Hello, here I am again.
So it appears I might be an INTJ. Other options are INFJ, INFP and INTP, it seems.
A year ago I toyed around with the idea of being ISFP. Later I realized it was an attempt of entering a new state of mind & a temporary haven of peace, focusing on my feelings and my relation to the environment in order to cut through accumulated difficulties. I've been operating under my shadow or stress type a lot (didn't even realize this half of the time, focusing on "what could be fun/interesting/..." instead), which seems to be some form of an eSfP.
I also noticed the functions of INTJ & ISFP are similar: Ni-Te-Fi-Se & Fi-Se-Ni-Te.
I'm thinking I was originally drawn to the IXFP type due to my tertiary Fi developing. (I was 17 back then...)
Before that I used to test as XNTP. I believe what distinguishes me from an XNTP and makes me be a potential INTJ is the usage of Ni and Te: being almost subconsciously connected to the bigger whole (reading through things) & applying various frameworks/perspectives in order to execute potentially maximizing behavior. (With this of course come along the processes of Fi and later Se.)
Although I'm able to and enjoy applying Ti and Ne, what I just described as Ni and Te seems to *govern* me more thoroughly. It's my most original concern when dealing with my inner world vs the world around me. For instance I've been analyzing my family life for this reason. I've been providing them with psychology related information for the sake of improvement (additionally it's helped me with actually feeling as if I'm finally sharing myself with them on deeper levels).
At school I was/am concerned with organization, but I'm mostly there to learn.
When looking into interaction styles I'm usually Directing & Responding. This makes me fall under Chart-The-Course.
I make use of Informing when deciding to "kick it back", so to speak.
An online friend of mine, whom I have conversed with during that year where I was toying with the ISFP type, suggested I often make use of Ni and Fi.
Another interesting thing is the fact I appear more like an INFJ than the average INTJ. Many of my inclinations seem to show a concern for the other although when talking to other NF's at some point we just lose connection ("personal meaning" as they like to call it [I find this somewhat blurry but basically it comes back to identity], community, relationships) as my interest in it isn't _major_ (but it's important enough to talk and think about or feel through) and I continue focusing on matters which other NT's like to discuss as well (evolution, semantics, ...).
That's it for typological information.
I'll just talk about where my mind is at now.
I fit the Rational temperament of Keirsey the most, despite the fun I can see in an SP approach to things & despite the importance of certain NF values that I tend to be alright with.
SJ is too self explanatory to get into. My mother is ESFJ and my grandfather is ISTJ: I tend to find an easier click with him because of his efficient processing of impersonal information & due to my mother being overbearing and too 'illogical' or 'literal' (but we get along too).
My father is an INTP (E8w7) and we apply similar frameworks to situations.
He's more gluttonous on a daily basis and I'm more concerned with reaching to my basic needs. On a -personal- level he's either avoidant or dominating and I'm confronting or complaining. He places more value in community than I do yet when looking at the important personal aspects he's more oblivious than I am (and so he claims I care more about what others think of me in that sense). He's more purely logically critical and I rely more on intuitive hunches. I'm somewhat liberal and he's more of an elitist. We both like to speak our minds and feel free to do our own thing. Also both of us enjoy "new" things (he's a gadget junkie) and watching documentaries or so.
There are some other similarities and differences between us... As there are with other family members... But I don't see the need to get into those now.
Before knowing about typology I've often felt misunderstood. I was kind of a tomboy and secretly shy. I was hard to read but showed a soft spot here and there, for instance when listening to someone or when playing with kids. I used to look out for certain people or try to analyze them for the sake of understanding what everything's about, not that I really cared... People found me wise for my age yet extremely stubborn about things like getting 'my own way'. I had a lot of self respect and tried to stand up for justice or novelty. I was a bit of an outsider but I could mingle quite smoothly when wanting to, though my preference for independence and my critical mouth have led me to get into trouble with more group oriented people (which I may refer to as sheeple). I had leadership abilities when needed.
People seem to believe I'm confident, but when you look deeper I can be quite insecure. I easily take things in doubt or feel the need to run over information a lot before getting to full action. Some say I should be less hesitant and be more in touch with my heart... Feel the power, so to speak. I agree. Stress hasn't done good for me as it led me to being constrained like this, but it's not that much of a big deal. Talking to those who are truly close to me has opened new doors. For instance I've experienced commitment issues which are now slowly fading. Enough about this, it's becoming irrelevant.
I'm also possibly HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) with HSS (High Sensation Seeker). Basically it means my nerve system is more prone to picking up "subtle" signs and so they affect me more easily. I can "sense" things going on around me more intensely.
I seem to feel out of place a lot as an INTJ female. It is as if I would be more appreciated as a man and I need to tune into my people skills in order to be just as worthy or appreciated. It is as if personal appreciation or gain & competency are being meshed together and so I try to play into that to get more out of a situation for both myself and others.
I may appear to be an INFJ or ENFP at times (and SP on my lost days). Although I invest a lot of effort in trying to understand my own motives (feeling wise), the people around me, how to get along with others, what people deem as important, etc, I just can't say it's my natural dada. I feel much more butterflies when reading the views of an XNTP or receiving the tips of an XXTJ rather than discussing matters of the heart, daily gossip, and what not. It comes secondary to me, as if 'it may be handy for my social self to grow'... I use different outlets to go through my feelings & when it comes to other people's things I do my best to listen and provide helpful feedback.
This frustration leaves me somewhat clueless towards where I'm heading to as I don't feel as if I am fully developing myself.
... Many people I know tell me I could do good in Psychology or Philosophy (or Law, which is quite the INTP field in my eyes). As much as I enjoy the idea of professionalism and research in Psychology I feel more drawn towards Philosophy. When someone suggested Moral Philosophy over pure Philosophy I still felt more inclined to engage myself in Philosophy as I'm not that much of a "people's person", even though I can see how studying Moral Philosophy could be enlightening and contributive.
My Enneagram type is 5w4. I'm pretty much an information absorber who has an artistic streak. I've added arts to my programme in a very liberal high school. I attended a music school in my free time. I've always enjoyed writing.
I never had a "favorite" subject at school as I've been interested in every subject that's been taught to me & my attention span often depended on the teacher's approach to the class. I was an eager student & easily bored. The teachers who saw me bloom referred to me as "intellectually engaging" and the teachers who saw my slacker habits were disappointed as they saw I could do more.
Opposed to many, or the stereotypical, NT's I'm not a science noob. I used to be into computers and some design at the age of 10 but when I entered high school it faded. I did like technology in high school, but again, it was very basic and minor.
Sometimes I wish I could develop myself more in scientific or economic fields as I believe I could actually gain something from this. I miss having a knack for these things.
I have no easy coming idea where to begin with but I'll find myself a way.
I guess easy ways aren't really an option as they bore me after all of the novelty and free time, or they eventually disappoint me:
Currently I'm in my first year of Political & Social Sciences. It's not very focused on expertise and my major of Sociology involves quite some nitpicking yet superficiality in my eyes. These things make me doubt my affinity for this field and so it comes across as limiting. BUT I could be ignorant and biased, dreaming of something that might not be realistic.
... I hope this wasn't too big of a WOT or too chaotic. Personally I'd have a hard time reading through all of this, hah.
P.S. Writing mistakes are due to not being native American / English.