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  1. #1
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    Default Help deciphering a type?

    I have a new boyfriend and I am trying to figure out his type. I could have him take an online test, but in general, I feel they are somewhat unreliable.

    I've ruled out NT and I'm leaning towards an S preference over NF.

    Here are some of his characteristics:

    -We have similar interaction styles, so I'm leaning towards a "Chart the Course" one or something similar. We seem to be exactly alike with hating to be late, anticipating the next move, planning in advance, and needing to make definite plans - where we're going, what time, etc so we can plan the rest of our day accordingly (and know if we need to eat first, what to wear, etc). Both of us get anxious with uncertainty in day to day life. This seems very Ni to me.

    -He does not initiate conversation - hell, I had to do it when we met & that's not my bag either. He comes across as quiet, but seems to get downright chatty once he's comfortable with you - something I do as well. I'm thinking this makes him introverted, but I'm not sure. He doesn't seem to embarass easily at all & has a goofy side to him that he readily shows others - but more in a prankster kind of way.

    -Very active. He runs marathons, works as a personal trainer, and wakes up early every day to run an ungodly amount of miles. Seems to be driven by accomplishment, though, and constantly sets goals for himself. Where Se seems to feed my Ni to accomplish, Ni seems to feed his Se to accomplish.

    -Very artistic. His drawings are detailed, rather than flowy. They don't seem to be too abstract, either. He's also into photography & is rather good at it.

    -Not much of a school person, but will take a class here and there to learn a skill that he needs for his art or personal training.

    -Expressive with his feelings towards me, moreso than I am to him. He also enjoys taking care of me & those close to him. However, he doesn't have that humanitarian bent that NF's tend to have. He readily makes decisions, but I'm unsure about whether they are based on logic or feelings. He's very affectionate.

    -The main thing he provides in the relationship is stability & security. He calls when he says he will and is very consistent in general. He's a relationship person instead of a play the field person.

    -His explanations and thoughts tend to be more on the concrete side of things, but it's possible I just haven't initiated more theoretical conversations yet. Still, I notice when I meet N's, we immediately start diving into the abstract.

    I'm inclined to think he's some sort of SJ or possibly ISTP? My hesistance on the SJ is that he doesn't seem particularly rooted in tradition and doesn't really expect me to take on a traditional "girlfriend" role. Also, he seems to use Se quite a bit. What are your thoughts?

  2. #2
    almost nekkid scantilyclad's Avatar
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    isfj maybe?
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  3. #3
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    I would think ISFJ, but since you don't see much tradition-orientation and some Se, I'll go with ISFP. Don't know why, really. ISTP wouldn't normally be that comfortable with expressiveness since they have inferior Fe.

    I'm actually beginning to think people have overestimated the influence of the SP temperament in the case of IS_P's. Some ISTP's actually seem more towards the NT side in their interests, yet still somehow more concrete. I notice even more that ISFP's seem very much like INFP's, the only real difference being a couple less abstract interests and a bit more practicality, but basically the same make up/vibes.

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    I would think ISFJ, but since you don't see much tradition-orientation and some Se, I'll go with ISFP. Don't know why, really. ISTP wouldn't normally be that comfortable with expressiveness since they have inferior Fe.
    ISTP sounds like a possibility. But he generally fits ISFP better... the only incongruity is his discipline with his jogging. Often ISFP males have a very hard time adhering to a rigorous program of any sort, they are too "go with the flow." This is the sort of thing that ISTPs do better, because they use "T" to justify to themselves the need to stick to the routine.

    Still, if someone believes in something enough, or wants to do it badly enough, or has already developed a routine or has some specific goal they can articulate, they are capable of intense discipline.

    So I would say ISFP if I had to pick a type for him... but that is only a guess.
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  5. #5
    Glowy Goopy Goodness The_Liquid_Laser's Avatar
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    I think he's ISFJ. Don't let the tradition thing fool you too much. I have an ISJ friend and while he doesn't follow a lot of set traditions, he's not a nonconformist either. Also if you get to know him really well you see that he has mixed feelings about tradition, sort of a love/hate relationship. Anyway the guy you are describing sounds like an ISFJ.
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  6. #6
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    Thanks for your responses!

    The Se is what is throwing me. He just simply does not seem to be Si dominant, but I suppose my impression of Si dominant is my ISTJ father so I am not sure how it would manifest in an ISFJ. If it weren't for that, I'd choose an SJ. My hesistance with ISFP (and ISFJ, actually) is the interaction style. I have an INFP brother & an INTP close friend who supposingly share the same "Behind the Scenes" interaction style with ISFP & ISFJ. My current boyfriend seems to differ from them in this way.

    I should just have him take the test, but this is a bit more fun... haha.

  7. #7
    The Destroyer Colors's Avatar
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    Your description sounds staunchly ISFJ.
    J: (first paragraph) on time, planning
    I: (second paragraph) quiet at first- many I's are chatty in more familiar/intimate situations

    Being expressive of his feelings towards you sounds like Fe. And the taking care of people thing sounds very SFJ. You don't have to be Se dominant to enjoy physical activity. I'm not that close to any ISFJs, but I do have a close ESTJ friend and she loves physical activity- as well as the drive and accomplishment (and maybe some relaxation) that comes with it.

  8. #8
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    Hmm. I do see the Fe. I see it a lot with how he talks about his family, as well. He also uses words similar to myself when I use my Fe.

    I guess I always associated my anticipatory planning with my Ni. How does that differ when Si is driving it?

  9. #9
    Senior Member INTJMom's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by athenian200 View Post
    ...I'm actually beginning to think people have overestimated the influence of the SP temperament in the case of IS_P's. Some ISTP's actually seem more towards the NT side in their interests, yet still somehow more concrete. I notice even more that ISFP's seem very much like INFP's, the only real difference being a couple less abstract interests and a bit more practicality, but basically the same make up/vibes.
    I agree with you.

  10. #10
    insert random title here Randomnity's Avatar
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    He sounds to me like either an ISFJ or an ISTP who's comfortable expressing emotions. Yes, I realise those are two very, very different types. For some reason I don't see IXFP in that description. I find that IXFPs are very easy to identify in RL, they just give off a certain vibe.

    Most of that describes me, other than the expressing emotions part.

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