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  1. #41
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    My INTP husband has a friendly exterior and a pretty well-developed Fe. He was a very popular and effective PTA President. He's in his late 40s and much less Introverted than when we met. His inclination still is to avoid crowds and large social occasions, but he's a warm, natural host. He probably wouldn't go up to someone for the purpose of meeting the parent of one of his kid's friends, but would happily carpool, watch said friend for an afternoon, make dinner if someone were sick, etc.

    Maybe the woman in question is close on the T/F split. It's also possible she sensed a kindred N and wanted to meet you for yourself.

    Jae Rae
    Yep! Everything that you stated, Jae Rae, rings true for my INTP! However he surprised me, at first, that he was introverted, because of his ability to walk up to people and display friendly banter. Sometimes he seems very extroverted. Also, he's a pastor, so I know he's worked hard on his openness. He said he use to hate hugging others, but after doing this for 20+ years with the church folks, he can hug with the best of us huggers!
    -Sandy
    I - 75% N - 55% F - 55% P - 61%
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  2. #42
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy View Post
    Yep! Everything that you stated, Jae Rae, rings true for my INTP! However he surprised me, at first, that he was introverted, because of his ability to walk up to people and display friendly banter. Sometimes he seems very extroverted. Also, he's a pastor, so I know he's worked hard on his openness. He said he use to hate hugging others, but after doing this for 20+ years with the church folks, he can hug with the best of us huggers!
    That's interesting. I wrote about that, then left it out. He realized that to work effectively with the PTA folks, most of whom were women, he needed to be more physically demonstrative (eg, hand on shoulder). We just had Christmas with his family, and I can tell you he was raised by very non-huggy folks, but he's better at it now. Being PTA president was hard for him and he only did it for one year. Then he became the IT guy.


    Jae Rae

  3. #43
    Senior Member Sandy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jae Rae View Post
    That's interesting. I wrote about that, then left it out. He realized that to work effectively with the PTA folks, most of whom were women, he needed to be more physically demonstrative (eg, hand on shoulder). We just had Christmas with his family, and I can tell you he was raised by very non-huggy folks, but he's better at it now. Being PTA president was hard for him and he only did it for one year. Then he became the IT guy.


    Jae Rae
    Yes, my INTP can lead, but I know that's not what he enjoys doing (other than the church, but he believes this is his calling). He once was a supervisor at his work (aerospace engineer), and he said he hated it and got out of that position shortly thereafter. (sort of like me, I can do it, but I don't enjoy it)
    -Sandy
    I - 75% N - 55% F - 55% P - 61%
    Enneagram 4w5

    There is love... in the red letters
    There is truth... in the red letters

  4. #44
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    Just to follow up, I went to a party tonight and met an INTP woman. She was friendly, not gushy, and the conversation moved easily from topic to topic. We began by chatting about books, then discussed her job as CFO for a software start-up company, then moved to kids. Amazingly, even though we live 30 miles apart, it turns out one of her business partners has a kid who's one of my daughter's best friends in high school. As we talked we found more coincidences and synchronicities. Finally I couldn't resist, and asked if she knew about MBTI. She knew her type, even though she'd taken the test more than 10 years ago. I don't think I know another INTP woman
    (except on this forum).

    Jae Rae

  5. #45
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Thanks! So now we know.

    I got a bad impression about INTPs from some of the INTP men I have interacted with. The women are making a better impression.

  6. #46
    Free-Rangin' Librarian Jae Rae's Avatar
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    I should also mention she took my hand when I told her my boss of 22+ years died last summer. That was unexpectedly warm, especially as it came early in the conversation. I think the opinion that folks mellow and round out as they age certainly fits - she was definitely INTP, but with good Fe (kind and approachable). She said she tested near the middle on all functions.

    Some of my favorite men are INTPs. (smiley face)

    Jae Rae

  7. #47
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    I know how you feel. As I said, I questioned her on that. She was quite aware that I types recharge by being alone and Es recharge by being with people. She was positive she was an I. I think she belongs to the Jung Society? (And she pronounced it in German - Yoo-ng.)

    I have no way of knowing how much stress she was enduring.

    She was definitely an N because I can't stand what S women talk about.

    People are so complex. I'm not really the type to continue arguing with someone or disbelieving someone when they're so sure they're right. I can more easily believe that I don't know enough people and I don't understand the subject well enough to tell her she's wrong.

    Are you taking into account the fact that she's nearly 50 years of age?

    As I said before, the only reason I had the idea that INTPs are anti-social is because of a couple of outspoken anti-social INTPs I've interacted with on this site. But in all fairness, they were all men, I believe. Xander seems to be one of the few I can get along with. He's quite outgoing, I believe (and he drives a NICE car!)

    I don't really know what INTP women are like except for Jennifer and I LOVE her. I agree with practically everything she says as if I had said it myself. It's funny that the females hit me differently than the males, because I really am put off by most INTP males - to the point of becoming furious sometimes. They really irk me.

    Anyhow, it's so difficult to "type" someone with a brief online description. As Carl Jung said, "Every individual is an exception to the rule."

    Well, I know two "official" INTPs very well. Both have taken the actual test through school or a job and one actually has a Master's degree in Psychology so this stuff is his bag. They are both males, but I see differences between them & the general stereotype of INTPs.

    Honestly? Both are fairly polite people with a good circle of friends. It could be due to the college environment that we were all in, but INTP's do have Fe in their top four functions & if you follow the theory that we prefer our top four over our shadows, then the Fe will make someone a bit more cautious about being polite to others. Both of them also will go out and socialize to a point, though they are normally the quiet guy at the bar unless they find someone specific to talk to to & they can relate with. I actually developed a close friendship with one of them in college because we'd usually hang out together at the bar while everyone else fluttered around the room socializing. However, both of them can get VERY chatty with me - probably due to the N connection or even the Ti connection. I've held a 4 hour phone conversation with one of them (the one I dated) & the other I talk to on a fairly regular basis - he actually runs his own business now & has to talk with & be friendly to clients on a regular basis. He's also thoughtful and made a huge effort to thank my boyfriend after he helped him out with something - more of an effort than I would've done, to be honest.

    You mentioned the woman is in her fifties - she could very well be starting to develop her Fe.

  8. #48
    Don't pet me. JAVO's Avatar
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    In previous situations and relationships, I have behaved exactly as FineLine and quietgirl described.

  9. #49
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    So essentially, MBTI is useless because it isn't predictive of peoples tendencies to a significant degree. If we can have INTP's going around acting sociable despite their inferior being Fe, then what does MBTI tell us? If we can have an INTP who likes to just run with the first connection they see without really thinking, what does it tell us?

    If such terribly great variation is possible within types, isn't the point of having all these types and ways of finding them sort of negated?

    You all may be right, but it means that this theory doesn't work the way it's supposed to because it doesn't give significant information about the people it's intended to assess, and it needs to be refined again.

  10. #50
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    She was quite aware that I types recharge by being alone and Es recharge by being with people.
    Take this comment for what it's worth because I'm quite new to MBTI, but I think too much is made of the E's need to be around people to recharge and I's need to be alone to recharge. I don't think it's that cut and dry.

    I doubted my E'ness for a long time and felt that although I like to socialize it can be draining and like to relax by myself at times. I asked my husband and best friend who are extremely outgoing about this and both of them often recharge by themselves - my husband recharges by tinkering in the garage, my friend does yoga. I realize that MY experience probably means little, but I think this idea is overly simplistic.

    So, I think your friend may have mistyped herself as an I - but seems more E.

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