Maybe I'm wrong about my type?

[INTJMom]

... if I am around other people too long I need to recharge, but if I'm alone too much (or just with my immediate family) then I need to get out and socialize and I feel much better.

I think that means you are more "I" than "E".

 

[alicia91]

Another way to think of E vs. I:Initiating vs. Responding. Do you tend to initiate or respond to people more often.

Definately Initiate.

Another way to think of N vs. S: Abstract vs. Concrete -- You seem concrete

Yes I'm concrete

Directing vs. Informing:This is close to J vs. P but not quite. It is a reflection of the type and purpose of the language you use (which reflects a bit of what happens in your mind). Do you generally use language more to "direct" people (in what could certainly be a helpful way) or to "inform" people (in ways that can certainly help them find direction).

Hard to say - I know I do both. I know I've become more direct over the years and my husband absolutely detests the 'informing' style of communication so perhaps I've adjusted my style because of him? However, I've always thought that the informing style was more polite.....??? My mom claims that in 5th grade the teacher called her after he overheard me telling the group I was supposed to do a project with that "I'll write the whole thing, you guys color the pictures ....and that way we will get an A."

Do you aim to control outcomes, or to ensure movement towards goals?

Don't know. Maybe the former.

Are you focused more on how people are structured or in how to motivate them?

I'm not sure exactly what is meant by 'focused on how people are structured' but I don't think I'm particularly good at figuring out how to motivate people.

Do you prefer peer/comrade relationships or relationships like teacher-student, mentor-protege?

Peer/comrade

Temperaments
Artisan - Focused on having the freedom to act and making an impact
Guardian - Focused on responsibilities and desire to be reliable
Idealist - Focused on meaning and identity w/ regard to higher purposes
Rational - Focused on competence and having the skills to deal with life well.

Guardian or Rational

In-Charge - likes to take the lead
Get-Things-Going - likes to make things happen
Chart-the-Course - likes to make sure we are on track
Behind-the-scenes - likes to make sure we chose the right track

Chart-the-Course or In-Charge

participative vs. independent styles

Independant. I'm always the best person for the job.

Local vs. Global perspective

Don't know. When I was younger I was more global. I was interested in politics and what was going on in the world. As I've gotten older I've found that I'm happier focusing on my own little world!

hard vs. soft demeanor

That's easy - hard. I'm definately a Type A.

Mainstream vs. Counter-Culture attitude

:

Easy - Mainstream. I dislike the counter-culture scene.


Hmmm.....

 

[INTJMom]

...

Hmmm.....

Does your husband ever tell you that you jump to conclusions on shreds of evidence that are too tiny? (this would be a possible short-coming he might see in you)

 

[ygolo]

You are seeming rather ESTJ to me.

But a few more questions, if you don't mind:

If you went to college, how did you choose your major? How often did you switch?

What were your extracurriculars in school?

What do you do to relax, now?

 

[alicia91]

Does your husband ever tell you that you jump to conclusions on shreds of evidence that are too tiny? (this would be a possible short-coming he might see in you)

Yes! But I'll defend myself and say that my conclusions often end up being correct. But sometimes I jump to a negative conclusion when it was unnecessary. For example, I had a physical this week and a few days later someone from the doc's office called and left a message on my machine. Until I could get back to them I was freaking out thinking that I had a major disease. However, they just needed to confirm my insurance!

If you went to college, how did you choose your major? How often did you switch?

I went to college to study economics originally. I think the idea was that I was going to eventually study law. I'm also very interested in money so it made sense at the time. But I found economics too 'dry' and just lots of boring, old theories. So I switched to Political Science after the first year. I was interested but really couldn't imagine working in this field - what kind of a job would it lead to and I had lost my interest in law at that time. Eventually I had a major family situation (became estranged from my father who was putting me through school) and had to drop out. To make a long story short I ended up switching colleges and after much soul-searching decided that I wanted a more hands-on, practical career - so I went to design school and have a degree in interior design.

What were your extracurriculars in school?

Not many in grade school, my parents didn't encourage it and wouldn't drive me anywhere or pay for anything. I mostly played with friends in the neighborhood. I do remember playing soccer on a team in middle-school, trying to play in the band (Yuck!) and taking drama lessons (yuck!) and was on the Long-Distance running team (which I liked). In high-school I was on the Pep Squad, but that was about it since I was too busy socializing and hanging out with friends.

What do you do to relax, now?

