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esfp or enfp? honestlyyy

gigi_xo

New member
Joined
Mar 4, 2010
Messages
376
MBTI Type
ENFP
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4w3
The test says enfp but...

My friend and former college roommate took one of the online tests I gave her and arrived at "ENFP"

now, perhaps I'm being a little biased, because me and this girl, despite our friendship and roommate status, NEVER bonded over ANYTHING.

a typical conversation with us would go-

Me: I feel like m relationship is everything I need and everything I shouldnt have.
Her: The horse show today was really neat. I met a new girl & we got slushies. Just ignore your boyfriend though, he's mean.



she doesnt agree with EsFP because she doesnt enjoy partying, she can be more introverted, and she just said it didnt fit.

she agreed with the enfp defintion of

"zany charm" and "Always making new friends" but I have NEVER seen a shred of Ne from this girl. ever. but just incase I'm bias... this is a little about her.


*Theater major with minimal acting skills
*can be a very quiet E
*is generally very accepting of people
*Has no problem talking behind someone's back or cutting people out of her life
*Never told any of her friends that her father had passed away until her uncle awkwardly mentioned it
*Hobbies are acting, horse back riding, watching movies, making friends, talking about other people behind their backs, manicures, and running
*Shys away from anyone displaying a lot of emotion, thinking them to be unstable
*but to be fair, she did enjoy playwriting class
*and she does feel a strong connection, as I do, with ariel the little mermaid


am I biased, or is she a shy esfp?
 

Ratsimoan

New member
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Mar 25, 2010
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289
MBTI Type
enfp
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4w5
She must be an enfp, if the test said so. You're not always going to get along with the same personality type. The difference between her and you might be different enneagrams. I know I'm a little different from enfps with 3,7, and 9 enneagrams.
But how was her mood when she took the test because your mood has a big impact on your results? Because when I first took the test I came out as an enfj. The reason for the result were I was tired and didn't understand some of the questions. So I took the test again got an enfp.
 

neptunesnet

man-made
Joined
Sep 5, 2009
Messages
1,228
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
5&4
Instinctual Variant
sx
With what you posted about her, she could be any type. What she likes to do doesn't exactly help in understanding what type she is. Why she does those things, however, could give you more insight.

Don't read those personality type descriptions - they're useless. The tests too are often misleading and not very effective. Just break it apart according to function.

ENFP: Ne Fi Te Si

ESFP: Se Fi Te Ni

Try to figure out which she has [here's a very basic website with descriptions of the cognitive functions]. Sometimes it's much easier to figure out the FiTe judgment functions when you have them yourself (i.e, as an FiTe I can easily point out fellow FPs) than to try and distinguish between SeNi and NeSi.

The only part of your depiction of this girl that I think could help you is

*[She] shys away from anyone displaying a lot of emotion, thinking them to be unstable

She may not be even be a Feeler. Or she could just be more concerned with what is socially appropriate and find overt emotional displays depending where you are and what you're doing not suited to the current environment or situation (Fe/FJ).
 

Fluffywolf

Nips away your dignity
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Messages
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drEvil.gif


Send her over to me and I'll get to the bottom of it. Heheheh.. Hihihi...

...For ONE MILLION DOLLARS! Muhahahahaaahaaahahaa!
 

sculpting

New member
Joined
Jan 28, 2009
Messages
4,148
My friend and former college roommate took one of the online tests I gave her and arrived at "ENFP"

now, perhaps I'm being a little biased, because me and this girl, despite our friendship and roommate status, NEVER bonded over ANYTHING.

a typical conversation with us would go-

Me: I feel like m relationship is everything I need and everything I shouldnt have.
Her: The horse show today was really neat. I met a new girl & we got slushies. Just ignore your boyfriend though, he's mean.



she doesnt agree with EsFP because she doesnt enjoy partying, she can be more introverted, and she just said it didnt fit.

she agreed with the enfp defintion of

"zany charm" and "Always making new friends" but I have NEVER seen a shred of Ne from this girl. ever. but just incase I'm bias... this is a little about her.


*Theater major with minimal acting skills
*can be a very quiet E
*is generally very accepting of people
*Has no problem talking behind someone's back or cutting people out of her life
*Never told any of her friends that her father had passed away until her uncle awkwardly mentioned it
*Hobbies are acting, horse back riding, watching movies, making friends, talking about other people behind their backs, manicures, and running
*Shys away from anyone displaying a lot of emotion, thinking them to be unstable
*but to be fair, she did enjoy playwriting class
*and she does feel a strong connection, as I do, with ariel the little mermaid


am I biased, or is she a shy esfp?

