I really can’t figure this one out, and he hasn’t taken a test and probably wouldn’t be much interested, so you guys must help me out.
I get along extremely well with him but feel like it’s sort of on a surface level. To me he is rather emotionally locked up. We can talk for hours about our favourite bands, down to the nitty gritty of awesome bass lines and the like, or about our travels and funny incidents on them, or funny things that people he’s interviewed for work have said, or whatever. But…he won’t talk about his feelings, at all really. He’s never been in a long-term relationship (that I’m aware of) and hasn’t taken much obvious interest in the relationships I’ve been in. (To me, he seems asexual, but hard to say.) He used to be more emotional when younger, but it tended to be more like temper tantrums then. I don’t mean he isn’t enthusiastic, because he is. But in a sense, it seems like his enthusiasms are rather teenage.
He does seem to want to keep things on a sort of technical level rather than touching the emotional aspects. For instance, he has always been very interested in 20th century history. If we get into a conversation about the Holocaust – ie. a couple of years ago I visited Auschwitz – and I’m talking about the sheer horror of how this political regime could systematically do away with people and how upsetting I found it, he’ll steer it back to “well, you know, political and cultural circumstances can give rise to these events” or something like that.
He is a sports journalist and knows everything about his field (hockey). Ask him how many goals were scored by which teams in the last four games of the 1974 Stanley Cup finals, he’d probably be able to tell you right away. He writes sports articles as well as travel articles, restaurant reviews and stuff like that, and writes EXTREMELY well. He is lucid, concise and has a gentle irony and will cunningly slip in references to his favourite songs and that sort of thing. (Sometimes I get the feeling almost that he slips things in as an in-joke between him and myself or him, myself and our parents, which is an indication that in some respects we are still very close.) He actually has a Masters degree in English and sometimes I get the impression he should have continued with academia. But really, he loves what he does. I think he was extremely good at academia but was never able to take it quite seriously. He was certainly a very high achiever at school, mainly in English, history, languages, etc.
He is certainly not a jock but he does have a regime of working out, jogging etc which he follows fairly rigorously. His taste in music jives with mine in many respects, but he does have a preference for fist-pumping metal which he will inevitably describe as “awesome.”
He is very professional and pleasant in social circles and can seem almost suave. When I see him like this, though, it always strikes me as a tiny bit fake. With me and my parents he just has a lot of silly, fun, tangential, playfully intellectual conversations. He is pretty laid back to all appearances, but he does get uptight about people being flaky, cancelling on him, being late without letting him know, that sort of thing.
He has a very very wide circle of acquaintances through work, etc but I would say he has few close friends. He cares a lot about me and our parents, plainly, but I would guess that most of the other people he’d describe as “close friends” he’s known since school, or at least for several years. I don’t think those people are many either. And I think his friendships with them are mainly based on shared interests, rather than some sort of emotional connection, though I’m not certain. EDIT: He doesn't spend a lot of time socializing with friends purely for fun, it seems. I mean, from time to time, but most social things he goes to are work-related. He quite often goes to concerts, movies etc on his own.
I would only say for sure that he’s NOT ESTP, ESFP, ESFJ, ESTJ, INFP. I think he is almost certainly an Ixxx but otherwise? He seems more like a T too but I don’t know… Could he be an F who is protecting himself over-much? Some likely possibilities to me seemed like ISTP, ISTJ, ISFP, INTP, or INTJ.
What do you think?