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  1. #21
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Halla74 View Post
    I don't like the bolded part. Keep an eye out for further evidence to substantiate or refute that statement. Falling in love with an emotionally unavailable person is a sure recipe for heartbreak. Just sayin.



    (1) Have him take an online MBTI test and stop guessing his type. His MBTI type doesn't matter half as much as getting him to sit down in front of a computer.

    Thomson-Maidenbaum Personality Inventory

    (2) When he's clicked the submit button and tells you his type, walk up to him and say "ABCD's are supposed to be good kissers..." and plant one on him.

    (3) If good kisser = keep after him.
    If bad kisser = keep moving, find a new guy.
    hahaha...all good advice.

    I agree that "I'm too self-absorbed to be in a relationship" is not really what you want to be hearing. It could either mean he's trying to warn me off, or that yeah, he is emotionally unavailable. I'm kind of hoping it's just the fact that he was telling me about a relationship that he felt he personally had made a mess of (he said "it was my fault", to which I said "it's not usually entirely one person's fault") and it was one-thirty in the morning and we'd consumed a couple of drinks and were getting a little maudlin.

    He has just gone off on another trip for a couple of weeks but I am going to see if I can get him to take me out on his motorbike when he's back. If we don't get killed, it seems like there might be some potential there.
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  2. #22
    Yeah, I can fly. Aleksei's Avatar
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    Definite INTJ.

    And, follow halla's advice. It's gold.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Teacher (Idyllic), ESE-IEI (Si-ESFj), SLue|I|, Sanguine-Melancholy
    Sage, True Neutral (Chaotic Good), Type III Anti-Hero
    Inventive > Artistic > Leisurely > Dramatic
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    Dark Worker (Sacrificing)
    Freewheeling Designer

    Hayekian Asshole


  3. #23
    Senior Member ubee0173's Avatar
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    i would go with e(traveling, enjoys company of people, but not necessarily extreme closeness) N(feeling responsible for the welfare of other people)..something something? i totally want to type him as an enfp because you totally described a slightly more mature (responsible) version of myself- but then again, i KNOW this guy (not personally, probably, but i have known about 3 of him )! and while i have had some amazing (like CRAZY awesome)times with this sort of person, we both generally came to an agreement that it was what it was and our efforts would be best spent doing what we do best, leading me to believe that this type is not identical to my typing. but, we were both feeding off each others energy and literally stayed up for 3 days straight- no drugs, just mutual extroversion- and that could get destructive. but you, lucky lady, are an introvert! you might be a good counterweight for this guy, but only if he wants that counterweight. he sounds pretty flighty, and these types dread being stuck. i say go for it, but dont expect permanence. totally have your "date-cation", but be prepared to let him go. doesnt mean his feelings have diminished, just that the timer has gone off on this round. you might think you want more from him right now, but the next time you two are in the same location, just pick up where you left off. it will never be typical, but it will be very special. for both of you. a word of caution, though- make sure you have someone willing to pick your happy ass up at the airport at 3 a.m. after you extreme road-trip to god-knows-where and he informs you he is now leaving for his mountain-hiking or some shit. darn you, now im all recanting my that-guy funtime and im a married lady . im excited for you- if it feels right at the time, it is right- at the time. even if it ends in chaos it will be amazing. promise.
    I will buy you a drink and I'll tell you what I think, and tomorrow, in the morning, I won't be sorry that I didn't sleep.


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #24
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I'm going with ISTJ also.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #25
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ubee0173 View Post
    i would go with e(traveling, enjoys company of people, but not necessarily extreme closeness) N(feeling responsible for the welfare of other people)..something something? i totally want to type him as an enfp because you totally described a slightly more mature (responsible) version of myself- but then again, i KNOW this guy (not personally, probably, but i have known about 3 of him )! and while i have had some amazing (like CRAZY awesome)times with this sort of person, we both generally came to an agreement that it was what it was and our efforts would be best spent doing what we do best, leading me to believe that this type is not identical to my typing. but, we were both feeding off each others energy and literally stayed up for 3 days straight- no drugs, just mutual extroversion- and that could get destructive. but you, lucky lady, are an introvert! you might be a good counterweight for this guy, but only if he wants that counterweight. he sounds pretty flighty, and these types dread being stuck. i say go for it, but dont expect permanence. totally have your "date-cation", but be prepared to let him go. doesnt mean his feelings have diminished, just that the timer has gone off on this round. you might think you want more from him right now, but the next time you two are in the same location, just pick up where you left off. it will never be typical, but it will be very special. for both of you. a word of caution, though- make sure you have someone willing to pick your happy ass up at the airport at 3 a.m. after you extreme road-trip to god-knows-where and he informs you he is now leaving for his mountain-hiking or some shit. darn you, now im all recanting my that-guy funtime and im a married lady . im excited for you- if it feels right at the time, it is right- at the time. even if it ends in chaos it will be amazing. promise.
    What the...!

  6. #26
    Senior Member ubee0173's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    What the...!
    what the what??? shes gonna have a blast!
    I will buy you a drink and I'll tell you what I think, and tomorrow, in the morning, I won't be sorry that I didn't sleep.


