman" personality cliche. I have a bit of that, but I have a deeper dimension.
I also hear that for ENFP's. That's probably just the common "Get Things Going" style.

My face is N? That is a new one. I wouldn't be surprised, though. . .
No, your face is not N, but it does seem to be a very "Choleric" look. Again, I realize that could just be a face you put on just for show.
The N for your case would change the type from a Sanguine (ESF) to a Choleric (ENJ). But the Choleric could also be EST. I would have believed ESTJ for you, but you don't seem to be considering it or coming out as that on tests.

I'm sure as hell not NT. And I'm a pretty strong J, so SP is out, too.
Yeah; I didn't really think those either (especially not any P type).

I like institutions, and I am not totally against rules. They need to be fair and implemented for good reasons, though. Not into rules or regulations for their own sake or "to keep people in line." It's more of a right or wrong thing for me. I can be very emotional when it comes to people/issues I care deeply about. Very black-and-white when it comes to ethics and rights and justice and how to treat people.
I guess all of that sounds like SFJ.

My shirtless torso and body are "directive?" I am using that one in the bar.
No, no, no; just the face.

I am a big history buff. I love history, geography, reading (nonfiction, fiction, The Economist, biographies, music mags, most things). I am very intellectually curious and I make crazy leaps of thought and conversation. Absurd (absurdist?) sense of humor often. I like wordplay and verbal banter, but I am often disarmingly direct and intense in my serious moments.

Do you like those things just for their own sake, or do you abstract patterns and meanings from them? Like using characters as "models" of behavior patterns, by which you can get a sense of what will happen in situations where a noticed pattern seems to be repeating?

While Ni is often considered "future" in contrst to Si being "past", both forms of introverted perception have a memory aspect, as stored knowledge (such as history) is either referenced in concrete form, or abstracted from.

(I also happen to have a very strong nostalgic streak, and I indentify this as Si in the tertiary position).
 

skylights

i love
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Messages
7,756
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INFP
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so/sx
ENFJs have trouble thinking inside the box

i have to disagree with this. i think ENFJs are excellent at thinking inside the box in a way that is greater than the box itself. NFP is more likely to just ditch the box, whereas NFJ changes the box to suit their needs. of course, maybe we are saying the same thing in different ways.

Eric B said:
I also hear that for ENFP's. That's probably just the common "Get Things Going" style.

lol. alternatively phrased, it's just Ne and F. something ESFJs and ENFPs have in common is that we can convince pretty much anyone of anything because Ne generates infinite ways of looking at things while F allows us to easily connect with the other person. you'll notice though that ENFP convinces more through the idea itself whereas ESFJ does it through the social connection. not that either way is right or wrong, or better or worse.

i know an ENFJ and ESFJ both very well, as well as a few not so well, and one difference i've seen play out between ESFJ and ENFJ is a greater attentiveness to small detail in ESFJ and a greater attentiveness to environmental stuff in ENFJ. ENFJ seems to get quickly bored with minutiae and willing to disregard it, whereas ESFJ might get bored too but is more willing to see the importance of it and stick with it. ENFJs can have very impressive startling tert Se, though. ENFJs also seem stuck up sometimes (no offense ENFJs). but i mean, there is somewhat of a tangible removal, while ESFJ seems very there, more down to earth. ESFJs generally seem more bubbly/optimistic though can present more as worry on the outside, whereas ENFJs can experience more inner storms but are less likely to express them. ESFJs are more likely to be intolerant of people being assholes. ENFJs is more likely to be curious why people are being assholes. ENFJ is more of a natural leader but ESFJ has a better sense of what should be done next.

i hope my theory-confirmed-by-real-life generalizations are helpful :laugh:
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
Joined
Jul 19, 2009
Messages
2,585
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INTJ
ESFJ with developed Ne.

