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  1. #121
    Luctor et emergo Ezra's Avatar
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    Alicia, what you need to do is decide which dichotomies are firm. For me, they are TJ. Every time, save once or twice, I have come out as J. I have always come out as T. Hence, I have already limited myself to four types; ESTJ, ENTJ, ISTJ and INTJ. Now, I look at the descriptions of these four types, and I can automatically lose ISTJ; it fits me least of all. I look at the next three, and decide which is most like me, because when you're balanced, that's all you can do. You may be flittering from one type to another, but the likelihood is that you're closest to one type than any other, even if you have a balanced dichotomy. You will act more one than another. And remember, the more balanced you are, the better you are as a person; it means you're more skilled in two areas as opposed to brilliant in one area, and not so good in its 'opposite'.

  2. #122
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    Alicia, what you need to do is decide which dichotomies are firm. For me, they are TJ.
    Are you analyzing the 8 cognitive functions or just the basic dichotomies? The latter is simpler of course but I'm not sure for borderline cases (like us), it's as helpful. At this point I still have a hard time between just saying I versus E, etc. but I have an easier time knowing how I'm using my cognitive functions. Exactly how they line up - is still a mystery.

    Heck, I could never figure out whether I am left or right-brained either. But after the twirling dancer exercise I concluded that I'm completely right-brained. (kidding)

  3. #123
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    ...
    One thing I mentioned when I first came here and it's a major trait of mine (that I'd like to revisit if anyone has any new insight)is the whole issue of being very single-minded. What I mean is that I tend to have only one focus at at time. For example if I have a big project at work let's say it's 20 hours of work. I would feel compelled to work on it for 20 hours all together. Rather than work on it for 4 hours a day for 5 days. I might hardly get any sleep, I might barely take a shower, my mind will be consumed by this task until it comes to a logical ending point. I also go in these spurts with my interests - where all I can focus on is X for two weeks, then I lose X and go on to Y, X often comes back again (but not always). I think I missed a month of my life when I was 13 because I went to the library and got 10 books on The Beatles, stayed in my room the whole time reading and only came out for meals and bathroom breaks. Ok, I can hide it and work around it and I'm actually happier now that I'm allowing myself to have this work style. A doctor once told me that this was 'hyperfocusing' and asked me if I had any other symptoms of ADD but I don't. But this could just be a weird personal quirk and have nothing to do with MBTI. I've asked my husband "do you think I have time management problems?" and he says "you are an enigma" - on the one hand stuff gets done when you are in that MOOD, but then it might be 6 months before you are in that MOOD again! But you are productive every day in some capacity."
    This sounds more INFPish.

    My sister is an INFP. She's very idealistic. She loves to decorate her home and her garden is such a way as to make it seem like an IDEAL place. But she has to get herself into the mood, usually by deciding on a "theme" to build around.

    I think you may have to content yourself with a mix of ISFP/INFP.

    No description will fit you perfectly. There are other facets to our personalities that make us different from one another. MBTTheory is about how we think. It's how we take in information, how we output it, how we structure our lives based on our thinking.

    And I was the one who was right.
    You're supposed to think back to when you were young. Our core type never changes.
    Now that you're older you've mellowed out, you've picked up adaptations that just muddy the water.

    Don't lose sight of why it's good to know your type. It's so that you can understand why others are different from you, so that you can get along with others better. It's to help you work on your "possible blind spots" so you can be more balanced. If you already have that, then you are doing great!

    I like the descriptions at this web site:
    ISFP - Introverted Feeling with Sensing
    INFJ - Introverted Intuition with Feeling
    Sorry about the title.
    INFP IS on this page.

  4. #124
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    Thanks INTJMom!

    Do you mean mix of ISFP with INFJ or INFP?

  5. #125
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    Thanks INTJMom!

    Do you mean mix of ISFP with INFJ or INFP?
    I'm starting to think you're a mix of ISFP and INFP.



    Like I said, that page is mis-titled. (I have informed the webmaster.)

  6. #126
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    Great - thanks. Didn't see the disclaimer.

    Off to work now.

  7. #127
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Okay. I just re-read all your posts in this thread.

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    OMG yes! Unless, it's at least partly MY idea that we should change the plans (if the dancing looks boring for example). If I plan something that people want to change, especially at the last minute, my feelings are usually very hurt.
    Sounds more F.

    So I was just emailing this morning with my younger sister ... She also said that my mother has called me a 'wet-blanket!' I'm annoyed at that but my mother is probably an ISFP and doesn't have much common sense. I also disagree with the wet-blanket statement.
    I cannot fathom an ISFP without common sense. My ISTP husband is always complaining about people not having common sense. In my opinion, ISP types have the most common sense. Might you be mistaken about your Mom's type? If your mom is an INFP, then she might think you're a wet blanket because you tell people how unrealistic their ideas are (and to an ISP, the great majority of the ideas of an INFP are unrealistic).

    Question - I think I mentioned this in another thread, one of my big problems with working for myself is that I suck at self-promotion. I've only been is business for 1 1/2 years so how can I go out and tell the world that I'm the best decorator in the state? Maybe someone is better? Or if someone asks 'why should I hire you?' I never know what to say! I'm good at negotiating, and talking logically about my designs but pumping myself up - very hard. Does this mean I'm an Introvert?
    It's more complicated than that, and I haven't figured it out yet either.

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    ...
    The truth is that a little over a year ago I started a part-time decorating business because I couldn't stand being a housewife for one more day! I was unfullfilled and my self-esteem was at an all time low. I felt trapped in the house, like a slave for my family, and taken for granted by everyone. While I do the usual housewifey things, I really dislike being tied to my house.
    I can hear my ISFP friend saying this.