Shop, hang out with my kids, go out with my husband for dinner and/or drinks, read books - self-help, gardening, cooking, personal finance/investments, wines, downhill ski, go to hockey games (we have season tickets), go to the club (pool & golf), this past summer I took golf lessons which I enjoyed, hiking, travelling (but I like familiar places best - Florida Keys, Sedona, Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Charleston, Myrtle Beach - I basically rotate those trips). I'm also a huge amusement park fan - every year I hit Disney, Cedar Point, King's Island and Canada's Wonderland. I'm also really into water-parks. So I don't really relax too much! Actually I don't relax .... period..... except when sleeping! LOL

 

[alicia91]

And the winner is:

ESFJ

I'm not going to give all the details as to why this is correct, but I will say that a couple of tests REALLY helped with this. One is the test that gives you your actual type, your desired type (not the correct terminology I realize). But it highlighted the fact that I'm trying (without realizing it) to be more T than I am. I admire T'ness, but I'm a master at rationalizing my own opinions and making them seem T-like.


I belive that some of the confusion also stems from a weak (borderline) E and J . Of course, it's not 100% but close enough.

 

[Athenian200]

And the winner is:

ESFJ

I'm not going to give all the details as to why this is correct, but I will say that a couple of tests REALLY helped with this. One is the test that gives you your actual type, your desired type (not the correct terminology I realize). But it highlighted the fact that I'm trying (without realizing it) to be more T than I am. I admire T'ness, but I'm a master at rationalizing my own opinions and making them seem T-like.


I belive that some of the confusion also stems from a weak (borderline) E and J . Of course, it's not 100% but close enough.

That does make some sense. You don't quite seem cold enough to be an ST, but do seem a bit more driven/organized than a typical SF... which makes you seem more T. And the tertiary Ne explains why you're interested in this so much. Pretty good, actually. But don't feel bad if you're not sure 100%... I don't think anyone ever really is.

 

[alicia91]

And the tertiary Ne explains why you're interested in this so much

I believe so. And I think my Ne is really developing and I've read that tends to happen in middle-age (yikes!).

From TypeLogic:

Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive. This sometimes results in swift, immediate action taken upon a transgressor, followed by stern reprimand; ultimately, however, the prodigal is wrested from the gallows of their folly, just as the noose tightens and all hope is lost, by the very executioner!

An ESFJ at odds with self is a remarkable sight. When a decision must be made, especially one involving the risk of conflict (abhorrent to ESFJs), there ensues an in-house wrestling match between the aforementioned black-and-white Values and the Nemesis of Discord. The contender pits self against self, once firmly deciding with the Right, then switching to Prudence to forestall hostilities, countered by unswerving Values, ad exhaustium, winner take all.

This in incredibly accurate and insightful!

 

[alicia91]

(I'm going to use this post as a journal of my discoveries for the time being. Feel free to comment or not).

I'm still not satisfied. It's like the 'real me' still hasn't been discovered. Again, I'm probably just too old for this to be accurate. Lately I've been getting several N results. I just can't seem to seperate my 'natural inclination' with 'what I've been conditioned to be over the years.' At this point I suspect that I've become more S, and J over the years. I'm not saying I'm not naturally either of those, but I've also been pushed in that direction.

Yesterday on the CareerStrength test I got:

The temperment pattern you rated highest:

Theorist (NT) Strategist Talent

The temperment pattern you rated second:

Improviser (SP) Tactical Talent

No wonder I'm so lost in all of this!

I also did the Enneagram test and turned out to be:

3 (with my next score a tie between a 4 & 6, with 8 also quite close)

For some reason I found the Enneagram test questions a bit easier to answer than typical MBTI - not sure why that is. I'm not too thrilled with 3 being the winner since it seems shallow and neurotic


Well, that's it for now.

 

[alcea rosea]

My suggestion:

Read a lot of MBTI type descriptions! That way I found my type, not through tests but lots of studying, self reflection and thinking it over. The type that seems best, closest and the most familiar to you is probably your type. It can take time!

I first thought I was ESTJ (according to first of internet tests I did), then reading the descriptions I thought I was more ESFJ like. Then I read more and thought that I'm not as giving as ESFJ's. Then I thought I was ENFJ but that was too good to be true. After all that I found ENFP, realized that I was feeling type, understood what intuition meant (in MBTI) and accepted my P'ness. So, I found my type. It took some 6 months or so. (Even if I still think I might be ENFx sometimes .

Good luck in your search!

 

[alicia91]

Thanks Alcearos! I think that's what I'm going to do. Just explore and take my time.

But it's always SOMETHING that doesn't line up with the tests or descriptions. For example, I get the letters figured out ...........E--X--T--J then when they are all put together and I read about the type as a whole I think 'Whoa.......that is so NOT me!'

