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  1. #1
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Default Will someone please type me?

    I used to type as ENFP all of the time. But I feel as though I've lost the idealist in me. (Blame it on years of romantic let down perhaps?) Maybe I am depressed. Jaded. Bitter. Disenchanted. Anyway, before I was on a mission to make myself well rounded. To balance myself as much as possible. Maybe my supposed identity crisis is a product of that. My friend thinks I'm not really ENFP. But then I would have no clue what I was, really. I think I'm too highstrung and not laid back enough to be an ENTP. I think I am too messy and scattered to be an ENFJ. Or maybe I am none of these whatsoever.

    I'm really not sure what to mention about myself. The only constant my entire life has been my messiness. You should seriously see my living quarters. Embarassing. I have lots of crap I can't seem to part with for sentimental reasons. I attach memories to lots of things. No, I'm not a hoarder. Sometimes it looks as though I have A.D.D. But there wasn't enough evidence for my doctor. Though he did say I have OCD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. OCD makes me second guess everything and makes me anxious, which causes me to overanalyze. GAD supposedly makes me appear like I have a lack of focus. (A.D.D. symptoms) Anyway so far...so we have messy, overanalytical, anxious, lack of focus.

    Growing up, I did well in school, until I hit high school. I didn't wish to be around "those people." I often stared out windows and wished I was elsewhere. So my grades slipped. Didn't really read much. But I liked and wrote poetry, was dreamery, wanted adventure and romance, was totally NF-ish. I am also into symbolism hardcore. I've had an interest in the paranormal my whole life, and I believe I am quite sensitive to things. As weird as that might sound.

    In my 20s, I pretty much hopped from relationship to relationship. They just seemed to find me. The whole time it sickened me because I had never wanted to have to love more than one person. But I've always valued personal relationships over success. Always. I also hopped from job to job. But I never really focused on me. Because I didn't know how and was uneducated perhaps? Or because it took too much '"J?"

    My INTP boyfriend taught me a thing or two about efficiency and direction. He pretty much changed my life, making me think about "T" things and myself a bit more. I am forever grateful to him. Now, at 31, I am a non-traditional student. I got my ass in gear, paid off debts, put myself back into college for anthropology. Hell, I just love learning, I wanted to indulge my "T" and it doesn't matter to me what I do with my degree as long as I can make the world a bit better. (I figure any money I make afterwards is better than the money I make now.) I've made the Dean's list all times except for the last because I let some man interfere with my life. Drama makes me fall a part, as do demanding people. Anyway, it's a bit sad to me that the life I wanted (relationship wise) didn't seem to work out...that I am destined to be some loveless career girl with no kids. So another reason why I enrolled in college again, was so that I could make a sufficient amount not to rely on any man.

    So I've found myself becoming more autonomous, more thinking, more focused on myself. Sometimes, I even think people think I'm a self-righteous bitch who is cold and caring only about herself. Um...sometimes. But what the hell is wrong with that? And I only may sound self righteous when I'm dealing with complete morons who I have to correct. I do make judgements about people. I could be totally correct in my judgements. But then I realize it's never black and white. It's always gray. Then I feel guilty and like complete crap. Then I start empathizing with them. And then I start to kind of like them because I feel sorry for them.



    Annnway...I think I could be a bit depressed. Cause sometimes I am evil. Regardless, I do have a twisted sense of humor. I can no longer relate to cute, cuddly ENFP. Maybe because I'm older? Sometimes it makes me want to punch a kitten in the face with a sword. Just kidding. But you get the picture.

    Anyway, sorry if I shared too much or not enough in some aspects. Feel free to ask me anything. I'm a very open person for the most part. I just feel like I'm having an identity crisis. (Someone actually told me they thought I was.)

  2. #2
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Default

    I also would like to add that I've always been silly and weird. But it seems to have been overthrown by twistedness. However, I'm sure plenty of people still think I'm weird.

  3. #3
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    Yeah, MafiaAngel, you're definitely still an ENFP. Your Ti function may be a lot more developed now because of your latest relationship thing and your relationship with your INTP, but I think you're still the same personality. My understanding is that personality doesn't really change - we just learn to develop certain functions a bit better as we experience more, I think. And besides, this all means that you are closer to your past goal of becoming more balanced, right?

    It just seems like you're going through a tough time. Maybe writing this all out helped you feel better?

    Hang in there.

  4. #4
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Not sure if this helps, but in Jungian terms you'd be considered more of an INFP. You are beginning to raise yourself above external objects, making yourself more important, I'm not exactly sure how that effects cognitive processes, but I imagine an attitude like this requires your Fi to be at the forefront. This is what I got from it though, you may be right in the fact that you're just in a rut. I'm fighting one right now as we speak. God's speed, my friend!