I'm going through the same thing myself.
 

pure_mercury

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ESFJ
That still sounds possibly NF'ish. You can be into theory for the logical aspect (which would suggest T vs F), but also, for the abstract aspect of it also (which would be N vs S), and NF's use the theory to explore people as individuals.
SFJ's seem too busy trying to take care of the down-to earth needs of people such as hosting and caretaking to stay into it for long.

I am always taking care of people, physically and emotionally.


So my wife got into temperament theory just as a step to try to build credential to become a counselor to help people. When that didn't quite work out, she moved on (and then I picked it up for the logical structure of the theory).

I really just liked personality tests, and I wanted to know more about myself and others.


I also hear that for ENFP's. That's probably just the common "Get Things Going" style.

I have sanguine, choleric, and melancholic moments often. Almost never phlegmatic, though.


No, your face is not N, but it does seem to be a very "Choleric" look. Again, I realize that could just be a face you put on just for show.
The N for your case would change the type from a Sanguine (ESF) to a Choleric (ENJ). But the Choleric could also be EST. I would have believed ESTJ for you, but you don't seem to be considering it or coming out as that on tests.

I think that face is more melacholic than choleric. Don't my eyes look a little sad and longing? Anyway, ESTJ is a definite no.


Yeah; I didn't really think those either (especially not any P type).

I guess all of that sounds like SFJ.

No, no, no; just the face.

OK.


Do you like those things just for their own sake, or do you abstract patterns and meanings from them? Like using characters as "models" of behavior patterns, by which you can get a sense of what will happen in situations where a noticed pattern seems to be repeating?

I really just like to learn. I can detect patterns within interpersonal relationships, but I am just as likely to find out things about someone just for the sake of knowing more. That makes me feel closer to others.


While Ni is often considered "future" in contrst to Si being "past", both forms of introverted perception have a memory aspect, as stored knowledge (such as history) is either referenced in concrete form, or abstracted from.

(I also happen to have a very strong nostalgic streak, and I indentify this as Si in the tertiary position).

I have nostalgia for things and people from my past, but not historical nostalgia. I am interested in learning about the past, but I wouldn't want to go back there for an extended period of time.
 

IZthe411

Carerra Lu
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Jul 19, 2009
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Are you anything like my ESFJ coworker? Some days this guy will be all over me all smiling and being nice and stuff, and the next day look right through me as if he has an attitude about something. I'm not misreading this, because I actually have been through this with him enough to know what he's doing. I don't like to think that people have attitudes and the like, but I can see this one for real. This guy's no feminine acting guy either. It's just funny to see him act like this.
 

Domino

ENFJ In Chains
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Nov 5, 2007
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eNFJ
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4w3
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sx/so
To me, in the male arena, ESFJs seem to display strong Ne, and ENFJs seem to display strong Se. When observing someone like, say, George Clooney, I think to myself how strongly "present" he feels while being immaterial. No doubt he may seem superficially S. On the other hand, watching someone like Tavis Smiley (who is ESFJ), you'd think he was almost a mind-reader. His intuition about people is very strong. You can be primarily S with a very high N, or N with a very high S.

I think what you need to ask yourself here, Merc, is whether you feel Ne or Ni intensive. Which tests as stronger or the more dominant? That's where I would start.
 

pure_mercury

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ESFJ
Are you anything like my ESFJ coworker? Some days this guy will be all over me all smiling and being nice and stuff, and the next day look right through me as if he has an attitude about something. I'm not misreading this, because I actually have been through this with him enough to know what he's doing. I don't like to think that people have attitudes and the like, but I can see this one for real. This guy's no feminine acting guy either. It's just funny to see him act like this.

I am not really moody in that regard. One of my biggest pet peeves is when people take out their bad moods on others. My dad used to do that a lot, and it was one of the few things that really got me angry with him. I take cruelty and lack of regard from others personally, though. If you had done something to hurt me or someone I care about (intentionally or through negligence), that would put me in a bad mood toward you for a while. I am fairly comfortable with conflict, though. I hate allowing things to linger and fester, so I would probably just confront you with my feelings and why exactly I was hurt.
 
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