Side-note - about the NT findings: in many ways it's true that I'm very attracted to theories (that's why I'm here!) and classification systems yet at the same time I'm quite status and appearance concious and tend to follow the trends (clothing, hair styles, cosmetics etc.) a bit more than I suspect most NT's do. I also have good social skills and I'm reading that many NT's don't 'care' much about stuff like that and I certainly do. On the other hand I'm much more rational than a Feeler.........so the cycle continues.

Edit - I also have to mention an incident when I was very young that I think is reflective of me before I was too 'conditioned.' I have a late birthday so my parents took me to a Kindergarten 'readiness' evaluation. THe tester asked me to draw a self-portrait. My parents were chatting with her while I was drawing. After quite some time I was just finishing up. I had drawn a giant cruise ship that covered the entire page and had drawn a teeny-tiny stick figure of myself as the captain. The tester was quite mortified but my parents thought it was quite funny. I've always wanted to 'do my own thing' or is it a 'control thing?' But as I got older and cared more about what people thought I learned to resist doing things like that because I realized that doing what you are supposed to do gave me more academic success and academic success is critically important.

 

[alicia91]

I've been thinking about the 'big picture' versus 'small picture' concept and I think I've had a major revelation about my job. As I've mentioned earlier I've recently (in the past two years) started my own business as an interior designer working by myself out of my home. This was after staying home with my kids for 15 years. Between college and having kids, I worked in a home furnishings store as a sales person and it was OK. I'm good at small-talk and talking about products though I hated the 'pressure to sell' aspect since I'm totally against selling people things they don't need. Anyhow, I've concluded that I'm definately a 'big picture' person and in terms of design I get a good feel for a space and the concept of what needs to be done with it is what I LOVE to do. What's the problem? Most of being an interior designer these days is DETAILS - gold fringe or red?, 6" border of 4"?, light cherry or dark cherry - how wide, not to mention the nitty gritty business skills I hate - accounting, keeping track of receipts, taxes and on and on. I'd like to be the designer that just comes in, dreams up the concept and the major space planning and leaves the rest to the subordinates. Unfortunately I have no subordinates! Am I 'good' at the details.........YES I am. I HAVE to be and I've been TRAINED to be.

So am I more P than I thought? Yet I'm strongly 'security seeking' and worried about future stability. Hmmm....

 

[alicia91]

Nope - changed my mind about NT and P already!

I've almost done a complete circle and am back to the ISFJ/ESFJ categories. I think I'm just weak J and close to the center on most of the others also. By now I kind of feel like the Sybil of the MBTI world.

 

[alcea rosea]

Try reading all E descriptions if you are still unhappy with the result.

But if you are happy with ESFJ, then that's it.

 

[alicia91]

Forced hubby to sit down with me today and go over all of it with me. It was torture for him (ENTJ with ADHD) but he knows me better than anyone else.

1) He laughed his ass off when I told him I thought I was Extraverted. He said something to the effect of 'just because you go out for lunch once a weak with your girlfriends and say hello to the cashiers at the grocery store in no way makes you Extraverted........ (roaring laughter)' Okie-dokie then.

2) Definately S - but I kind of knew that.

3) T vs F - a bit harder but he claims that I'm more F than T. I make decisions based on how I feel rather than cold hard logic. But he says I have a way of making my decisions SOUND completely rational and logical so I come across as T. I think he's right. I also think that my F might be somewhat weak.

4) He was so surprised that I hadn't figured this one out. J v P. He says I'm P but with enough J that I'm trying to improve my J skills and have to a large degree but I'm still P no matter how hard I try. Some examples he gave was when I moved from Canada to the US it took me about 5 years to close all my Canadian bank accounts, I'm still a Canadian citizen even though I've been here for 17 years - (just in case I want to move back). Despite this I have enough J to make me CARE about being organized and because I'm very picky about my surroundings I spent considerable time working on them. Yet details still can stress me out.

I've read some of the online versions of ISFP and the one at Bestfittype sounds JUST like me, though other ones like Typelogic aren't so accurate. However, I have the book Do What You Are and the chapter in there that describes this type is very accurate, so it's definately a possibility.

My husband said that the four most obvious characteristics about me are 'Talent in Visual-Spatial Skills' (can easily visualize in 3-D in my mind) and 'Fact-Finder Researcher' (I have extensive facts about things like plants that bloom in August stored on the computer) and 'More of a Consultant than Doer' (lose interest after the start-up phase) and 'Always looking out for Other's Best Interests' (give lots of good common-sense advice and support to people around me).

I think this makes a lot of sense but I'm not willing to declare it just yet! I guess what is stopping me is the whole Artisian image. Yes, I have STRONG visual-spatial skills, but I'm in no way a 'fine-artist.' The guy with the beret at mypersonality really freaks me out!

 

[alicia91]

Still thinking about this.

