• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

I don't want to end up with a guy who's just like my dad...

Randomnity

insert random title here
Joined
May 8, 2007
Messages
9,485
MBTI Type
ISTP
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
There's no harm in trying to nip it in the bud.
Yes, there is, if "trying to nip it in the bud" involves using typology in a manner for which it was never designed, to avoid people based on two assumptions: your estimate of your father's type and your estimate of the new acquaintance's type. Not to mention the further assumption that two people of the same type (if indeed they are) will have equally dysfunctional relationships, which is absolutely incorrect.

You would be better off thinking about a list of potential "red flag" behaviours that may indicate unhealthy attitudes, which are unlikely to correlate much if at all with personality type.
 

Virtual ghost

Complex paradigm
Joined
Jun 6, 2008
Messages
19,830
... so please help me type him, so that can help me avoiding guys like him. He's a bit of a pain in the ass and it took a long time until my mother realized what person he really was.

Isn't this a pointless question ? (at least if this is the real reason of asking it)


I mean the odds are that you will first realize what kind of a person some guy is before you will figure out his type. Actually I am not sure you can do it the the other way around.
 

Venom

Babylon Candle
Joined
Feb 10, 2008
Messages
2,126
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
1w9
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Here we go again. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. My Mommy is mean so she's ESTJ.

I agree that your dad is an ESTJ. He sounds like my mom. A few things they have in common (just a few because your dad and my mom match traits from pretty much your whole list)

- Loves attention
- Embarrasses me in front of other people and either gets angry at me or demeans me when I point it out
- Can point out and discuss my faults all day long, but if I point out her faults she gets angry and defensive to the point of excess
- Becomes passive-agressive and sarcastic when I offend her, manipulative
- Would force me to go to social situations of her choosing (even paid me cash to go to church when I began to push away from it)
- Would ask me to bring things to her that are literally within arms reach when I am across the room
- When she gets hooked on a song she will listen to nothing but that song on repeat for days, sometimes weeks, at top volume
- Purposefully does things that irritate and piss me off to amuse herself (this behavior has been remarked upon by others)
- If I don't agree with her or listen to what she says, she accuses me of thinking I'm soooo important and soooo much better than her to think that I can just make my own decisions without listening to anyone else (irony, there)

Yep, ESTJ.

I believe your father is an ESTJ. My father was an abusive ENTJ, more than likely because he came from an abusive household himself. He was capable of seeing the bigger picture, was very driven and successful and was always at the top because he would settle for nothing less. He worked very hard, was always traveling for business, and had goals and plans. He was successful at anything he set his mind to.

He loved money, not because he cared about himself, but because it was a representation of power and success.

Arguing and debating were fun things for him, and he respected those who could "fight back."

He could be whiny and manipulative and when I learned to do it in turn he called me "spirited."

Interestingly enough he married an ENFP, my mother.

one more vote for ESTJ
 

mrcockburn

Aquaria
Joined
Jan 3, 2010
Messages
1,896
MBTI Type
¥¤
Enneagram
3w4
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
... so please help me type him, so that can help me avoiding guys like him. He's a bit of a pain in the ass and it took a long time until my mother realized what person he really was.

- My father is a teacher. He chose this profession, because he only knew two professions, which were teacher and carpenter. Then he chose to become a teacher because he was too clumsy to become a carpenter.
- Loves getting attention.
- Has a warm charisma.
- He once tried to write a book. When no one wanted to publish that one book, he gave up on writing. He doesn't want me to write stuff either.
- When he visits someone, he starts talking about his problems immediately.
- He hates psychologists.
- He loves making a fool of me in front of others and when I ask him to stop, he tells me that I shouldn't ask him to stop, because if I do that, I'm being unsocial.
- When I make a fool of him (I'm nice enough to do that when no one is around), he becomes angry and starts yelling and kicking.
- Violent, a yeller.
- A few years ago, he ruined the car of one of our neighbors, because he was burning rubber in his back yard.
- Last week, I went to a party and I arrived home early because it was to boring. I told my father about this boringness. He immediately wanted to know which people where attending the party and who of them was boring. He didn't get it when I told him that the whole party was boring, and he asked me again which people at that party were boring. I didn't answer, because there were just too many people at that party. His response: "You expect way too much of other people!!! Like you're so dynamic!" Okay...
- He loves talking about his day at work and the people he hates and why he hates them.
- When my mother or I start telling about our day, he refuses to listen, because it's boring. Therefor my father doesn't know anything about what happened in my life from age 12 till now.
- When my father is downstairs and I am upstairs doing my homework, my father frequently asks me to come downstairs to open the door for our cat.
- Sneezes very loudly (you can hear it 200 meters away!).
- Loves routine and doesn't quite get me, because I don't like routine.
- Plans everything and he doesn't get it when I get on the train without even knowing where I would like to go.
- After he graduated from his university, he stayed unemployed for another 20years, because "working will never pay off anyway".
- Makes strange connections between things, that simply don't make sense.
- When he just downloaded a song, he plays it on the loudest volume, the whole evening, every day, until he gets bored of it. Then doesn't listen to anything else.
- During dinner, he turns on Sesame Street, because after Sesame Street they always play this annoying song that I absolutely hate. When that song starts, he sings along with it very loudly, just to annoy me.
- Eats tomatoes all day long, because they're healthy. What he doesn't know, is that all these tomatoes cause his diarrhea. His diarrea is so bad, that appearantly he has to take off his glasses before he goes to the bathroom.
- Hates teenagers.
- Hates parties.
- Hates dogs.
- Loves cats.
- Coughs all day long (even though he never smoked)
- Makes vomitting sounds while brushing his teeth.
- When he just went to the bathroom, he first goes to another room and when he reached the outher room (meanwhile he already touched about 3 door handles) THEN he washes his hands. When someone asks him why he doesn't use the tap in the bathroom, he says he just doesn't like that tap. Eww.
- Doesn't accept it when someone doesn't agree with him and he accuses people who don't agree with him from "always disagreeing woth everyone just because they like disagreeing with everyone!!!".
- Manipulates.


:alttongue: I nearly "P"-ed my pants laughing at some of these. Vomiting sounds while brushing his teeth?? Heehee... :D

Seriously though, give the man a BREAK, with some of these. He's just a human, with bodily functions that aren't exactly glamorous. I always get my hairs all over the house, but that's because I'm I have thick, long hair (and a lot of it), not because I'm an ENTP. (However, I may not obsess about vacuuming them up every day because I'm ENTP...)

As for his traits that are more "problems" than "quirks", I'd say they sounded quite ENFJ, just going letter-by-letter. Everyone seems to peg him as a "Thinker", possibly because he's a male, but he appears to be very much ruled by his emotions. This is just based off of what you wrote, though.

Obviously, not all ENFJ's are clumsy, not all have listening problems, and not all of them shit ketchup.
 
Top