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Thread: ENFJ vs ESFJ

  1. #1
    Senior Member girlnamedbless's Avatar
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    Default The main differences between ENFJ and ESFJ

    Okay, now I'm confused. I mean, I've always tested as an "S" whenever I take these tests.. but it's usually about 53% S. Maybe it's the questions.. most of the online tests ask if I like theories and wonder about humanity. I don't, but does that automatically make me an S?
    I can read both the ENFJ and ESFJ profiles and see how they both fit me.
    ESFJ: like tradition, structure, and people
    ENFJ: avoid problems, and center their lives around relationships, and have good communication skills.
    These are the main points that fit me. So I ask all of you to answer: What are the main differences between an ENFJ and ESFJ?
    As I stated they both really like people.. and I agree that I am a people person. However, I KNOW how to get someone to do what I want.. at the same time, I do avoid problems in relationships (ENFJ). My mom always jokes around about me being a lawyer because I know how to persuade people. However, I still value structure and security as much as the next SJ. Is it possible to be a true "X" (be 50/50 on the S/N) or do I still prefer one?
    Thanks in advance for your input.
    I bet they'll put something in the air tonight, just to light your face.

  2. #2
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    My personal tentative test for ENFJ/ESFJ is very vibe-oriented and has to do with whether I feel like the EFJ 'sees through' people or not. It's very much in the eyes; the two ENFJs I know well (one male, one female) both look at people like they're seeing something that's deep underneath the surface whereas the ESFJs I know (quite a few) don't have that look of extraordinary perception. They're smooth, but they don't have the ENFJ advantage (or disadvantage when Ni is off) of reading unstated feelings and motivations into the subtlest of behavioral clues.

    I'm whether that's helpful to you or not but it's all I've got apart from armchair theorizing.

  3. #3
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    One major difference is that ESFJs tend to be more more practical than ENFJs.
    ESFJs like to get things done, ENFJs focus more on seeing others actualize and have a little more flex.

    So, for a specific example, homeschooling moms who are ESFJ are very much into accomplishing concrete tasks, having tangible things to show, knowing exactly what the kids are being taught, making sure everything adheres to the plan, etc., more likely to focus the "proper" way to do school and discipline.

    Homeschooling moms who are ENFJ tend to be more relaxed, go-with-the-flow, and are responding to the intangibles of the child and what is being learned. They might not adhere to schedule so much because of this and cannot delineate as clearly what the child has learned... but the goal is the "inner formation" of the child, which is not as easily testable.

    I think ENFJs are a little more likely to get "floozy" or esoteric; ESFJs are so anchored in the real world that they really do accomplish a lot. But obviously the background of the ENFJ in question can really get them anchored in the "real world" too... and an ESFJ who grew up without practical structure or a good family can be very scattered or undisciplined.

    And yes, the ENFJ is much more likely to operate off vibes and implications; the ESFJ is much more likely to respond to exactly what people say and do.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  4. #4
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    Would you have done this?

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    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Well if you believe in that whole ordered function thingy...

    ESFJ = Fe, Si, Ne, Ti

    Si -- Introverted Sensing. Very routine, habitual, and boring. It's based on a desire to do things the way they've always been done... day after day, year after year, century after century. Obviously, people with this function dislike change. They accept things without question, and preserve what's familiar, and often try to align things with their internal idea of what things are supposed to be like, garnered from early experiences. But the plus side is, they have good memories, and are very organized and conscientious people. If you want something done a certain way with no questions asked, they are your best resource.
    ENFJ = Fe, Ni, Se, Ti

    Ni -- Introverted Intuition (not Nickel, which I know is what you thought). Allows you to see ideas from different perspectives, as well as have unusual insights or hunches that are often useful. And for the last time, it does NOT make you psychic (normally).

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    Senior Member chatoyer's Avatar
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    Unhappy N bias

    I protest the use of that Si definition, that has the worst N negative spin! I know there are some more neutral definitions of Si, like this one: Introverted Sensing

  7. #7
    Dhampyr Economica's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    I protest the use of that Si definition, that has the worst N negative spin!
    I agree; I know this is off-topic, but shouldn't all the definitions in our FAQ be equally negative/satirical? (I know I sanctioned them. I'm afraid I was skim reading. :blushing

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chatoyer View Post
    I protest the use of that Si definition, that has the worst N negative spin!
    *coyly* But what if someone enjoys being called predictable, boring, and insufferably punctual?

    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    I agree; I know this is off-topic, but shouldn't all the definitions in our FAQ be equally negative/satirical? (I know I sanctioned them. I'm afraid I was skim reading. :blushing
    Oh, fu....dge!!!!

    Sigh. Yes, we'll have to review them, to make sure they all receive equal treatment. I remember being "out to lunch" when that list went up, focused on real life for a bit, so I did not really examine it closely.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Economica View Post
    I agree; I know this is off-topic, but shouldn't all the definitions in our FAQ be equally negative/satirical? (I know I sanctioned them. I'm afraid I was skim reading. :blushing
    I noticed that when they were first approved, but I guess I was too apathetic to complain. Probably mostly because I didn't think the list would be something that people would actually seriously refer to, rather more of a satirical type-mocking. It clearly reflects the biases of the user who posted them, rather than being as objective as they could (idealistically) be. Realistically I guess that will almost always be the case, though.

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    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Randomnity View Post
    Probably mostly because I didn't think the list would be something that people would actually seriously refer to...


    I could sense the bias but I was too lazy to come up with my own descriptions or search for other ones...so meh.

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