    ...For example, while I love to finish up projects, I also want a new one to dive into right away. I can't stand REALLY long-term projects that take forever. I want immediate, tangible results. That's why I 'install' most everything for my clients. I climb a ladder, mount the art, move the sofa, roll out the rug and light the candles. So while I do a good job ( I don't purposely rush) my philosophy: NEW PROJECT, WORK HARD........... NEXT!! Even with my daily stuff around the house, I might designate the hours of 11-1 to get things done, but I don't want to do what I did yesterday. I like novelty - PLANNED novelty! LOL
    Also sounds ISPish.

    Something else that may or may not be relevant is my educational history. Right after high school, I wen to university to study Economics. Why? I have no idea. I eventually switched to Political Science and History but didn't graduate. I liked the courses but honestly couldn't forsee myself working in any of these fields which is why I dropped out after 3 years. Then I worked a series of jobs like Office Space Leasing Agent - OK job, Receptinist at Veterinarian - worst job ever (liked the receptionist job but hated cleaning kennels and bathing cats), Sales clerk - loved it, modeling - I'm a bit short so I got jobs like swimsuit modeling, working auto-shows etc. I didn't like it all that much, WAY too focused on the exterior even for me and I'm really into fashion and beauty. Went back to school and eventually in my late 20's got a degree in Interior Design. I don't like everything to do with this career either but it's better than PoliSci.
    Sounds ISPish

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    ...
    I went to college to study economics originally. I think the idea was that I was going to eventually study law. I'm also very interested in money so it made sense at the time. ... I wanted a more hands-on, practical career - so I went to design school and have a degree in interior design.
    Sounds S.
    And now?
    Shop, hang out with my kids, go out with my husband for dinner and/or drinks, read books - self-help, gardening, cooking, personal finance/investments, wines, downhill ski, go to hockey games (we have season tickets), go to the club (pool & golf), this past summer I took golf lessons which I enjoyed, hiking, traveling (but I like familiar places best - Florida Keys, Sedona, Walt Disney World, Disneyland, Charleston, Myrtle Beach - I basically rotate those trips). I'm also a huge amusement park fan - every year I hit Disney, Cedar Point, King's Island and Canada's Wonderland. I'm also really into water-parks. So I don't really relax too much! Actually I don't relax .... period..... except when sleeping! LOL
    Sounds SP.

    Quote Originally Posted by alicia91 View Post
    Forced hubby to sit down with me today and go over all of it with me. It was torture for him (ENTJ with ADHD) but he knows me better than anyone else.

    1) He laughed his ass off when I told him I thought I was Extraverted. He said something to the effect of 'just because you go out for lunch once a weak with your girlfriends and say hello to the cashiers at the grocery store in no way makes you Extraverted........ (roaring laughter)' Okie-dokie then.

    2) Definately S - but I kind of knew that.

    3) T vs F - a bit harder but he claims that I'm more F than T. I make decisions based on how I feel rather than cold hard logic. But he says I have a way of making my decisions SOUND completely rational and logical so I come across as T. I think he's right. I also think that my F might be somewhat weak.

    4) He was so surprised that I hadn't figured this one out. J v P. He says I'm P but with enough J that I'm trying to improve my J skills and have to a large degree but I'm still P no matter how hard I try. Some examples he gave was when I moved from Canada to the US it took me about 5 years to close all my Canadian bank accounts, I'm still a Canadian citizen even though I've been here for 17 years - (just in case I want to move back). Despite this I have enough J to make me CARE about being organized and because I'm very picky about my surroundings I spent considerable time working on them. Yet details still can stress me out.

    I've read some of the online versions of ISFP and the one at Bestfittype sounds JUST like me, though other ones like Typelogic aren't so accurate. However, I have the book Do What You Are and the chapter in there that describes this type is very accurate, so it's definitely a possibility.
    Color and size added for effect.


    We should have just believed your husband!
    I would bet a Hershey Bar you are an ISFP.

  8. #128
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTJMom View Post
    (and to an ISP, the great majority of the ideas of an INFP are unrealistic).
    Speaking from experience with my INFP mom....yeah.

    I never really thought that she might interpret that as 'wet-blanketness', though.

  9. #129
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    See, now I think the INFJ and INFP descriptions in Do What You Are sound just like me too.

    My mother - oy boy, we are very similar in many ways but I think she has little common sense. I made the statement about her type when I probably shouldn't have said anything and didn't know what I was talking about (brand new here). She dropped out of high-school after 9th grade, married well, is always depending on a new man. Today she called me to invite me to her third wedding on April 19th. Her divorce was just final in October, but she's been living with this man for a year. I tell ya, she's 64, but I'm much more mature. She has absolutely no foresight, lives day to day and for the moment. Drives me nuts but I love her.

  10. #130
    Wannabe genius Splittet's Avatar
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    Honestly I think you should just try to learn more about the cognitive functions, and on that basis decide what your type is. You might not find a perfect match even based on cognitive functions, but I think you should be able to find a very decent one. It should be easier to find out if you are ISFP or INFP than if you are INFJ. Fi is a function quite easy to understand, while the dominant function of the INFJ, Ni, is probably the most difficult one to understand, so take your time when you try to understand it.

    Dichotomy thinking is honestly useless, and personally I consider it past in my understanding of MBTI. I think back on my early MBTI days with dichotomy thinking, and can't help but feel my understanding was very shallow, and that I understand so much more now. It seems like you as well are discovering all the joys of function theory.

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