What am I?

[Ivy]

I originally tested as INFP (this was 16, 17 years ago- I was 14). In college, I continued to test INFP.

I lost touch with MBTI for several years, and rediscovered it after having my two children, during a time when I wanted to reconnect with my husband. We bought and read Please Understand Me II and used it as a launching pad for discussions about ourselves, each other, and our relationship. At that time, I tested ISFJ.

After some time self-identifying as an ISFJ, I began to wonder whether it really fit me. I then began to self-identify as an INFJ.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not a J. Could I have been right all along, and I'm actually an INFP? Did I need the motivation of motherhood to find my true ISFJ self? Am I just a scatterbrained INFJ? Or, is it all wrong and I'm actually an ISFP or an INTP?

A note: this is all very light-hearted and slightly tongue-in-cheek, as I am no longer convinced that MBTI is useful as anything but a vocabulary and a system for describing (not prescribing) human behavior. There is too much ambivalence, subjectivity, and reliance on navel-gazing involved for me to think it's scientific, but that doesn't mean we can't use it to describe ourselves and each other.

 

[JustDave]

I originally tested as INFP (this was 16, 17 years ago- I was 14). In college, I continued to test INFP.

I lost touch with MBTI for several years, and rediscovered it after having my two children, during a time when I wanted to reconnect with my husband. We bought and read Please Understand Me II and used it as a launching pad for discussions about ourselves, each other, and our relationship. At that time, I tested ISFJ.

After some time self-identifying as an ISFJ, I began to wonder whether it really fit me. I then began to self-identify as an INFJ.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not a J. Could I have been right all along, and I'm actually an INFP? Did I need the motivation of motherhood to find my true ISFJ self? Am I just a scatterbrained INFJ? Or, is it all wrong and I'm actually an ISFP or an INTP?

A note: this is all very light-hearted and slightly tongue-in-cheek, as I am no longer convinced that MBTI is useful as anything but a vocabulary and a system for describing (not prescribing) human behavior. There is too much ambivalence, subjectivity, and reliance on navel-gazing involved for me to think it's scientific, but that doesn't mean we can't use it to describe ourselves and each other.

My guess is having children encouraged the growth of the S and J preferences. Also, IMO, the desire to connect is very NF.

Good thing you added that note! Some people take this stuff way too seriously. I find it fascinating but at the end of the day we are more than just four letter acronyms.

 

[JustDave]

I originally tested as INFP (this was 16, 17 years ago- I was 14). In college, I continued to test INFP.

I lost touch with MBTI for several years, and rediscovered it after having my two children, during a time when I wanted to reconnect with my husband. We bought and read Please Understand Me II and used it as a launching pad for discussions about ourselves, each other, and our relationship. At that time, I tested ISFJ.

After some time self-identifying as an ISFJ, I began to wonder whether it really fit me. I then began to self-identify as an INFJ.

Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not a J. Could I have been right all along, and I'm actually an INFP? Did I need the motivation of motherhood to find my true ISFJ self? Am I just a scatterbrained INFJ? Or, is it all wrong and I'm actually an ISFP or an INTP?

A note: this is all very light-hearted and slightly tongue-in-cheek, as I am no longer convinced that MBTI is useful as anything but a vocabulary and a system for describing (not prescribing) human behavior. There is too much ambivalence, subjectivity, and reliance on navel-gazing involved for me to think it's scientific, but that doesn't mean we can't use it to describe ourselves and each other.

Here's a thought. If you didn't need to maintain a structured lifestyle (J preference) would you do so anyway? It's my understanding that those with an innate J preference would.

 

[Totenkindly]

I have no real idea overall, as far as 4-letter type.

You do seem to promote closure more than the self-professed P's, though. You're very casual about it, compared to most J's, but you still naturally make decisions. I don't think it is all learned; even P's who are forced (through parenthood or whatever) to practice closure still fret a little about their decision, seem hesitant, tend to flux more about... but you are perfectly content to make decisions.

That is why I perceive you as a relaxed J, sure of herself and easily able to change her decision (as long as a direction is chosen) than as a P. You do not really seem to "get stuck on your decision" like some stereotypical J's, you simply like to have a direction chosen and change if you need to. This level of self-certainty just seems J to me.

