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  1. #1
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    Default This might seem weird but, I feel like I can't be INFP because they're so...beautiful

    My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
    I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
    I actually can't handle people in my space, I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
    Please help me type myself.

    Kind Regards
    FalseHeartDothKnow

  2. #2
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FalseHeartDothKnow View Post
    My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
    I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
    I actually can't handle people in my space, I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
    Please help me type myself.

    Kind Regards
    FalseHeartDothKnow
    INFPs can easily come off as aloof or cold and prickly when we don't feel comfortable (read Jung's description of Fi-doms, for example)—I'm sure we come across in a variety of ways, depending. I wouldn't let that rule out being INFP by itself, since coping strategies for more extraverted situations vary.

  3. #3
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Yeah not everyone of the same type is the same.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  4. #4
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    Possibly a mildly extroverted ENFP. I'm borderline E/I.

    As the above person said, NFPs can be VERY prickly. Seriously.

    Your boyfriend is probably an enneagram 9. You might be an ennegram 4, or something else.

  5. #5
    libtard SJW chickpea's Avatar
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    i act the same way and can't 100% connect with INFP descriptions because of it

  6. #6
    Vaguely Precise Seymour's Avatar
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    If it helps, this is from Psychological Types on Fi-doms:

    Quote Originally Posted by Jung p389
    Their [Fi-doms] outward demeanor is harmonious, inconspicuous, giving an impression of pleasing repose, or of sympathetic response, with no desire to to affect others, to impress, influence, or change them in any way. If this outward aspect is more pronounced, it arouses a suspicion of indifference and coldness, which may actually turn into a disregard for the comfort and well-being of others. [...] With the normal type, however, this only happens when the influence of the object is too strong. The feeling of harmony, therefore, lasts only so long as the object goes its own moderate way and makes no attempt to cross the other's path. There is little effort to respond to the real emotions of the other person; they are more often damped down and rebuffed, or cooled off by native value judgment. Although there is a constant readiness for peaceful and harmonious co-existence, strangers are shown no touch of amiability, no gleam of responsive warmth, but are met with apparent indifference or a repelling coldness. [....]
    Which doesn't exactly sound warm and cuddly externally. I agree with what people said above (about type not being everything), and I think learning to deal with social situations is, in part, a skill that improves with practice.

    I'm told I come across as charming and reasonably outgoing in social situations, but I still feel awkward and (when exhausted) like a failure. You might also try asking people who know you how you come across, since one's own social perceptions (especially as an introvert) may not always be accurate.

  7. #7
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    That sounds like how i would be were i not trying really hard not to be 'lukewarm' like that at work if you get my gist...my mum calls me 'aloof' but i never notice it to be honest. Thanks for taking time out to help guys.

  8. #8
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Although there is a constant readiness for peaceful and harmonious co-existence, strangers are shown no touch of amiability, no gleam of responsive warmth, but are met with apparent indifference or a repelling coldness.
    Yeah, I really like that, I think I might come across like that at times. Really goes against the F stereotype too, good ol' Jung.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  9. #9
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    lol, you sure sound infp in your OP.

    what type would be your second guess?
    -end of thread-

  10. #10
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FalseHeartDothKnow View Post
    My INFP boyfriend naturally exudes warmth and tenderness without even trying, so much so that sometimes I wonder at it. He is helpful and understanding beyond his means, and even his melancholy is almost Shakespearian.
    I always test as INFP as well, having taken lots of tests, and done research, but I dunno, my aura feels different to his. I can be quite boisterous with people at times, but I know that that is forced, and inauthentic, a learned behaviour to 'deal with' the outside world.
    I actually can't handle people in my space, I don't really go out at like other students seem to, I can never really do gregarious without getting nervous and going over the top, and I perceive myself to be REALLY annoying.
    Please help me type myself.

    I totally relate to this, and I have no doubt of my INFP-ness (except my melancholy is totally Shakespearian ).

    I can seem warm/nice, but it's inconsistent, often contrived, and "too intense". I greatly admire people who exude tenderness & warmth naturally. I feel that way inside, but I have trouble expressing it in a way that isn't awkward.

    And hey, maybe your BF is the mistyped one? Enneagram differences (I find 9s come off the "warmest", & 4w3s can seem relatively warm; 4w5s & 5w4s seem the most aloof), and simply being two different people accounts for a lot also.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

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