After searching a few different areas, I feel this is actually the right place to put this. I'm just thankful so far everyone is being helpful and not like "Oh shut up already, stupid girl" =]
This is a little (read: GIANT) blurb of stuff about me to hopefully help. Feel free to skim it.
A few months back, I was introduced to Jungian types, and MBTI, and Socionics, and Enneagram by my boyfriend. I'm honestly intrigued, though currently, the only thing that can describe me without flaw is my 9 enneagram typing.
Other than that, I'm sure I have Ne. My boyfriend basically demands I'm a socionic INTj (MBTI INTp, if I'm not mistaken?). I honestly believe that I'm a feeler-- that's why I'm here, basically. He always tells me that Thinkers hate the idea of being feelers, while feelers wouldn't mind being thinkers. Why then, would I be so sure I'm a feeler?
I'd like to learn more about all these systems, even if I never understand, just so I can confirm either his thoughts or mine. I know I should just believe my own thoughts about myself, because I'm the only person who knows who I am-- but he's a Te man, and I find he just knows more than me in general.
If it helps at all, all MBTI tests I take say I'm an INFp. I'm told that's simply because I'm a girl. A good portion of my friends, if you asked whether I was a thinker or feeler, would say I'm a feeler though. When actually asked to compare type descriptions, a lot of the people who know me well said both fit me really well. One friend went on to elaborate that she'd lean towards INTp simply because I'm "good at math".
I was wondering if, since I'm fairly sure I'm an NF rather than the INTp/(socionic)INTj, if some other NF's would be able to... I don't know. Assist me on my path of discovery.
I'm near absolutely sure of my Ne-- I can't sense for beans. I won't eat unless reminded, and often I won't use the restroom until I'd be doomed not to-- even then I sometimes forget and manage to wait out another hour or five. I'll often hurt myself and not even realize. My Ne is extremely present.
However, whether I'm a feeler or a thinker is something I personally can't come to terms with even though the others I know who have been practicing typology longer than me have come to the conclusion. I know their original typing of me, however, was apparently based on my VI, and now it stays the same.
My BF, who is adamant about me being a thinker, blames everything I bring up as evidence to being a feeler on my really strong 9 enneagram type. ((I am one of the nine-iest of nines, apparently)). I still really feel like he is wrong about that.
Also, I just stopped by the NFp How do you read? and the You know you're an infp if threads, and I am in tune with the things I read as well as really, really surprised to know that I'm not the only backwards test taker and spot reader.
I abhor the idea of lying, and even when I tell a white lie, the amount of terrible I feel concerning it is enough to always make me turn around and tell the truth. I'm a strong believer in respecting people's rights and properties, and I sort of think nothing should be assumed. I don't judge people, per se-- I will see them, and think particular thoughts, but I can't make a judgement of who they are as a person until I meet them. Often, I will be caught in a joke of "oh that person is trash because they look such and such a way", but whether I agree to the joke, or worse am the one who said the joke, I'm always left feeling a bit hollowed out inside because it hurts me that I would even say that.
I can't organize or schedule well at all, but I often try since it is a little relieving to my 9 to be able to approach people and say "Well, I've come up with an idea, now no one will be bored!" And no one is bored, and no one complains and that I like.
I think, perhaps, the strangest of things is when my Te boyfriend explains things that are "right" to me. Since he is gifted with his Te, he can give me all the cold hard facts one by one, and say "you see?" And I will go "Yes, I see. But that's just not how I feel about the situation. I see that you can explain exactly why you feel that way, and your feeling is a lot more justified than mine. But... it just doesn't work that way in my mind."
I don't know whether that would be my Ti just.. misunderstanding his Te, or Fi being able to see Te, but Te not being able to change the feelings Fi feels.
I do sort of have trouble connecting in a group, and for that reason I prefer more intimate situations. One on one or two on one is the easiest way to cope. It means less people for me to keep happy... a smaller environment even, so there is less struggle to avoid conflict and everything.
I don't know if this as anything to do with my type, but I'm always trying to be the best person I can be. Lying hurts me, and being a hypocrite about anything makes me want to punch myself in the face. I've often been told I'm a great person, but I can't see it because I'm too busy wanting to be better. If I've said something that someone else believes is a lie-- and I feel it wasn't, then I get really really upset that my value has been taken away in their eyes. I find it insulting to the human kind as a whole when people do not react in the way I feel is fit for a given situation, even as small as holding a door for someone. Again, I get just as angry at myself when I fail to do these things.
Also, when someone has wronged me, I have an insatiable need for them to apologize. Even if they've something cruel in anger to me, even if the anger is rightly deserved, if they are no longer angry they should apologize for hurting me. I know it does nothing to solve the situation, or anything to that effect, and it does not take away what they've done, but by simply recognizing that their actions were cruel or wrong I feel that they can be fully forgiven.
Uhhh...Yeah. Sorry. I figure the most information laid on the line is what will be helpful. Try to read through my obvious bias x.x If it helps to ask questions of me, go ahead. I'm asking for your help, so I'll be as generous as possible with information.