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A very annoying girl I have to work together with

Queen Kat

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I have togive a presentation within a month with a very annoying girl. I know her for a very long time already, but I've been avoiding her because I couldn't take her seriously. Now I'd like to know her type, so I can at least explain her behavior and deal with it.

- Her parents got divorced and ever since she loves divorcements. A few years ago, when my mother wanted to leave my father, she came to me to tell me how wonderful it was that my mother made that decision. "Oh, my god, that's so great! My parents got divorced and believe me, it's so fun! Really! It's just amazing! I want to become a divorcement lawyer when I grow up, it's just so awesome. Seriously, your mother should just do it! Congratulations!" Didn't she get that the thought of living in a broken family didn't make me happy at all?
- Fakes confidence. Moves like she's confident, but anyone can notice that she's insecure.
- Needs people, but most people seem to be annoyed by her presence. Probably because she's kind of clingy.
- Lousy social skills. Always says the wrong things at the wrong time.
- Can't look up things at Google.
- When you explain her something, she admits that she doesn't know anything about it, but that she does know that you're totally wrong and then she asks you for another explanation. Sometimes it takes more than half an hour to explain something to her because she keeps denying everthing you say.
- When we're working, she only bothers other people.
- When she wants to write an article about something and she needs an article in a foreign language to make it, the first she does is translating the entire article in that foreign language.
- She seems to be afraid of me. I'm the only person she has trouble with talking to. She stutters and pauzes and "err"s a lot when talking to me. Really strange, because a lot of people who meet me first tell me that I'm adorable.
 

StrappingYoungLad

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Does she have any positive behavior ?

Any other type of information other than "She sucks" ?


Otherwise I feel you'd like me to type her as ESTJ so you don't have to.
 

Jaguar

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What you just posted tells me more about you, than her.
 

Queen Kat

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Anything positive? Err...

- She tries to help or support people, but she can't, because of the lacking social skills. She ends up annoying others.
- She's together with her boyfriend for a very long time. I don't know if that's type related.
- She's a good student.

Can't discover anything else. I don't try to judge her, I just want to be able to handle her a bit better. She can be rude and dumb sometimes, without noticing it herself. She says absolutely stupid things at the wrong time, for example when I told her about my parents' 30th anniversary coming up this December, she put on this sad face and said: "So they didn't seperate? What a shame! It would have been so much fun!" Meanwhile I see the things that she's doing wrong in her work and then I ask her if I could help or take over these things, but then she refuses. I'm afraid she'll fuck it up for both of us. I usually don't have any trouble with working together with annoying people, but this is a bit too much for me. I have to keep playing her mom all the time!
 

Windigo

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I can't imagine an SJ thinking divorce is a good thing. I don't think what you're dealing with here is type related.
 

am_i_evil666

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Ok, what I can get from this is that her social skills suck.
I don't know, maybe some kind of unhealthy ENFP?
 

Uytuun

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I can't imagine an SJ thinking divorce is a good thing. I don't think what you're dealing with here is type related.

You would be wrong.

I know one that was quite disappointed when her friend's parents didn't divorce (like her parents had). ISTJ...it seemed like she suffered a lot from falling short of the norm and was trying to shift it back her way (aka everyone should be divorced).
 

Windigo

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You would be wrong.

I know one that was quite disappointed when her friend's parents didn't divorce (like her parents had). ISTJ...it seemed like she suffered a lot from falling short of the norm and was trying to shift it back her way (aka everyone should be divorced).

Wow. That's just crazy. I could see maybe a young ISFJ being that way but all the ISTJs I know are uber conservative!
 

highlander

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I have togive a presentation within a month with a very annoying girl. I know her for a very long time already, but I've been avoiding her because I couldn't take her seriously. Now I'd like to know her type, so I can at least explain her behavior and deal with it.