She might be An ENFP.

A few things-the talking about people-that is a sign of insecurity. If in a convo, she can get you to tell her things about others, by exposing things about others, she is somewhat secure you are being honest with her. When in middle school I realized I did this a tiny bit-it was really gross. So I stopped.

not telling about her father? It makes her *feel*. I remember once telling my best friend, "Why would I ever share my feelings with anyone?" Even being an entp, she just stared. Fi likely ties her hands a bit. She doesnt want to talk about things she feels strongly about.

cutting them out of her life-hell yeah. You reject them before they can reject you. It hurts less that way.

The introverted could be Si. I actually test as crazy ass N, but almost introverted-I use so much Ne, that I actually have to spend a lot of time in Si to recover-thus look fairly introverted.

Notice for every point above-I shared my experience? that is what she was trying to do with the horse show to boyfriend thing I bet.

She just sounds like a young immature enfp maybe? we come in lots of flavors it turns out. just my two cents though.
 

phoenix13

New member
Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
1,293
MBTI Type
ENFP
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7w8
My friend and former college roommate took one of the online tests I gave her and arrived at "ENFP"

now, perhaps I'm being a little biased, because me and this girl, despite our friendship and roommate status, NEVER bonded over ANYTHING.

...

Hey, none of those traits point to the way she thinks... just the way she acts. Things like how much one likes to party or how well one can act are irrelevant. Consequently, I have no idea what she is.

Also, ESFP (Se-dom) is very different from ENFP (Ne-dom), and shouldn't be that difficult to distinguish. For example, if you asked her about the friend she drank slushies with, would she give a remarkably detailed description of his/her appearance or engage in amateur psychoanalysis?
 

phoenix13

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Joined
Mar 31, 2008
Messages
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She must be an enfp, if the test said so. You're not always going to get along with the same personality type. The difference between her and you might be different enneagrams. I know I'm a little different from enfps with 3,7, and 9 enneagrams.
But how was her mood when she took the test because your mood has a big impact on your results? Because when I first took the test I came out as an enfj. The reason for the result were I was tired and didn't understand some of the questions. So I took the test again got an enfp.

:doh:
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
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Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
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INFP
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sp/sx
My ISFJ mom has tested ENFP....and when I read both descriptions to her (without telling her which was which), she picked the ISFJ as a fit. Plus, she's my mom and I KNOW her type :tongue:. Anyway, my point is, tests can be WRONG. There are a lot of crappy online MBTI tests out there too.
 

CzeCze

RETIRED
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Sep 11, 2007
Messages
8,975
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GONE
ENFPs don't necessarily recognize each oher. I have counted ENFPs as classmates and friends and I was really surprised when they also tested ENFP. Since you are typed based on how you experience the world and not how you seem to others.

Lots of Fi users shy away from the "overly emotional" because frankly, it can take Fi doms a while to get a handle on their/our own emotional functions and we get too easily overwhelmed/triggered by others.

Her comments about your boyfriend - that seems like Ne, very scattered, kinda air-brained or distracted.

Also, I think it can take until your early/mid 20s after a person has explored their own functions and grown and what not for you to accurately get the settled type. I took the MBTI test 2x administered by a school counselor through highschool and college and it wasn't until my final year of college that I got 'ENFP' on an online test that it made sense!

But in answer to your OP, your description of her doesn't nix her as an 'ENFP'.
 

gigi_xo

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Mar 4, 2010
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376
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ENFP
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The thing about how she thinks is that I have NEVER seen a shred of Ne

as an enfp, I'm so Ne it hurts.

and one of my best friends is esfp and I know the difference generally, the problem is that this girl is so very reserved about everything she is thinking.

but okay as for how she thinks is expressed in the way she speaks

she discusses how she feels about unimportant things, shying away from actually emotion and focuses on the shallower things, she discusses other people we know and what she LOVES/HATES about them

she essentially thinks anyone different from her significantly is weird and she very quickly decided she loves and hates people on minor details. she is very easily led and holds very loosely to most opinions of things/places/people, easily swayed.

I'm not saying it isn't possible, its just that her observations seem very shallow/detail oriented as opposed to actually insightful

but not every enfp is insightful are they?

one last example of how she acts

Me: aren't you upset about selling one of your favorite horses?
her: Nah, I can ride faster on my new one.

she's very matter of fact i mean to say.
 

gigi_xo

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I posted this in the NF section, but people were ultimately not very concerned.

here we go-

this girl who is my friend and my first college roommate took one of the online tests I gave her and arrived at "ENFP" just an online one. her results were like 7 sensing

now, perhaps I'm being a little biased, because me and this girl, despite our friendship and roommate status, NEVER bonded over ANYTHING.

a typical conversation with us would go-

Me: I feel like my relationship is everything I need and everything I shouldnt have.
Her: The horse show today was really neat. I met a new girl & we got slushies. Just ignore your boyfriend though, he's mean.



she doesnt agree with EsFP because she doesnt enjoy partying, she can be more introverted, and she just said it didnt fit totally.

she agreed with the enfp defintion of

"zany charm" and "Always making new friends" but I have NEVER seen a shred of Ne from this girl. ever. but just incase I'm bias... this is a little about her.