At this point I'm going to say that I'm a P. It seems to line up best with the way I was when I was young. I've definately picked up a lot of J traits over the years but I think they are 'learned' or something that I do in times of stress OR they just plain make sense. I know in some ways I can be a bit anal-retentive and this is what made me originally think I was a J, however it's not what I do naturally. For example, I'm VERY picky about my surroundings - I want to be in a calm, warm atmosphere in my home. Therefore when I see a giant pile of laundry, it upsets my environment and reminds me of unfinished tasks. I tidy my bathroom because I want it to look like a spa. So I devise all sorts of routines to allow me to have the environment that I want but I'm not naturally good at keeping it up - the cycle goes on and on and it takes a huge effort. Of course I'm not entirely P -the latest test said about 64% which still leaves a lot of J.

 

[alicia91]

I'm leaving the ISFP for right now......but doubts have crept in again. I finally read all the information on that Lenore Wikipedia site and after that...I'm more confused than ever. While reading it, I took notes and felt that I could very much relate to several of the functions and I was so happy I felt like I was getting somewhere. Then I stopped and looked how it matched up to my original 8 functions test that Splittet recommended - ha! they are completely different.

First let me say that I did not understand the section on Feeling and couldn't decipher at all if I am more Fi or Fe- didn't feel any connection at all but it was probably the way it was written. I completely related to Ni, Ti (in no particular order). Now, I also relate strongly with Si and I realize that the more stressed out and anxious I am the stronger the Si gets. Since I feel stressed and slightly anxious A LOT it's hard to say if it's my natural self or a real problem. I guess I have to think back to a happy peaceful time in my life (when the heck was that?).

So if you put Si, Ni and Ti together - what do you get?

Today I was once again asked asked to be a moderator at a forum that I have participated in for a couple of years. This is the third time a board owner (different boards) has PMed asking me to do this because they usually claim that I'm "calm, not overly opinionated yet speak my mind, rational but sensitive to people's feelings" Maybe they are just saying this and are simply desperate for suckers to moderate?

Any of you have any vibes about me?

Maybe I should just give this up? LOL

 

[Splittet]

I actually think you are ISTP rather than ISFP, which would mean your primary function, is Ti, a function you stated you identify with. One of the main reasons why you should really consider ISTP is actually that you are female. Because of gender roles many females of thinking types will find it hard to type themselves as Ts. Generally female Ts are more balanced than male Ts, and male Fs more balanced than female Fs. In a way T is a male perspective, while F is a female perspective. That means female Ts very much have the F perspective in them because of their gender, which might confuse things somewhat. My theory anyway.

 

[alicia91]

Thank you (again!) Splittet, what you say makes a lot of sense. I guess a few things have made me discount ISTP. First my husband has professionally tested as ENTJ but now sometimes tests as ESTJ and compared to him - I'm a big wimp! For example when the kids misbehave he immediately goes into punishment mode "to your room!" "you are grounded" whereas I want to sit with them and calmly hear their side and talk about the underlying issues - "why were you so frusterated you hit your brother?" Perhaps that's just my 'femaleness?' And his T is strong!

Also ISTP's are often depicted as mechanics and having a tool in their hand - hmm...not me other thant he fact that I am a very 'hands-on' interior designer. I hang up pictures, move furniture, install curtains etc. but I have a handyman do the big things. But I wonder if that's a gender-role thing? Maybe I COULD do it - I just haven't really tried - but the interest certainly is there.

I noticed that the tertiary for ISTP is Ni (which I really relate to) and I'm middle-aged (yikes!) so I guess that makes sense.

 

[quietgirl]

Still thinking about this.

At this point I'm going to say that I'm a P. It seems to line up best with the way I was when I was young. I've definately picked up a lot of J traits over the years but I think they are 'learned' or something that I do in times of stress OR they just plain make sense. I know in some ways I can be a bit anal-retentive and this is what made me originally think I was a J, however it's not what I do naturally. For example, I'm VERY picky about my surroundings - I want to be in a calm, warm atmosphere in my home. Therefore when I see a giant pile of laundry, it upsets my environment and reminds me of unfinished tasks. I tidy my bathroom because I want it to look like a spa. So I devise all sorts of routines to allow me to have the environment that I want but I'm not naturally good at keeping it up - the cycle goes on and on and it takes a huge effort. Of course I'm not entirely P -the latest test said about 64% which still leaves a lot of J.

I'd say P because you're having trouble picking a type & sticking to it. J's tend to be satisfied with a decision more easily than P's.

My ENFP best friend is VERY particular about her surroundings and as far from J as you can get. She's actually more tidy than I am with her room & I'm a J. Messiness is a tough thing to measure.