I'm BORED. =D
So I typed all this shit out.
Not to say I'm expecting any kind of response, but it got into my head the other day that a few people have told me I'm not ESTP before and I'm curious as to what opinions you guys might gather from me describing myself. Just as a eh-what-the-hell sort of thing.
I hope you enjoy my narcisissm spooge.
If I'm speaking to someone whose feelings I don't particularly care one way or another avout, I will sometimes say something caustic just to see what a person's reaction will be. This is especially true if I amu nlikely to ever see this person again. I have a very shock-value sense of humor in those situations. Otherwise, my sense of humor is rather twisted and full of references to my favorite books or movies. It can be pretty obscure sometimes - I'm used to people not laughing at my jokes because they don't know WTF I'm talking about.
I don't like it when a person asks my advice, has lengthly, emotionally-charged conversations over what they should do...aaaand then proceeds to completely ignore everything I had just told them and does whatever the hell he or she wants to do anyway. I feel like they just wasted several hours or my time I could have spent doing something that I actually enjoy, like researching obsecure folklore or talking to my people. I am not your freaking sounding board. If you want someone to talk to about your feelings. get a therapist. If you come to me, I expect that you are seeking an actual solution instead of just wanting someone to impotently whine at.
I get bored easily. Like, very easily. I'm the kind of person who bounces my leg and drums my fingers if I have to sit for long doing nothing. Nothing means having to sit and politely listen to a boring conversation because it would offend if I just got up and walked away, going shopping with someone when there are things at home I'd rather be doing, etc. The internet is cool because there is tons of information for me to explore and it keeps my mentally buzzing.
My idea of a good time typically revolves around connecting with the few people I genuinely consider friends, whether that means going to a bar or sitting around talking about stupid stuff and playing card games.
If I'm bored and have nothing to physically keep me entertained I'll drift off into la-la land and think about random crap. Like, I wonder if there was human civilization before and they got so technologically advanced and corrupted that they destroyed themselves? Or, do people notice the distinctive way they walk?, or do they just amble along putting one foot in front of the other without noticing the patterns of their footfalls? Do cats project their thoughts onto us in the same way we transpose our thoughts onto them ("Dude, that cat right now, he's like, wtf, you're crazy bitch.'") because they don't understand us just as much as we don't understand them? Why do humans have so many naturally occuring genetic abnormalities when compared to the other animals on the planet -- did aliens came here thousands or millions of years ago and tampere with our genetics only to fuck up massively and say "shit, my bad" and just ditch the whole project? Are WE the aliens!?
^ Thus is my rambling stream of consciousness as I stare vapidly into space.
I may be easily bored, but I'm also easily amused. I get excited about things. Like, ridiculously excited. Like, I will scream and squeal, LOUDLY, and it happens over the littlest things. You should see me when I play board games. My newest thing is thrusting my fists into the air and proclaiming "YATA!!!!!!"
I'm not so competitive that I'll turn into an asshole when I'm playing any kind of comeptitive game against someone, but if I lose ALL THE TIME I will get grumpy and refuse to play with you anymore. Come on, I want at least a fair shot at winning SOMEtimes. There's no point in playing if there isn't SOME hope of me winning.
I always have a plan A, B, C; a plan C and D and E for plan B; a plan D and E and F for plan C, etc. My thoughts spiderweb outwards and the web constantly updates itself as I get new information. However, this is not a natural state of being, it's something I have to turn it on, so to speak. If I had to think ahead like that all the time, I think I'd become paranoid. It should be noted, however, that when I do turn my spidey-sense on (heh heh, get it, web, spidey -- oh nevermind), it's rare that the outcomes I forecast are incorrect.
I like who I like and I don't like who I don't like. The majority of people, I don't feel one way or another about, I just don't care. I've never understood the idea of group-prejudices, racial or otherwise, becaues hating a group that much just seems silly -- how can you hate them all if you don't know them all enough to have reasons to hate them? One or two people, bah, they're just the cast-off assholes that happened to piss in your cereal, smack them away and move on. People just aren't important enough for me to get all indignant about all the time. I have better things to do.
To say that I'm a people-person would be a bit of an overstatement. I'm good with people. I definitely know how to respond to them to keep things pleasant and happy. But, I don't like people as a whole. I've worked in retail too long to have much respect for humanity in general. I've seen how stupid the general population is. :P I'm polite and friendly, but people shouldn't make the mistake of assuming friendly behavior means I'm your friend. Being nice just makes life easier. I will stay neutral about a person until they give me a reason to like or dislike them.
But, if I do find someone I connect with, I am like, GLOM. I am on you like glue. You'll never have a better friend than me. I'm the kind of friend that takes care of abusive boyfriends and helps you hide bodies. :P ...maybe even in that order.
I have my own opinions and beliefs that I have superglued to the floor and then cemented over. Anyone who asks me to compromise on what I hold most important to me in life is not someone who will be in my life for long. I've doorslammed many people in my life because I am not so desperate to have friends that I feel the need to surround myself with people I secretly despise. That is not a normal or healthy way for a person to live and I refuse to go along with other peoples expectations of me just because their TVs and mommies (whom are one in the same in some sad case) tell them life should be a certain way.
Contrary to what it might sound like, I am very good at putting myself in someone else's shoes and seeing a situation from their perspective. I think my ability to channel another person's point of view (I suppose you'd call it empathy, though I personally dislike the word) is what makes me so naturally adept at animal care. I ran a cat rescue out of my cat for most of my childhood and teenage life. I've been able to get abused horribly traumatized animals to eat out of my hand or curl up in my lap within minutes or hours of knowing me, to the stunned surprise of the people looking after them. In many ways, I like animals more than I do people.
Not to say that I don't feel for people. A good friend recently told me about somehting truly awful that happened in her past and I found myself all choked up because I could just imagine how awful it was for her to go through that. We both needed a hug afterward.
I am a rules person. I love rules -- because once I know the rules, I can figure out how to work around them or make them
less retardedbetter. I get irritated at people who break the rules not because They're The Rules And Should Be Followed, but because if I NOTICE you're doing it, then you're doing it wrong. I hate sloppy dishonesty. It pisses me off and I take it personally when it's directed at me. It's like the person is assuming I'm so stupid that they'll actually get away with trying to play me. If you're going to do it, at least do it right.
I am a slob. Clothes on the floor, dirty dishes in the sink, particles on the carpeted floor, slob. I hate taking care of that sort of stuff and will do it only if things have become so unbearable that I feel crappy if someone came over and looked at it. I am very meticulous about specific things, though. When I write, I will rework sections as I go until I think they're perfect, then I'll wait a week or a month or whatever and re-read it again and re-write it again as I spot things that could be better. I'm pretty good at original writing, though I encounter constant mental blocks and I have to stop thinking about it in order to move forwrad (if I over-think something creative I'll just make myself anxious and nothing will get done), but when I really excel at is taking something and making it better.
Also, when I write, I tend to just keep going and going as my brain generates new shit to say. Have you noticed?
Ok I think that's enough spooge for now.