disregard's Type: INFP

[JivinJeffJones]

However, using criteria that's derived externally (based on context) to define and validate your values is a totally different story.

How does that work?

Could you give me an example of how that might play out?

 

[Totenkindly]

i had to learn how to be LESS open. that's the direction i had to go in in order to grow. so, i can tell you by this experience that i found the middle ground by being selective about who i opened up to, and until i knew enough to be sure, i would open up about everything except what i wouldn't want spread around. in other words, if i didn't want someone else (other than the person i was talking to) to know it, then i'd keep it to myself. otherwise, i let it fly. anything. opinions, thoughts, feelings, tastes, hobbies, everything. but, i keep that 'line' in mind.

i was burned far too many times and learned the hard way.

Yeah.
Ditto.

Sigh.

I tend to be far too open... because I like having info on the table and discussing it with others, to reach the best conclusion.

But then I've had people take that information and (whether they've understood it properly or not) use it against me.

I've had to actually learn to be more guarded until I'm sure I can trust someone.

 

[disregard]

ah, i see. yes, and i get what you're saying. i agree that they're too complex, AND i also think that the tests leave far too much room for mistyping. this is why i know little about functions. because i don't believe the system is foolproof enough to begin with to study it further. meaning that by knowing more, i think i'd actually know less by getting bogged down with too many opinionated details and perspectives.

it does, however, have just the right amount of merit to 'use' it. and, that's why i like it so much. i never had your problem though. i got entp the very first time before having ever heard of it before, and i've never typed as anything else.

i have gone a bit insane though trying to type another person.

Yeah, I wish this was my story. People seem to think I'm trying to "experiment with being another type" or play a joke when I change my type, but I'm truly at such a loss. I can best describe my experience with MBTI as drawing with an Etch-A-Sketch: I will conjure the most detailed, brilliant drawing only to have it be wiped clean with the jolt of doubt, once I remember I'm just playing with a theory.

interesting.

i had to learn how to be LESS open. that's the direction i had to go in in order to grow. so, i can tell you by this experience that i found the middle ground by being selective about who i opened up to, and until i knew enough to be sure, i would open up about everything except what i wouldn't want spread around. in other words, if i didn't want someone else (other than the person i was talking to) to know it, then i'd keep it to myself. otherwise, i let it fly. anything. opinions, thoughts, feelings, tastes, hobbies, everything. but, i keep that 'line' in mind.

i was burned far too many times and learned the hard way.

sometimes, i still screw up though. *sigh*

i certainly wish you all the best.

This was my story, until I went through years of social isolation in college. I had social anxiety all my life, and SA + geographic relocation = shutting everyone out. If you're me . Now, I'm much more comfortable in my own skin, but I'm still in the habit of being very closed off.

 

[simulatedworld]

I'm kind of confused as to how anyone could be confused between Fi+Ne and Te+Ni.

Are you familiar with what each of those terms means?

 

[disregard]

Sim, the problem does not lie in a misunderstanding of the functions, it's in committing to seeing yourself in one way, when you know you are multidimensional.

 

[Totenkindly]

Sim, the problem does not lie in a misunderstanding of the functions, it's in committing to seeing yourself in one way, when you know you are multidimensional.

Typically this is the sort of thing that leaves me thinking "P" for you.
Hence, an internal judging function: IxxP

(Unless you're extroverted. But I don't see that as the case at all.)

J's typically do not have such trouble and wrestle so consistently with it.
As another IxxP, I do the same sort of thing... Lots of complexity involved, how does one prioritize pieces of it?

 

[Jaguar]

Typically this is the sort of thing that leaves me thinking "P" for you.

I agree with disregard. I guess that makes me a P.

 

[VagrantFarce]

How does one become more open?

I would like to.

Stating your opinions?
Talking about your personal life?

The answer is in the question - stop defining the situation in advance, and just be open to experience as it happens. The rest will take care of itself, you just have to trust it.

 

[Laurie]

How does one become more open?

By not picking INFP for your type.


(I don't think INFPs are "open")

 

[simulatedworld]

Sim, the problem does not lie in a misunderstanding of the functions, it's in committing to seeing yourself in one way, when you know you are multidimensional.

Is there some reason being INFP or ENTJ or any particular type prevents you from being multi-dimensional?