- Her parents got divorced and ever since she loves divorcements. A few years ago, when my mother wanted to leave my father, she came to me to tell me how wonderful it was that my mother made that decision. "Oh, my god, that's so great! My parents got divorced and believe me, it's so fun! Really! It's just amazing! I want to become a divorcement lawyer when I grow up, it's just so awesome. Seriously, your mother should just do it! Congratulations!" Didn't she get that the thought of living in a broken family didn't make me happy at all?
- Fakes confidence. Moves like she's confident, but anyone can notice that she's insecure.
- Needs people, but most people seem to be annoyed by her presence. Probably because she's kind of clingy.
- Lousy social skills. Always says the wrong things at the wrong time.
- Can't look up things at Google.
- When you explain her something, she admits that she doesn't know anything about it, but that she does know that you're totally wrong and then she asks you for another explanation. Sometimes it takes more than half an hour to explain something to her because she keeps denying everthing you say.
- When we're working, she only bothers other people.
- When she wants to write an article about something and she needs an article in a foreign language to make it, the first she does is translating the entire article in that foreign language.
- She seems to be afraid of me. I'm the only person she has trouble with talking to. She stutters and pauzes and "err"s a lot when talking to me. Really strange, because a lot of people who meet me first tell me that I'm adorable.

This may help (then again, may not). In either case, it is something I would consider.

Kellevision: What You Hate Most in Others, is the Shadow Within Yourself.
 

heart

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From your description, she sounds very split off from herself. You'd never be able to type a person like this.

Maybe she's got a personality disorder?
 

Queen Kat

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highlander

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This is so funny! :D But I don't really relate to that. How can someone secretly have bad people skills or hide lacking empathy? That doesn't make sense! Or how can anyone be hiding that their hiding insecurity? That doesn't make sense either!

Well, again, I don't know if it helps, but when an ENFP is having an eruption of the inferior (not a normal way of being - those moments when you're not yourself), they may report one of the following:
- withdrawl and depression
- obsessiveness (being overly picky and critical of self and others, getting upset about little things, becoming irritable and cranky, escalating small irritations into major issues, getting nervous and jumpy with people, becoming short tempered, crabby, or rigid, becoming autocratic, being insensitive, literal, logical, and critical)
- exaggerated concern about bodily sensations (hypochondriac)

These eruptions of the inferior are linked to your shadow. That is, when you're not yourself as an ENFP, you become a really bad version of your opposite - ISTJ. So, when you see some of these types of behaviors in others, it bothers you more than it should. That's conceptually how it works.
 

TopherRed

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...Or maybe Saint Kat is really dealing with an annoying person, and we all jump down her throats in contrary because it makes us sound/feel high and mighty.

Kat, this could be your Tert, especially if she's stressing you out in the work environment.

But, for the sake of fairitude, what functions do you think she uses? Start with the most noticable ones and work your way down. Clearly, if she values divorce, there is probably something amiss with her, but one cannot "connect-the-dots" without more points.
 

Queen Kat

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...Or maybe Saint Kat is really dealing with an annoying person, and we all jump down her throats in contrary because it makes us sound/feel high and mighty.

Kat, this could be your Tert, especially if she's stressing you out in the work environment.

But, for the sake of fairitude, what functions do you think she uses? Start with the most noticable ones and work your way down. Clearly, if she values divorce, there is probably something amiss with her, but one cannot "connect-the-dots" without more points.

Thank you!!! :D Finally someone who doesn't want to make me believe I'm insecure!

Anyways, I observed her a little bit better yesterday when we had to work together again. I don't really understand the function system, but these are other things I saw:

