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  1. #41
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Space_Oddity View Post
    Yeah, this is also true. It's not that I don't 'like' ESFJs, it's just that it's hard for me to connect with them on any other level than this. We talk about relationships and clothing, and that's about the end of it. I find it enjoyable, but not exactly 'fulfilling'. Besides, they usually find me 'weird', so we don't have much opportunity to really get to know each other in the first place.
    Yeah, the thing about not being "normal" equals bad. Drives me nut. But again, these are broad generalizations.

    Quote Originally Posted by spamtar View Post
    Just be thankfull your not an ESTJ
    I don't know - I love ETSJs. So much easier for me to "get". I learned to deal with their overly detailed way of telling stories just as much as they learned to deal with my recurring lethargy. But at the end of the day, they like to get shit done and I like to come up with shit to get done, so we get along pretty well.

  2. #42
    Plumage and Moult proteanmix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kenneth Almighty View Post
    The ESFJs I know are unfunny party poopers.

    At their best, they try to hoard attention and then have no idea on what to do with it when they have it. At worst, they realize this fact and then go out of their way to ruin everyone else's fun.

    I'd however respect the possibility of me being extremely biased, as I'm going off of an ESFJ friend and a sister, here.
    Wow, an ENTP calling someone an attention whore. It's like that video I saw of a killer whale eating a great white shark. Unheard of!!

    ttrim hasn't been back to forum since s/he made this thread. Which is unfortunate because had they stayed they would've gained cool points and transitioned to the enviable list of OK ESxJs. Well, enviable on this little speck of the internet but as long as you're in The In Crowd it doesn't matter. I mean we have our own social structure and hierarchy here as well where the more closely you align with this forum's definition of "normal" (ostracized, misunderstood, hurt, disembodied) you are essentially the forum ESFJs.
    Relationships have normal ebbs and flows. They do not automatically get better and better when the participants learn more and more about each other. Instead, the participants have to work through the tensions of the relationship (the dialectic) while they learn and group themselves and a parties in a relationships. At times the relationships is very open and sharing. Other time, one or both parties to the relationship need their space, or have other concerns, and the relationship is less open. The theory posits that these cycles occur throughout the life of the relationship as the persons try to balance their needs for privacy and open relationship.
    Interpersonal Communication Theories and Concepts
    Social Penetration Theory 1
    Social Penetration Theory 2
    Social Penetration Theory 3

  3. #43
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    Sometimes I wonder about the chicken and egg quality when I hear people mention the rather drab conversations they have with SJs. How much of it is people being "typed" SJs because they like to talk about things that don't interest the other person? Similarly, how many SJs are mistyped by others because they don't like talking about the latest gossip, or something practical?

  4. #44
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by proteanmix View Post
    Wow, an ENTP calling someone an attention whore. It's like that video I saw of a killer whale eating a great white shark. Unheard of!!
    HAHAHA. What a riot.

  5. #45
    Senior Member Space_Oddity's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruthie View Post
    Sometimes I wonder about the chicken and egg quality when I hear people mention the rather drab conversations they have with SJs. How much of it is people being "typed" SJs because they like to talk about things that don't interest the other person? Similarly, how many SJs are mistyped by others because they don't like talking about the latest gossip, or something practical?
    Well, I agree with you to a certain degree. I mistyped my ISTJ boyfriend and one of my close friends as INTJs because they both have very high Ne and they're much more abstract than many other SJs I know. But then, typology is not that much of a science, and when I see that one of my friend is definitely very clever and interesting, but (from my point of view) very 'uncomplicated' when it comes to abstract business dealing with feelings (i.e. totally digs the kind of esoteric literature that seems very deep, but actually isn't), and our conversations mostly consist of her telling me everything about her day into the most mundane details, it leaves me with Si dominant, specifically ISFJ. That doesn't mean that I don't find her very sweet and that I'm not fond of her, but it also means she's SJ. I'm quite confident to say that now I can safely recognize every SJ after I get to know them, and I certainly don't type someone SJ only because we have nothing to talk about. I type them SJ because they are SJ, and I often like them more than many NFs or NTs, if this is what you're driving at. I was also talking specifically about ESFJs I know, not every ESFJ in the world, let alone every SJ in the world.

  6. #46
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruthie View Post
    Sometimes I wonder about the chicken and egg quality when I hear people mention the rather drab conversations they have with SJs. How much of it is people being "typed" SJs because they like to talk about things that don't interest the other person? Similarly, how many SJs are mistyped by others because they don't like talking about the latest gossip, or something practical?
    That's a good point. I try and look at the person as a whole. I've known several ISTJs who weren't into small talk or gossip. However, there's a manner in speaking that says sensor to me, less so than the topic of discussion.

    Anyway, I don't dislike ESFJs, but I find them and ESTJs the quickest to form negative assumptions about me because I am quiet and offbeat. Sometimes they grate on my nerves with their conversation style and general interests, which are dull to me, and they can be too loud and nosy.

    On the other hand, ESFJs can be extremely warm and nurturing and make a shy person like me feel more comfortable. It all depends on how open they are to "different" personalities. My own ESFJ grandma is very critical of people she doesn't understand, and even though she adores me, she has struggled at times to accept my temperament. Once ESFJs decide they care about someone, they'll overlook a lot of their quirks though.

    As brought out, outside of an MBTI forum, most people like ESFJs and they tend to set the standard for social interaction and what is "normal" behavior. They just need to remember that everyone is not like them and to appreciate that fact.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #47
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    because my mom is one! get used to it. everybody is the most hated type. infp=emotional little wuss. enfp=never grows up. entj=most evil people ever! and so on and so forth. don't let it get to you and welcome to the community!

  8. #48
    Senior Member SecantSquared's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by corey_vann View Post
    because my mom is one! get used to it. everybody is the most hated type. infp=emotional little wuss. enfp=never grows up. entj=most evil people ever! and so on and so forth. don't let it get to you and welcome to the community!
    so us INTJs aren't hated, then? or at least there is no reason to hate us?
    When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
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  9. #49
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    Quote Originally Posted by SecantSquared View Post
    so us INTJs aren't hated, then? or at least there is no reason to hate us?
    no, there just wasn't enough space for how terrible you all are.

  10. #50
    Senior Member SecantSquared's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by corey_vann View Post
    no, there just wasn't enough space for how terrible you all are.
    ah, well, care to enlighten me?
    When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
    - Bernard Bailey
    It is bad luck to be superstitious.
    - Andrew W. Mathis

    sp/sx/so

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