As will become apparent if you read this mess, this is sort of just a list of things that bug me about my roommate. Sorry. She is among my few best friends, but I have never in my life experienced a love-hate relationship approaching anywhere near this extent. Usually we're fine for a couple weeks and then I get really, really mad at her for a few days. Well, guess what part of the cycle we're at now.
-She seems to see responsibilities, in terms of personal relationships, in black and white. Once, she kept me awake by talking to my other roommate late at night (at a normal volume, but our walls are thin). The next morning, I asked her if they could talk in another room, if they ever did that again. Her first reaction was to say, "I think I have the right to talk where I want in my apartment!" Then I said, "Of course you have the right, but it would be nice if you didn't." Her reaction, silent, was kind of as if she was thinking, "Oh, right. Being nice."
-A pushover, and non-confrontational, which usually means complaining to me when somebody else has offended her. We go to lunch as a big group, and she pays with her credit card, and we all pay her cash. People ask her, several times, if she has gotten the right amount, and she says "Oh, yes, of course!" Then, days later, I mention going out and she complains that she ended up paying twice what she owed the last time.
-Weird about her appearance. She always talks about how fat and ugly she is, yet she doesn't seem to really care about what she looks like in terms of putting any effort into it. She goes outside in the most ridiculous things (like these ripped up pajama pants which are unbelievably horrible); after we tell her she looks ridiculous, she looks in the mirror, agrees, and then goes out anyway. She never lets anyone take pictures of her. She calls perfectly good looking women horribly fat and ugly all the time.
-She loves to talk about how dysfunctional she isóbut she's not. She gets straight A's, does all the cleaning, and takes care of the bills. She always calls herself a drunk and a drug addict, when she rarely drinks or smokes week and doesn't use anything else. She has the weirdest attitude toward cleaning, like she sees it as something that has do be done not because it's dirty, but because cleaning is just something you have to do.
-Weird with food. She likes a variety of cuisines, but, for instance, always orders the same dish from this Thai restaurant. She said she was starting to get sick of it, and didn't want to eat there anymore. I said, "Well, maybe you should order something besides pad thai" but that was apparently an unreasonable suggestion. She realizes how crazy she is about this, and seems to get a kick out of how annoying I find it.
-I would say she's an introvert, but nowhere near the extent to which I am. She likes to have parties, but is quiet and plays housekeeper the whole time (whereas I hide in my room). But when she's upset she wants to be alone, which generally entails taking walks in the East Village alone at 4 am.
Hopefully that isn't just dumb venting and is specific enough for you to help me type her. Any advice you may have on getting along with her better would be very welcome.