(I watch this happen in the modbox when decisions have to be made, watching how the J's vs the P's act. The P's don't act. We clarify the situation and explore it, but have to force ourselves to commit to a course of action.)

you definitely do not torture yourself / agonize the way the typical INFP does.

 

[Randomnity]

I know an INFJ in RL who reminds me very much of what I know of you, in some ways, (very un-J-like in some ways) which leads me to think INFJ. I don't know any ISFJs for comparison.

You certainly don't seem like an INFP. FWIW, which is not much, since I know I barely even know you on the forum, let alone what you're really like in life...

 

[JustDave]

Yeah, I not sure about a J or F prefence but IMO, she's very NF. The desire to re-connect seems NF, maybe ...

 

[MerkW]

I think that you are an INFJ. Being the least common, and among the most unusual of all MBTI types, INFJs are frequently misunderstood. The Ni-Fe combo allows for the INFJ to easily see the perspective of other people. Thus, it isn't uncommon for an INFJ to relate to several other closely related types. Also INxJs are usually the least J of all J types, so it isn't uncommon for INFJs to be confused as to whether they are a J or P. INTP sounds quite improbable. If it helps, I have noticed several INFJs who seem to be rather strong in their tertiary Ti, thus occasionally giving off an IxTp appearance.

My final verdict on you type is INFJ with a relatively borderline situation on the S/N dichotomy.

 

[Athenian200]

If she's an INFJ, then I'm probably not.

I believe that I think differently from her in many ways. She seems more of an INFP to me. ISFJ isn't something I would believe because she doesn't seem like an SJ, but she almost totally lacks that Ni vibe. INFP fits her best, to me. She definitely doesn't seem like a T.

 

[substitute]

I reckon IxxJ

I think you're too balanced on both the F/T and S/N front to call either way. But definitely I and definitely J.

Either that, or ISFJ with only a very slight S and F and moderate J preferences, so your dominant Si is kinda, well, not dominant!

athenian, I've said before you never come across as INFJ to me, I just can't see it, even after reading that thread about your type, I still think you ooze ISFJ-ness.

 

[Ivy]

Why J, sub?

(If you could see my house you might reconsider! )

 

[Totenkindly]

If she's an INFJ, then I'm probably not.

You're a far more analytical INFJ, even if Ivy is INFJ. Toonia's another one with a highly developed Ti. So I would not use you as indicative of the norm of the bell curve. You also seem very esoteric, Ivy seems very down-to-earth and practical in how things are accomplished.

athenian, I've said before you never come across as INFJ to me, I just can't see it, even after reading that thread about your type, I still think you ooze ISFJ-ness.

NOT.

(but if you make me support it, I will start by saying one notable point is that Ath thinks almost entirely in abstractions and patterns. ISFJs not only don't think that way, they find themselves completely bored within a minute or two. And they speak in tangibles, usually relational ones. Ath is, like, the complete opposite in that regard.)

 

[JustDave]

Why J, sub?

(If you could see my house you might reconsider! )

I thought tidiness was more S then J.

In my case (possible ESFP), my house is very tidy but not becuase it's the right thing to do, rather because my sorroundings effect my mood. Ugly house = ugly mood.

 

[Ivy]

That's possible, JustDave. (PS, cutest. avatar. evar.)

I'm ambivalent on S/N, and P/J. Always have been. Most Ns--the ones that like me, anyway--tell me there's no way I'm an S. It often seems like that comes from an N-superior place, so I'm not sure how objective it is. And I am a procrastinator, and very indecisive (you guys see a more decisive side of me as admin here, but it's somewhat against my natural grain, if you can't tell), but I crave closure in some ways, too.

In fact the only dichotomy I'm pretty sure of is the I. My energy is most definitely inwardly-oriented. I can turn it out with some effort, but it's very tiring. I also think the idea that introverts are shy and friendless is very much off-base. I have a lot of friends, but it's important to me that they be low-maintenence so I can hermit myself when I need to. I've never been able to maintain much with people who take it personally when I don't call them up to chat. Which is not to say that I'm unfriendly or unwelcoming- I'm typically open to others' advances, I just don't make them myself most of the time.

