Sometimes I wonder about the chicken and egg quality when I hear people mention the rather drab conversations they have with SJs. How much of it is people being "typed" SJs because they like to talk about things that don't interest the other person? Similarly, how many SJs are mistyped by others because they don't like talking about the latest gossip, or something practical?
That's a good point. I try and look at the person as a whole. I've known several ISTJs who weren't into small talk or gossip. However, there's a manner in speaking that says sensor to me, less so than the topic of discussion.
Anyway, I don't dislike ESFJs, but I find them and ESTJs the quickest to form negative assumptions about me because I am quiet and offbeat. Sometimes they grate on my nerves with their conversation style and general interests, which are dull to me, and they can be too loud and nosy.
On the other hand, ESFJs can be extremely warm and nurturing and make a shy person like me feel more comfortable. It all depends on how open they are to "different" personalities. My own ESFJ grandma is very critical of people she doesn't understand, and even though she adores me, she has struggled at times to accept my temperament. Once ESFJs decide they care about someone, they'll overlook a lot of their quirks though.
As brought out, outside of an MBTI forum, most people like ESFJs and they tend to set the standard for social interaction and what is "normal" behavior. They just need to remember that everyone is not like them and to appreciate that fact.
and so on and so forth. don't let it get to you and welcome to the community!
from one cold hearted bastard to another.