- She's not really concious of the way she moves. She bumps up to things quite often. Her body language is really strange. She lifts her head up really high, but at the same time she doesn't keep her back straight at all. That's why I think she's faking confidence. Her facial expressions are pretty odd too, to me. It's exactly like the facial expression of Elliot in Scrubs (after the first season).
- Really wants to be appreciated. She can't stand being alone and when she's alone, she goes to other people and starts talking to them. She doesn't notice it when others are unconfortable with her company and she doesn't really recognise other people's emotions. This could explain why she says inappropriate things (I was really sad and scared at that time, she didn't notice). The divorce thing was just an example, but she does repeat it all the time. She actually keeps repeating everything she says.
- She goes with the flow. When one of her friends does something, she does exactly the same thing. When one of her friends is interested in something, she's interested in it as well. She never doubts or criticise anything or anyone and she trusts everyone. If someone offered her to cut off her head because it would make her lose weight, she'd let them cut of her head immediately.
- She hates surprises and plans everything out. When we started working together, she planned every single thing we'd do every time we'd be working together. You should have seen her face when something went wrong in our projects! She got all stressed out because this way we could make a new planning.
- She want other people to confirm that she's nice, handsome, smart, etc. When someone just confirm such thing, she behaves a bit more confident for a few hours. After those few hours, she searches for the next person who can make her feel nice, handsome, smart, etc.
- She gets extremely nervous during presentations. She is the most nervous when she has to do this presentation on her own and in that case she starts crying and sometimes she even runs away. We're going to have to do this presentation together, and I think that this is pretty much of a problem. I even thought about giving her sedatives before the presentation, but unfortunately drugging people is illegal. She doesn't really like to recieve too much attention (maybe that's why she can't dress?).
- She clings to her friends and the only time when she talks to other people is when her friends are gone. When her friends are there, she avoids other people.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
She really does sound like an underdeveloped Fe type. Don't shoot me...
EDIT: I agree w/ SiB...ISFJ sounds more accurate.
 

Ayeaye

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Joined
Jan 27, 2010
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71
I have togive a presentation within a month with a very annoying girl. I know her for a very long time already, but I've been avoiding her because I couldn't take her seriously. Now I'd like to know her type, so I can at least explain her behavior and deal with it.

- Her parents got divorced and ever since she loves divorcements. A few years ago, when my mother wanted to leave my father, she came to me to tell me how wonderful it was that my mother made that decision. "Oh, my god, that's so great! My parents got divorced and believe me, it's so fun! Really! It's just amazing! I want to become a divorcement lawyer when I grow up, it's just so awesome. Seriously, your mother should just do it! Congratulations!" Didn't she get that the thought of living in a broken family didn't make me happy at all?
- Fakes confidence. Moves like she's confident, but anyone can notice that she's insecure.
- Needs people, but most people seem to be annoyed by her presence. Probably because she's kind of clingy.
- Lousy social skills. Always says the wrong things at the wrong time.
- Can't look up things at Google.
- When you explain her something, she admits that she doesn't know anything about it, but that she does know that you're totally wrong and then she asks you for another explanation. Sometimes it takes more than half an hour to explain something to her because she keeps denying everthing you say.
- When we're working, she only bothers other people.
- When she wants to write an article about something and she needs an article in a foreign language to make it, the first she does is translating the entire article in that foreign language.
- She seems to be afraid of me. I'm the only person she has trouble with talking to. She stutters and pauzes and "err"s a lot when talking to me. Really strange, because a lot of people who meet me first tell me that I'm adorable.

I agree it's very confusing, hopefully you will sort it out a little before the presentation. I dont know what google had to do with anything???
seems like you both need to cut each other a bit of slack.
 
P

Phantonym

Guest
Sounds like a very young, inexperienced, insecure and socially anxious girl. Based on the descriptions, I'd maybe propose ISFJ, but considering the aforementioned "issues", she could be whatever type. F most likely.
 

Queen Kat

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The bitch is starting to stalk me now!!! She's calling me all the time (how the hell does she know my fucking phone number?! I'm fucking untraceable!) and my mailbox is full of her e-mails and when she sent me an e-mail she calls me again to check if I got the message! Yes I got the fucking message! "But I know your reputation when it comes to these kinds of tasks" BUT EVERYTHING ALWAYS TURNS OUT FINE WITH ME! At least, when I work ALONE. Not when people are stalking me to see if everything goes just the way they planned it. Dude, I'm emotionally unstable, planning things is a bad idea for me. Just get it. Jeeeeeeeeze.
 
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