Hey, I'll try this. I'm so confused about my type...
I know that I'm Introverted and iNtuitive. I also think I know that I'm a Feeler but I'm not sure about that. There are things in both INFP and INFJ descriptions that make me go "wtf, that's not me". But let's see... I'll write about my childhood and youth a bit because that's when the personality develops and shows at its purest. I think it would help me to evaluate my type if you could tell me your interpretation about wether this story has more Fe or Fi; more Ne or Ni; more Te or Ti.
As a child, I was very shy. I had few friends. I remember I was always smiling because I wanted to please other people, especially adults, and I had a feeling that adults wanted to see me happy. I was utterly stressed out whenever someone asked what I wanted for myself, like: "Do you want a piece of cake?" All I wanted was to please other people, so I always tried to come up with an answer that would please the other person when faced with situations like that.
I had imaginary friends and I played a lot by myself. I felt very proud when someone asked me to play with him/herself-- I wanted to scream: "Look, this person wants to play with me! I'm special! I'm accepted!" But that didn't happen very often. Usually other kids left me by myself, at times they even consciously excluded me from their plays, which left a deep sense of inferiority in me.
My teacher was mean. She didn't understand children at all. As a child, I was very slow in my movements and deep in my own thoughts (later I've been diagnosed with ADD), and my teacher interpretted that as malevolence and punished me for it. That was another thing that made me feel inferior.
As I and my peers grew, I felt somehow left behind. I still wanted to play and stay in my imaginary world. I wasn't interested in drinking, partying etc. I was shocked to find out at about 15 that other kids in my class actually drank a lot of alcohol.
I had become a little bit more extraverted and social, though, because I had made a special friend, a "best friend", and we had a nice little circle of friends. I was quite happy.
But then at about 16 something in me changed again and I became withdrawing and angry at myself. I started cutting myself. I was quite ambitious about my schoolwork. Excelling at school and being praised by teachers was the most important thing in my life at that time. Obviously I realised it because I wrote in my diary that my self-esteem was made of my school grades.
I am very absent-minded. I try to organise my life. I write notes and to do -lists and try to follow a schedule but it's difficult because I'm very forgetful and nondisciplined.
I am shy. The years of my childhood and youth have left me with an "incomplete" self-esteem. In the past few years, I have become more self-confident but I still feel and appear shy.
I am intellectual. I am interested in especially philosophy, prehistory (how life on Earth began, how we evolved from bioplasm, how different the climate has been on different eras), logic and mathematics (what infinity means, what limits are made of, how each route of reasoning leads to the same conclusions etc).
My thoughts about the world
I believe in God. I have not always believed-- I lost my faith at about 19 (because I noticed that my thinking included flaws)-- but I have started to believe again. Faith enrichens my experience of life a lot. It gives me a sense of purpose and beauty. It justifies my belief in intrinsic values. However, it continues to disappoint me to see how ugly organised religion can be. I have a vision of how beautiful shared religion could be but I don't know if masses of people will ever be able to see that. Probably not.
I want to do something good and valuable in my life. I have a few secret dreams that I hope will come true one day.
I want to always learn more and understand things better.
I believe in forgiveness.
So I tried to give a full description of myself in a nutshell even though it is very difficult. I had to leave some things out, and tomorrow I undoubtedly will feel that I wrote something that was incorrect or that I should have emphasized something else. But this was my best shot at describing myself at this point, and I look forward to any insights.
Thank you very much. *hug*