F/T is an example of how subjective the MBTI can be. I'm, by far, the most T in my family. I married into a VERY T family, and I think I seem like a wounded deer in headlights to them sometimes.

 

[Athenian200]

F/T is an example of how subjective the MBTI can be. I'm, by far, the most T in my family. I married into a VERY T family, and I think I seem like a wounded deer in headlights to them sometimes.

That is something I wonder about too. The dichotomies are only as good as the standard/baseline you use for them. If you take a group of people who all test as the same type, there are going to be differences between them. They might all be the same type, but have different strengths within it.

I've always wondered if the definitions are precise enough, because they seem to allow too much room for interpretation.

 

[Totenkindly]

In fact the only dichotomy I'm pretty sure of is the I....

Maybe all you ever have to be is an "I".

I know one or two other women who are very similar to you... and I can't figure them out either.

Maybe you're part of an exclusive "Bonus Type!" that was never discovered by Isabelle Myers.

I also feel I should say that, despite you not being 'easily typed" in MBTI, you have a very distinct, very consistent personality that I recognized as "Ivy" and appreciate very much. Being articulatable in MBTI isn't important, in that sense of things. You're you.

I've always wondered if the definitions are precise enough, because they seem to allow too much room for interpretation.

In a descriptive personality theory sort of setting, I'm not sure how you can't leave room to interpretation. People are too complex to do more than present a generalized collection of behaviors and preferences. There are just far too many variables in life that impact behavior, for people to be that easily quantifiable.

 

[Geoff]

That's possible, JustDave. (PS, cutest. avatar. evar.)

I'm ambivalent on S/N, and P/J. Always have been. Most Ns--the ones that like me, anyway--tell me there's no way I'm an S. It often seems like that comes from an N-superior place, so I'm not sure how objective it is. And I am a procrastinator, and very indecisive (you guys see a more decisive side of me as admin here, but it's somewhat against my natural grain, if you can't tell), but I crave closure in some ways, too.

In fact the only dichotomy I'm pretty sure of is the I. My energy is most definitely inwardly-oriented. I can turn it out with some effort, but it's very tiring. I also think the idea that introverts are shy and friendless is very much off-base. I have a lot of friends, but it's important to me that they be low-maintenence so I can hermit myself when I need to. I've never been able to maintain much with people who take it personally when I don't call them up to chat. Which is not to say that I'm unfriendly or unwelcoming- I'm typically open to others' advances, I just don't make them myself most of the time.

F/T is an example of how subjective the MBTI can be. I'm, by far, the most T in my family. I married into a VERY T family, and I think I seem like a wounded deer in headlights to them sometimes.

I can't give you any reasoned basis for this.. but I know, let me see, 4 ISFJ females extremely well, two of them are very clever (one a teacher, one a lawyer) and you are *just* like them, from what I can see.

Are the people refusing to accept that you are not an N, playing the N=intelligence card?

-Geoff

 

[substitute]

Why J, sub?

(If you could see my house you might reconsider! )

Same reason Jennifer said. You're pretty good, confident and seem to have an easy time making decisions. You might not seem as J as some uber J's, but if I imagine a room full of P's and you, I can imagine the topic of discussion would only reach its intended aim if it was subject to constant, yet gentle coaxing from you!

If people saw my house, they'd reconsider me being a P! That don't say nothin'!

 

[JustDave]

Substitute,

Given your avatar I'm guessing your a Star Trek fan. I work in the IT field which (i'm guessing) is dominated by NTs. All of my coworkers are big Star Trek fans yet despite my best efforts to watch the show and i appreciate it i just don't get it.

So, could this be an SP vs. NT difference?

Sorry to put you on the spot ...

 

[runvardh]

Substitute,

Given your avatar I'm guessing your a Star Trek fan. I work in the IT field which (i'm guessing) is dominated by NTs. All of my coworkers are big Star Trek fans yet despite my best efforts to watch the show and i appreciate it i just don't get it.

So, could this be an SP vs. NT difference?

Sorry to put you on the spot ...

I know a few NFs who are into it, as well as some (I'm assuming) STs.

 

[JustDave]

I know a few NFs who are into it, as well as some (I'm assuming) STs.

Hmm ... it's probably just me then. The whole thing just seems so goofy