*Theater major with minimal acting skills
*can be a very quiet E
*is generally very accepting of people
*Has no problem talking behind someone's back or cutting people out of her life
*Never told any of her friends that her father had passed away until her uncle awkwardly mentioned it
*Hobbies are acting, horse back riding, watching movies, making friends, talking about other people behind their backs, manicures, and running
*Shys away from anyone displaying a lot of emotion, thinking them to be unstable
*but to be fair, she did enjoy playwriting class
*and she does feel a strong connection, as I do, with ariel the little mermaid


am I biased, or is she a shy esfp?
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
Joined
Jun 7, 2008
Messages
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It's really hard to know based on the information you provided. Hobbies can be a clue to type, but certainly not the be-all, end-all.

Next time you speak to her, ask her what is truly important to her. What does she LIVE for? What keeps her getting out of bed in the morning? I find these questions to usually do a pretty good job of indicating basic temperament. Narrowing it down after that is usually possible, too. Report back with her answers to those questions and I should have an idea.

Searching for "shreds of Ne" is a lost cause. Cognitive processes often stay in the mind, and what you have access to only tells a small part of that story. Unless you have developed some sort of brain-scan technology, I wouldn't try to detect "Ne." ;)
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
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Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
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YMCA
Are you sure she isn't an ExFJ? If you don't think she is ENFP, then I doubt she is. I've found with ENFPs that we end up so much on the same wavelength it's crazy. ESFPs and INFPs sometimes too.
 

Litvyak

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am I biased, or is she a shy esfp?

You are definitely biased, it is pretty obvious from the way you're writing about her.
She may be an ESFP, but you should let people type themselves as they wish. It doesn't really matter either way if you two are unable to bond.
 

Kasper

Diabolical
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May 30, 2008
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ENTP
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9w8
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so/sx
Merged. One thread is enough, people will respond whichever forum it's in.
 

gigi_xo

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Mar 4, 2010
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Are you sure she isn't an ExFJ? If you don't think she is ENFP, then I doubt she is. I've found with ENFPs that we end up so much on the same wavelength it's crazy. ESFPs and INFPs sometimes too.

honestly my initial thought was EsFj

this is because she would get very frustrated when I wouldn't regularly clean my side of the room

she would be very easy going usually, but she certainly ALWAYS had plans, and she liked to have fun within those plans, if they got changed slightly thats fine

but plans make me anxious

not having plans seemed not to exist in her world.

and yes, you understand... every other enfp I've known (well, all 3 or 4) and I have insta-bonded. and at least understood one another.

she misunderstood me to the point of us deciding it would be better NOT to room together anymore. not that we arent still friends. but actual conversations about something serious? she ignores anything serious, deep, or irrelevant to the current moment.

this is why I think S.

and thanks for merging!


also for mr, intj who replied- I think we're biased about anyone we know, but dont you think we get a certain vibe from others of the same type whom we meet in person?
 

gigi_xo

New member
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Mar 4, 2010
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ENFP
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It's really hard to know based on the information you provided. Hobbies can be a clue to type, but certainly not the be-all, end-all.

Next time you speak to her, ask her what is truly important to her. What does she LIVE for? What keeps her getting out of bed in the morning? I find these questions to usually do a pretty good job of indicating basic temperament. Narrowing it down after that is usually possible, too. Report back with her answers to those questions and I should have an idea.

Searching for "shreds of Ne" is a lost cause. Cognitive processes often stay in the mind, and what you have access to only tells a small part of that story. Unless you have developed some sort of brain-scan technology, I wouldn't try to detect "Ne." ;)

she "lives" for other people and being happy she said.

any clue now? lol. Its hard. she sorta disregarded the question as silly
 

Rainne

One day and the next
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Mar 7, 2010
Messages
875
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ISTP
Only the person can truly type themselves =)
 

Jeffster

veteran attention whore
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she "lives" for other people and being happy she said.

any clue now? lol. Its hard. she sorta disregarded the question as silly

My follow up would be "HOW do you live for other people? What about people interests you? What makes you happy?"
 
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