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  1. #1
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Default INTP or INFP female ?

    So I brought my son to a public video gaming/computer place yesterday, and I'm sitting at one of the computers minding my own business - getting caught up on MBTIc postings - when this woman comes and introduces herself to me. She is the mother of a boy who my son has been developing a new friendship with at this video place and they get along great together.

    "Oh I'm so glad I get to meet you! My son talks about your son all the time!" She proceeds to pull up a chair and have a conversation with me! The more she talked, the more I realized I wasn't getting back to the internet.

    In the course of the conversation, I found out that she's familiar enough with MBTI to think she's an INTP. It's just that she was so pleasant, smiling and friendly that she didn't seem very "T" to me- especially INTP since they have a rep for not caring about social niceties. Also, she teased my son a bit, the way my INFP sister teases. She's probably in her late 40's.

    One thing different from my INFP sister is that my sister is always "put together"... never goes out without makeup. Her hair is always fixed nice. This lady had no makeup and her hair was long and a little unruly in an artsy sort of way.

    Do you think she's really an INTP?
    Last edited by INTJMom; 12-29-2007 at 12:46 PM. Reason: I think I'm going to accept that she's an INTP for now.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    In the course of the conversation, I found out that she's familiar enough with MBTI to think she's an INTP. It's just that she was so pleasant, smiling and friendly that she didn't seem very "T" to me- especially INTP since they have a rep for not caring about social niceties. Also, she teased my son a bit, the way my INFP sister teases. She's probably in her late 40's.
    Well, we have already seen a lot of evidence of T's who do care about social niceties on this forum, at least. And while male INTPs tend to care less about social niceties, women INTPs still have a "relational bent" that means even the ones who don't much care can still play the game and potentially even enjoy it, depending on their specific personality and life experience.

    Yes, INFPs would take to it easier, though.

    One thing different from my INFP sister is that my sister is always "put together"... never goes out without makeup. Her hair is always fixed nice. This lady had no makeup and her hair was long and a little unruly in an artsy sort of way.
    I have seen both. It really depends on the woman and her internal values. There's more chance for an INTx woman to ignore social mores regarding appearance, but some INFP women would "go natural" if their inner vision of the world demanded it, rather than looking "produced" in some way.

    It's hard to tell what she is. She might lean INFP, but that's the most that could be said.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #3
    Senior Member Jive A Turkey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    "Oh I'm so glad I get to meet you! My son talks about your son all the time!"
    The exclamations and the following conversation make her seem pretty outgoing. Is she definitely an I? Sorry, if I'm missing the tone of the whole situation.

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    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jive A Turkey View Post
    The exclamations and the following conversation make her seem pretty outgoing. Is she definitely an I? Sorry, if I'm missing the tone of the whole situation.
    No, I know what you're saying! I even questioned her on it! But she was quite sure she needed to be alone to re-energize.

  5. #5
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    Do you think she's really an INTP?
    No, definitely not if that's her normal behavior. She's obviously an ExFx, but I can't say much more than that.

    If she is an INTP, then she must have been extremely stressed out about something. They can display enough emotion that I actually feel extremely invaded/nervous if they're under enough stress. I've learned over time that I'm much more afraid of an INTP who acts pleasantly, talks and smiles a lot than I am of one who's jaded and cynical about things. (But if they're silly/weird, that's fine too.)

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    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    No, definitely not if that's her normal behavior. She's obviously an ExFx, but I can't say much more than that.
    Not so obviously.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    No, definitely not if that's her normal behavior. She's obviously an ExFx, but I can't say much more than that.

    If she is an INTP, then she must have been extremely stressed out about something. They can display enough emotion that I actually feel extremely invaded/nervous if they're under enough stress. I've learned over time that I'm much more afraid of an INTP who acts pleasantly, talks and smiles a lot than I am of one who's jaded and cynical about things. (But if they're silly/weird, that's fine too.)
    Well, she reminded me so much of my INFP sister that really I was just wondering if she was an F instead of a T.

    I've only known one other INTP woman and not very well.

    I'm pretty sure she was probably right about the INP part. Perhaps I didn't give a good enough description.

    What do you think would be the major differences between mature female INFPs and INTPs?

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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    What do you think would be the major differences between mature female INFPs and INTPs?
    It probably is a matter of the personal versus the impersonal (and then, a matter of degrees).

    INFP women exude a bit more warmth. They tend to emote more (still quietly) and they often get a little quirkier or splashier in their clothing. They will focus more on the personal in their conversation and about the specific happenings of individuals in discussion. They can have a sharp wit but are very careful to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Seem to demand more connection in the relationship.

    INTP women are a little more sardonic or flat and can keep a little distance (detachment). They tend to be more sedate with their clothing, more pragmatic. They talk less about the specific tangibles of people and focus on broader abstractions. They are less interested in dealing with people with kid gloves on and might say some things that come off as abrupt or that could be taken wrong, except for the fact that you know they don't mean it that way. More detachment/space in the relationship.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
    Furry Critter with Claws Kiddo's Avatar
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    It is possible for people to develop the weaknesses in their personality type. My INTJ friend loves to dance. Of course, he had to expend a great deal of energy and time getting to the point where he was comfortable doing so, but now he is one of the best dancers I know. Perhaps I'm mistaken, but I don't think many INTJs like to dance.

  10. #10
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It probably is a matter of the personal versus the impersonal (and then, a matter of degrees).

    INFP women exude a bit more warmth. They tend to emote more (still quietly) and they often get a little quirkier or splashier in their clothing. They will focus more on the personal in their conversation and about the specific happenings of individuals in discussion. They can have a sharp wit but are very careful to avoid hurting someone's feelings. Seem to demand more connection in the relationship.

    INTP women are a little more sardonic or flat and can keep a little distance (detachment). They tend to be more sedate with their clothing, more pragmatic. They talk less about the specific tangibles of people and focus on broader abstractions. They are less interested in dealing with people with kid gloves on and might say some things that come off as abrupt or that could be taken wrong, except for the fact that you know they don't mean it that way. More detachment/space in the relationship.
    Thanks, Luv.
    I was gonna say that she talked about a couple of horrible experiences her son had with teachers. We talked about our sons mostly, not ourselves.

    She seemed intelligent enough and well-informed enough to know her own type. She just seemed awfully friendly and pleasant to be an INTP, but that's only based on the things I've read here about INTPs not caring about manners or polite behavior.

    Now that I think about it, she didn't have that "ethereal" quality my sister has - not really in touch with reality kind of thing.

    I have a hard time with that "caring about people's feelings" stuff based on what I've learned here about F's when you've hit one of their hot buttons, pet peeves, or the like. Like my sister, I think they can be downright forceful and not really care whose feelings they hurt.

    I guess I haven't known enough INTP women to know what they are like in person. She was definitely a positive example of an INTP if that's what she is.

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