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #27
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ubee0173 View Post
    what the what??? shes gonna have a blast!
    I'm just in awe of your post. It's a mindfuck of a post. Kudos to you lol

  8. #28
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ubee0173 View Post
    i would go with e(traveling, enjoys company of people, but not necessarily extreme closeness) N(feeling responsible for the welfare of other people)..something something? i totally want to type him as an enfp because you totally described a slightly more mature (responsible) version of myself- but then again, i KNOW this guy (not personally, probably, but i have known about 3 of him )! and while i have had some amazing (like CRAZY awesome)times with this sort of person, we both generally came to an agreement that it was what it was and our efforts would be best spent doing what we do best, leading me to believe that this type is not identical to my typing. but, we were both feeding off each others energy and literally stayed up for 3 days straight- no drugs, just mutual extroversion- and that could get destructive. but you, lucky lady, are an introvert! you might be a good counterweight for this guy, but only if he wants that counterweight. he sounds pretty flighty, and these types dread being stuck. i say go for it, but dont expect permanence. totally have your "date-cation", but be prepared to let him go. doesnt mean his feelings have diminished, just that the timer has gone off on this round. you might think you want more from him right now, but the next time you two are in the same location, just pick up where you left off. it will never be typical, but it will be very special. for both of you. a word of caution, though- make sure you have someone willing to pick your happy ass up at the airport at 3 a.m. after you extreme road-trip to god-knows-where and he informs you he is now leaving for his mountain-hiking or some shit. darn you, now im all recanting my that-guy funtime and im a married lady . im excited for you- if it feels right at the time, it is right- at the time. even if it ends in chaos it will be amazing. promise.
    Hehe. Thanks. Well, to be honest, while your scenario sounds exciting, it also terrifies me. I don't think I can do the "date-cation" thing. Relationships are something I take too seriously and I'm too easily wounded in that department. See my MBTI type. I also have some doubts as to whether he is really like the guys you have known. Certainly before going on hols with him I thought he was the opposite of flighty. I had thought we'd probably have some great conversations but I did not think we'd laugh so much or, frankly, drink so much. But I suspect he's more like, hyper-responsible a lot of the time and then cuts loose a bit on holiday (based on some other holiday stories he told me that kind of makes sense.) Although, while he described himself to me as having a strong responsible streak, when I said "you seem to put yourself out for others an awful lot" he said "noooo...my mom tells me I'm just too nice, I think that's it actually" (ie people ask him for favours and he finds it hard to say no.) I think we did bring out the crazy in each other to a certain extent, which was a pleasant surprise. But flighty, I still don't really think so. Or he's curbed it. He did a lot of crazy things in his younger years (a lot of drugs) but told me it was mostly in aid of finding the meaning of life and from what I know of him that actually makes sense. Going off on another holiday immediately after finishing one probably sounds flighty but actually he's in Italy visiting family and it was just a timing thing, so... I may be building castles in the air here but I have to say that the combination of very responsible AND also bohemian/rock n roll is a massive turn-on for me

    As for the motorbike, he told me he only uses it a couple of times a year these days. I suggested the next best time might be to take me out on it. (The motorbike is also a deep dark secret from most people of his acquaintanceship. Including his elderly mom. I only know because our mutual friend spilled the beans to me. The other guy we were on hols with is his best friend and apparently doesn't even know. I totally missed this but he later told me that at some point early in the holiday motorbikes had come up in conversation and he was giving me the evil eye because he was afraid I was going to mention it...)

    I think INTJ still makes most sense. I just think he has developed extroversion fairly well, but the conversations I had with him, he made me feel like I was an extrovert (because I have a large circle of friends/acquaintances in this city.) The romantic side took me by surprise though. Though based on what I know of INTJ it does make sense, actually.
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  9. #29
    Senior Member ubee0173's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    Hehe. Thanks. Well, to be honest, while your scenario sounds exciting, it also terrifies me. I don't think I can do the "date-cation" thing. Relationships are something I take too seriously and I'm too easily wounded in that department. See my MBTI type. I also have some doubts as to whether he is really like the guys you have known. Certainly before going on hols with him I thought he was the opposite of flighty. I had thought we'd probably have some great conversations but I did not think we'd laugh so much or, frankly, drink so much. But I suspect he's more like, hyper-responsible a lot of the time and then cuts loose a bit on holiday (based on some other holiday stories he told me that kind of makes sense.) Although, while he described himself to me as having a strong responsible streak, when I said "you seem to put yourself out for others an awful lot" he said "noooo...my mom tells me I'm just too nice, I think that's it actually" (ie people ask him for favours and he finds it hard to say no.) I think we did bring out the crazy in each other to a certain extent, which was a pleasant surprise. But flighty, I still don't really think so. Or he's curbed it. He did a lot of crazy things in his younger years (a lot of drugs) but told me it was mostly in aid of finding the meaning of life and from what I know of him that actually makes sense. Going off on another holiday immediately after finishing one probably sounds flighty but actually he's in Italy visiting family and it was just a timing thing, so... I may be building castles in the air here but I have to say that the combination of very responsible AND also bohemian/rock n roll is a massive turn-on for me

    As for the motorbike, he told me he only uses it a couple of times a year these days. I suggested the next best time might be to take me out on it. (The motorbike is also a deep dark secret from most people of his acquaintanceship. Including his elderly mom. I only know because our mutual friend spilled the beans to me. The other guy we were on hols with is his best friend and apparently doesn't even know. I totally missed this but he later told me that at some point early in the holiday motorbikes had come up in conversation and he was giving me the evil eye because he was afraid I was going to mention it...)

    I think INTJ still makes most sense. I just think he has developed extroversion fairly well, but the conversations I had with him, he made me feel like I was an extrovert (because I have a large circle of friends/acquaintances in this city.) The romantic side took me by surprise though. Though based on what I know of INTJ it does make sense, actually.
    some people are just the AMAZING type. always surprising and hard to peg- one of a kind. god damn, your going to make me have a crush on this guy !
    I will buy you a drink and I'll tell you what I think, and tomorrow, in the morning, I won't be sorry that I didn't sleep.


    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #30
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ubee0173 View Post
    some people are just the AMAZING type. always surprising and hard to peg- one of a kind. god damn, your going to make me have a crush on this guy !
    Yeah...I should just concentrate on the amazing part, and my next move...
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