Ignore your INTJ friend. He sounds incredibly ignorant and misinformed.
You seem like an ENFP to me, but if it turns out that you are an ESFP, so what? ESFPs can be awesome. The important thing is that you're a healthy, happy, balanced person, not whether you're a Sensor or iNtuitor. The MBTI can be a great tool to help you understand yourself and others, but it's just a theory. Your type does not dictate who you are.
Check out the ESFP, ENFP and ISFP forums on Personality Cafe. It should give you more insight into each type.