You actually sound a lot like Descartes at the beginning of his meditations :P However, there IS no sturdy foundation, there is no such thing as "solid knowledge". Haphazard guesswork is all we get to do as mere humans
Aw hell nah. I'm not trying to SUSPEND any beliefs [about me] on the grounds of doubt, I want to plow through them and understand NAO because of doubt. Plus, my brainz are not being eaten by evil daemonz; I know dis much.
Um, okay. The only way that's useful is keeping it as a mental disclaimer in the back of my mind when trying to figure out anything, else, the futility troll will incessantly poke me in the eyeball with a stick whenever I analyze anything. I'm looking for exactness, and there is no exactness. Yeah, okay. But meh.
That's the problem. You can't construct a durable building on a shaky foundation. You may try, but place something slightly off, and it all comes crashing down. I don't have any blueprints to work from.
In order to begin, to have a beginning, to have anything at ALL, I need to know HOW I think. What I think isn't relevant (at least I don't think so.)I've realized that I lack the ability to honestly look at myself without unconsciously injecting little bits of what I want to be during the process. The result, then, ends up looking like a dramatic overcompensation (just look at this OP...) when all I'm trying to do is weed out my own biases. Because of this, my analysis, however honest I've tried to be, seems so far-removed from me that I can't completely assimilate it, adopt it, use it, identify with, and understand it as something personal and OF me. It feels like "other," if that makes any sense at all. I guess I don't know how to be personal with myself.
What do you consider these posts so far? Are these not thoughts? Did you not form these thoughts in a certain way to convey a certain meaning? If you did then you used a perception and made a judgement on each word you typed. This is enough to start with when typing how you think and perhaps this the best way.
My first thought when I read your first two posts in this thread was, "must be an INTP."
MBTI is based on cognitive functions. Even a person who doesn't display much personality is going to take in information and either stew on it or emote about it, even if they don't show it outwardly. Unless a person is unconscious, there's going to be taking in, processing and acting on information -- and that's what the "types" are identifying.
The only letter-- if I absolutely had to make a decision about with any confidence-- would be "P." I've never been good with planning, scheduling, making decisions, and I'm habitually 5 minutes late to everything, procrastinate my way through life, and live in filthy chaos. I think it's interesting that you see a "J." Is it because I want to make a decision about my type--to "pin it down" so-to-speak? Or is it just that you see NiFe--that happens correlate with INFJness?
I doubt I'm a "T." The fact that I don't have any discernible values, don't place much if any importance on relationships, nor have any desire to "help" people in any way, throws me for a loop, however, and makes it difficult to see myself in any xxFx description. (Or maybe it's just that I'm really self-absorbed?) BUT, I DO realize that T =/= a lacking of these things. Maybe I've somehow learned not to value them for some reason, or I've just ignored the fact that I have feelings for so long that I don't know how to understand them, or even recognize them (especially if you're seeing Fe.)
Yes, these posts are evidence of "thoughts"-- even if they're stupid ones. The problem is they're reactionary. I can't do it myself. I don't have a personality when I'm alone--which is 99% of the time. And when I'm not alone, my "personality" is entirely dependent upon that/those of the company I'm with. If they're friendly, I'll be friendly. If they're serious, I'm serious. Perhaps that's just a lack of integrity or authenticity on my part, but it certainly doesn't serve to simplify the matter any.
Thank you all for your patience with me. I appreciate it.