By the way, I think Jen's guess that you might be a P is fairly reasonable. I've hardly read any of your posts so I don't really know, but I do commonly hear, "How could one of sixteen personality molds describe a unique person's essence?" from Fi dom/auxes quite a bit. It seems to stem from Fi's dislike of being categorized/boxed in--it's threatening to one's sense of individuality. Really, though, the way typology is set up, every type leaves room for a huge variety of kinds of people; the only thing binding them by type is certain types of cognitive tendencies in their perspectives...these same tendencies can lead to dramatically different ideas, opinions, identities, lifestyles...all within the same type.


EDIT: Also, I noticed that part of your thread was asking about how to become more open in terms of things like stating your opinion. ENTJs almost never have trouble stating their opinions; in fact, people often think they do so too often and too forcefully. They will call a spade a spade and take charge of the situation. Your desire for help in this area is suggestive of introversion.

So yeah I'm going with a preliminary INFP guess.

I agree with disregard. I guess that makes me a P.

Good thing this guy showed up to set the record straight, huh?

 

[Totenkindly]

I agree with disregard. I guess that makes me a P.

Well, yeah, you're an INFP, right?

 

[Glycerine]

Yeah, and I'm an ENFP.

When I talk sometimes I can sound super bulldozer and bossy like an ENTJ - I've made jokes about it in vent.

You seem to have quite a bit of Te, whatever your type is. I'd definitely say you also have Fi as opposed to Fe.

I know you are an ENFP. INFPs and ENFPs can have many commonalities. Disregard just gives a vibe similar to that of you and orangeappled combined to me.

 

[heart]

Yeah but a substantial portion of INFPs fall into this category, and it's something I've noticed in the vast majority of INFPs on the forum, thus the argument.

I act radically different online than I do irl. Irl, it is hard to be verbally fluent in arguments. Online I can talk through my fingers and I can access my thinking in a direct way that seems impossible verbally.

IRL, few people around me know my feelings/thoughts on most anything. And I usually feel like trying to debate or argue with them is a waste of energy. Sometimes I feel compelled to speak out if something is important but it takes a lot of energy. I won't engage in deeper debate.

---------------------------

And yes, interacting at INFPgc had me doubting my type, deeply.

 

[The Outsider]

ESTJ.

 

[Geoff]

I solemnly swear that I will go by whichever type y'all think I am.

I am not offering a poll, because I find verbal contribution more interesting.

So far, I'm rather sure that that I use Fi and Te, and that I'm an intuitive, but that's all that I've got.

INFP 8
INTJ 3
INFJ 2
ENTJ 1

INFP I think.. I'm not certain but it seems that more than anything else. You try (too hard?) to be other things at time.. but the more... "warm" you.. when you relax and be yourself seems INFP.

 

[disregard]

Oh Geoff, you've always been one to try to knock me down.

Appreciate it.

 

[OrangeAppled]

From what I've seen of your posts, you seem like an hard-edged INFP. I think XNTJ seems a bit too forced on you... it doesn't come off natural to me. Your vibe is kind of like a combination of orangeappled and marmalade.sunrise.

I'm a hard-edged INFP?

I act radically different online than I do irl. Irl, it is hard to be verbally fluent in arguments. Online I can talk through my fingers and I can access my thinking in a direct way that seems impossible verbally.

IRL, few people around me know my feelings/thoughts on most anything. And I usually feel like trying to debate or argue with them is a waste of energy. Sometimes I feel compelled to speak out if something is important but it takes a lot of energy. I won't engage in deeper debate.

---------------------------

And yes, interacting at INFPgc had me doubting my type, deeply.

Same here....I feel a similar difference between my online self & real life self. In some ways, I am more open online, and probably much more articulate with my thoughts.

As for INFPgc, I LOVED when new users would make dramatic first posts with subjects like "My soul is at odds with the world!". I'd be cringing & laughing at the same time because deep down I could see myself in it a bit (especially my teenage self, and many INFPgc posters were teens). You know later that person looked back at their post & cringed & laughed also. I think INFPgc was a big fat, anonymous venting ground for INFPs who stay bottled up in their offline life. It's the same reason I love Morrissey songs....the expression of one's own ridiculous feelings in a mocking tone because you know they've gotten out of proportion. I found INFPgc humorous & relatable in the same vein.

 

[Glycerine]

I'm a hard-edged INFP?

Intellectual and not warm and fluffy (but definitely not cold either) like the INFP stereotype.

 

[ThatGirl]

ISTP