  5. #5
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Fs tend to develop their T function in their 30s and vice versa.
    Regardless, typing yourself when you're depressed/unhappy/in flux is not the best idea, but I've never doubted your ENFPness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  6. #6
    i love skylights's Avatar
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    hi

    you sound ENFP to me too.

    don't feel bad about losing the ideals. if you're ENFP, sometimes Ne is gonna take over, especially when you start engaging Te more, which living with an INTP is likely to do. not that we shouldn't protect Fi, just that it happens. it's life. it's how we are. it's not that you've betrayed yourself at all, you just need some time to recenter. it sounds like you're well on your way to making an awesome future for yourself.

    i have what's tantamount to GAD too - never been diagnosed properly, but i've got a psychiatrist in the family and she says it pretty much is, based on what i've told her. used to have panic attacks and whatnot. it looked like ADD in high school, except it was based on fear and self-consciousness, till i pulled myself together in college. not that i don't still procrastinate, lol. this - "messy, overanalytical, anxious, lack of focus" - i am all of this, too.

    anyway, i think it's awesome that you're taking charge of things and becoming self-sufficient. i've learned over time that it's natural for me not to focus on myself, and i've gotta overcome that too if i'm going to be of use to anyone else, or in the external world in general. it just sounds like your Fi is rebelling a bit.

    is there a way you can get back on track with your ideals and still concentrate on yourself? maybe it would be helpful to refine them - take a while thinking about them. do a little spiritual probing in your spare time, you know?

    oh, and i have a twisted sense of humor too. remember, we're only one function away from being NT

  7. #7
    Senior Member MafiaAngel180's Avatar
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    Hey guys, so sorry for my late response. I've definitely had my plate full, and I wanted to comment on all of you individually.


    Quote Originally Posted by SecondBest View Post
    Yeah, MafiaAngel, you're definitely still an ENFP. Your Ti function may be a lot more developed now because of your latest relationship thing and your relationship with your INTP, but I think you're still the same personality. My understanding is that personality doesn't really change - we just learn to develop certain functions a bit better as we experience more, I think. And besides, this all means that you are closer to your past goal of becoming more balanced, right?

    It just seems like you're going through a tough time. Maybe writing this all out helped you feel better?

    Hang in there.
    Thanks! I am definitely trying to hang in there. And I definitely think I am becoming more balanced thanks to my experiences.

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    Not sure if this helps, but in Jungian terms you'd be considered more of an INFP. You are beginning to raise yourself above external objects, making yourself more important, I'm not exactly sure how that effects cognitive processes, but I imagine an attitude like this requires your Fi to be at the forefront. This is what I got from it though, you may be right in the fact that you're just in a rut. I'm fighting one right now as we speak. God's speed, my friend!
    Thank you! Hopefully you get yoursellf out of your rut too! But I do see how I could be acting INFP-ish. I have been way more introverted lately. I notice at school, when I am there for long periods, I like to hang out in quiet areas where no one else is. I'm just super drained, I think.


    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Fs tend to develop their T function in their 30s and vice versa.
    Regardless, typing yourself when you're depressed/unhappy/in flux is not the best idea, but I've never doubted your ENFPness.
    Hey thanks Morgan! I will definitely try typing myself when things go a bit better for me!

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    hi

    you sound ENFP to me too.

    don't feel bad about losing the ideals. if you're ENFP, sometimes Ne is gonna take over, especially when you start engaging Te more, which living with an INTP is likely to do. not that we shouldn't protect Fi, just that it happens. it's life. it's how we are. it's not that you've betrayed yourself at all, you just need some time to recenter. it sounds like you're well on your way to making an awesome future for yourself.

    i have what's tantamount to GAD too - never been diagnosed properly, but i've got a psychiatrist in the family and she says it pretty much is, based on what i've told her. used to have panic attacks and whatnot. it looked like ADD in high school, except it was based on fear and self-consciousness, till i pulled myself together in college. not that i don't still procrastinate, lol. this - "messy, overanalytical, anxious, lack of focus" - i am all of this, too.

    anyway, i think it's awesome that you're taking charge of things and becoming self-sufficient. i've learned over time that it's natural for me not to focus on myself, and i've gotta overcome that too if i'm going to be of use to anyone else, or in the external world in general. it just sounds like your Fi is rebelling a bit.

    is there a way you can get back on track with your ideals and still concentrate on yourself? maybe it would be helpful to refine them - take a while thinking about them. do a little spiritual probing in your spare time, you know?

    oh, and i have a twisted sense of humor too. remember, we're only one function away from being NT
    Hehehe, we definitely seem similar, that's for sure! I think you are right...I have to get in touch with my ideals. I really lost sight of them. Or rather, I just stopped thinking about them. However, I know I have them, because I was talking to an ENTP...and after college he plans to take a job working for the local gas drilling. Funny, because I'm in school and trying to think of a way of how to get the gas drilling to stop. And this does not mesh at all with my ideals. Fucking sell outs.


    There's no doubt about it, I have definitely been changing big time. For the better. But once things start to settle down in my life, I will retype and see what all it has to say. Thanks for your input guys!!

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