Can relate to this. In professional situations, I'm more of an INTJ. In personal situations, definitely an INFJ.
I can 'detect' the feelings of other people quite clearly in both situations (damn you, Ni and Fe) but in professional situations my mind takes control and do what's best and what's rational. Also, I really dislike showing my feelings in those situations. That's why if anyone would test me then, they'd say I'm an INTJ.
In personal situations, I live my life by emotions, and am definitely an INFJ.
I think if you would draw a graph, I would have a very large spread in the F/T spectrum, with the average slightly more in the F zone.
All that you have written in the first post ^^ could have been written by me. I, too, would feel bad if someone didn't like the food in the restaurant I took them to. Hell, I'd feel bad if the people at the neighbouring table wouldn't like their food...