OK, I always test online as INFP, or INFp/ 4w5. With most of it I'm like "Yep, that's me for sure" but then sometimes I'm like "Hmmm, I dunno" And I guess I'd just like to have people confirm it, or say what they think I am, heh. I don't always feel nice enough to be an INFP!
For what it's worth, I've been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety, and didn't have the best upbringing ever.
I'm pretty much a loner. I'm hardly ever interested in going out, I'd rather stay in and listen to music, use the internet, watch TV etc. With that said, I get very attached to my boyfriend (and others in the past) and like to spend as much time as possible with him. But sometimes when I am with him, I'm thinking about what I'll do when I'm alone - which is the same as always. When I'm not with him, I'm often thinking about what I'll do when I am! And I'm looking forward to living together. I tend to rely on people a lot. I both love and hate people and the world. Sometimes I get so upset and pissed off at people, the world, and the way things are. Then other times I'll cry because I feel such love for certain people, and the world. I both want to take care of people, hug them and heal their wounds I know (or assume) they have, and want to kick them! Some people think I'm really sweet, someone to turn to,but then some think I'm selfish, ungrateful and harsh. Honestly, I think I'm both.
The majority of my thoughts are about me, the people I care about, the world at large. It's often in a worrying way (anixety at play?) Worrying that my boyfriend will leave me, looking back on things I said/done and worrying that I hurt someone. And another BIG one with me is worrying that I'm letting people take advantage of me. I dunno, I just have this thing that I don't want to be walked-over and used (this most probably is from childhood experiences) Other than worrying, I think about the world and how amazing and weird it is that it even exsists. I think about why were all here, what is the purpose, etc. I get stuck on the past and the future. I have a very hard time staying in the here and now. I really want to live in the moment more. I find it hard to enjoy things because I'm wondering what will happend after it, or if it goes wrong etc. I like to know things. I like to know when something is going to happen, what time, etc. and like to have that done. I am however HORRIBLE at making decisions, and would rather somebody else makes it for me in most cases. I'm nearly always late, and I leave everything to the last minute. But I have to know what's going to happen before it happens, if that makes sense? If someone says "I'll let you know tomorrow" I'm like "Noooo!!!!! Please tell me now!!!!!!!!!!!"
I mostly show a serious, moody me. I've offended people many-a-time because they think I'm being rude to them, when I'm not, it's just the way I am. I'm quiet, I can't speak too loud, and loud people drain me and make me want to cry. I just can't deal with people that are too in-your-face. UGH! However I have a silly switch where I'll just randomly go all silly, child-like I guess. And sometimes people think I'm so funny. I tend to agree...sometimes. I don't do small talk, I have no use for it really. But get me started on something I find interesting, and I will talk for HOURS. That's usually something that's considerd deep and/or spiritual. Or like debating important (to me) issues. I don't LIKE conflict, and sometimes I'll shut up if I think it's not important enough to argue. But if there's a subject I think is important, and/or someone has really hurt me, I will stand my ground. I won't be some weakling, and I CAN be harsh. My mum has said I know the right thing to say to someone to hurt them. And somehow I do. I won't do that though unless they've seriously hurt me, or done something very immoral. I'd prefer to talk things through, but that can't always be done. WHen someone HAS struck a deep chord in me, I can find it hard to give up. I'll want to keep prodding them. I also have a thing where if I totally disagree with somebodies opinion, it really frustrates me!
My biggest passions are music, writing, reading, children, causes (usually to help people that are hurting, such as Samaritans which I put an application in for), Spirituality. I LOVE finding music with lyrics I can relate to, that I can also feel the passion in. I write lyrics, poetry,stories, and random thoughts and feelings. I dress in a kinda Alternative/ Rock Chick way, and like to look a bit different. I have a big thing about "Chavs" and people that follow the crowd, look boring and samey to me. I'm also proud of the fact I'm pretty deep/abstract/different from most my age. It's like a bittersweet thing though, because sometimes I think life would be so much easier if I fitted in more. But theennn I think ewww, no thank you. I can make friends when I want to, but they're usually not on a deep enough level to me. I'm not down with the endless shallow talk that most my age are all about, and I'm not interested in clubbing really. I get on better with older people in general.
When I was a kid I was basicaly the same as I am now. I was always such a scaredy cat, I would never dare climb the monkey bars or whatever incase I get hurt, and would cringe when others would. I retreated into my own little fantasy world a lot of the time (could be because thigns weren't good around me) I made believe a lot. Was always praised for my writing ability (stories, poetry) and acting. When I was 6 I decided I was going to become a vegeterian. When I was told it was ACTUAL fish that swam in the sea I was eating, I was absolutely shocked, confused, and disgusted at the fact people ate animals. I swore I'd never eat animals again, and kept it up for 7 years. I keep thinking about going back to it!
Aright, I'd better leave it there. Whos'e up for it? Any questions, please feel free to ask.