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  1. #1
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Default Type one of my best friends, please?

    I have her pegged as ESxx.

    I tried to go by functional preference, and didn't get much head-way.

    She does not show:

    - a lot of Ne; unfiltered Ne she, in rare cases, finds amusing, and when she respects it is when it's Ne+Ti [makes sense], but, overall, she gets quite exasperated by it as evidenced by her reaction to seeing me (ENTP) and her sister (ENFP) converse about random shyte in 'weird' ways. She finds it innocent and charming, but, with a tinge of 'ohhh boyyy, here we go again!'

    - a lot of Te, but she reveres this a lot in others.

    ****

    I tried to go by temperament and I am not confident in distinctly placing her in either SP or SJ.

    ****

    * More risk-taker than myself.
    * Has a good background in customer service, even though she doesn't really want to be in this field [like it that much], but, in general, she has a lot of random friends and acquiantances.
    * Values a lot of little 'symbolism'/traditional rituals, finds understanding and romanticism in certain 'ways of things' and why/how they should be followed, but, her own evaluation of whether it's "universally" a right or wrong mindset will trump tradition, always.
    - she is very quick to get worked up about stuff, and will spew it out right then and there. To her, it relieves anxiety and frustration of the thought mulling over and over, so she'd rather deal with it in the moment. She's been trying to have more on a handle on her trigger-reaction. Although, IMO, she does give a few strikes before the person is OUT, such that, just like me, when they don't heed the strikes, she will lash out verbally at them.
    - has a lot of confusion/conflict with how her sister perceives the world (ENFP), finds her sister often time illogical (which, I'd agree, she is, but it's easier for me to see her sister's way of thinking/justification, while she will dismiss it as....'but that's just stupid!'). She often feels she's right in such judgements against her sister cuz she's like a parent (older sis) to her. Her sister feels she criticizes her too much and picks on little things.
    - she, to my confusion at times, often ascribes what a person "morally" should to, and finds it frustrating when they don't. When I tell her that, a person SHOULD do that, but doesn't mean that they will, she can't understand how that is any relevant counter. (Fe?)
    - when she recalls something, she goes into a LOT of details and doesn't skip anything. Sometimes, she gets very stuck on recalling something as true, when, I can remember it not happening as she recalls....she gets 'tricked' by Si, sometimes???
    - She is def. an in-the-moment type of person. She lives to feel a moment. I see very clearn Se preference in her.
    - We both arrive at the same conclusion about what to do/a person's action, but, it seems I give 'words' to why a to b to c, to which she responds, "YES! EXACTLY. I couldn't exactly describe why but yes, THAT is why!" I find a lot more subtle things that she misses to bring in as evidence, while she uses an in-the-moment example. I think it's our shared respect for the process of Ti.
    - She is in touch with how she feels/wants, and is vocal about that not being disrespected.
    - She can read too much into something/someone, and jump to conclusions about them, sometimes almost extremes. Like, "They're evil." When, after another interaction with them, she will have changed her mind on them. She knows that I don't like how she has 'all these judgements'.
    - She is very street-smart, knows what info to keep and give out and when.
    - Sometimes, people find her over-friendly and may mistake her friendliness as something 'more'. E.g., she feels that if a person has nice eyes, they should know, doesn't matter if it's a grandma, a child or a dude. But, a dude will think it's cuz she's flirting, and she's not.
    - in large groups, she's not very talkative as she is 1 on 1.
    - she doesn't like being alone, if there's long periods of alone-time, she's finding people to call to make the time go by.
    - she has tested/challenged A LOT of the traditions of what being female in her culture is expected to be.
    - she says that she may seem more harsh to those closest to her, because what they do/think matters to her personal sphere, hence, why she is way nicer to strangers than to friends.
    - in arguments, she's not as stubborn as me. She will be the first to reach out to sort it out, while I can keep the 'fuck that shit' distance for a while if she didn't intervene and keep wanting to sort it out.
    - I think her ISFJ best friend had a lot of influence of SJ temperament on her, they were really close [spent a lot of time together for 6 years], and she acknowledges the shaping of herself through this friend and how a lot of the ways she thinks/interprets she wouldn't have unless she had that kind of exposure to said ISFJ friend. They had an older-sis/younger sis relation where the ISFJ wanted someone to nurture to the max. and my best friend, she perceived to, 'naively need' that nurturing. Which my ESxx friend took, she was taken care of a lot by ISFJ friend, and of recent [after the ISFJ friend got married], she had to refocus on herself and her own identity beyond the duo. Most obviously thing taken from this influential friendship is her judgements she has, and she's been trying to be less harsh in those ways. But, she's also learned how to 'read' people through this ISFJ.
    - she also has known a lot of interesting and shady characters, so her 'jumping to the worst/shadiest conclusions' may have roots in that.

  2. #2
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    Maybe ESFP. I'm not sure about the J/P though.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Saslou's Avatar
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    ESFx
    “I made you take time to look at what I saw and when you took time to really notice my flower, you hung all your associations with flowers on my flower and you write about my flower as if I think and see what you think and see—and I don't.”
    ― Georgia O'Keeffe

  4. #4
    Senior Member Tyrant's Avatar
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    She can read too much into something/someone, and jump to conclusions about them, sometimes almost extremes. Like, "They're evil." When, after another interaction with them, she will have changed her mind on them. She knows that I don't like how she has 'all these judgements'.
    Clear Fe preference and dominance - ESFj.
    INTP | IEI - INFp

  5. #5
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrant View Post
    Clear Fe preference and dominance - ESFj.
    I think it shows her child-like handle on Fe more than a dominance of the function. The dominance of the function wouldn't lead her to jumping to such rash conclusions as it would if it were in the tertiary position [not fully developed]. Given that the culture she grew up in, has a lot of specific expectations of females and their roles, I think her F is more of an apparent face she wears to the outside world, even if functionally she prefers T before F.

    My other best friend is ESFJ, the jumping-to-conclusions things happens with her, but it's a very F-tinged jumping to conclusion. You want me to feel this, you wanted to do THIS to me. While my ESxx best friend's jumping-to-conclusion is something particular to that external person, no correlation to how it makes HER feel. She finds such people irrelevant to her sphere of influence, so how they made her feel is irrelevant, she just wants to point out their 'idiotic behaviour' and what they're trying to show of themselves, while my ESFJ friend would and is influenced by such people [e.g., hurt].

    As such, I dunno why, I've been thinking: ESTp - Se Ti Fe Ni

  6. #6
    Geolectric teslashock's Avatar
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    Necessary preface: I'm relatively new to the typology thing, so if I were you, I wouldn't put too much weight on my opinion. I'm still learning...

    ...but my guess is ESFP, and here's why:

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post

    * More risk-taker than myself.
    If you mean risks like jumping out of a plane with nothing more than a nylon sheet or freefalling off a cliff into a large body of water, I'd say that has to do with dominant Se. If you mean challenging tradition, then I can't really attribute it to that.


    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    * Values a lot of little 'symbolism'/traditional rituals, finds understanding and romanticism in certain 'ways of things' and why/how they should be followed, but, her own evaluation of whether it's "universally" a right or wrong mindset will trump tradition, always.
    - she is very quick to get worked up about stuff, and will spew it out right then and there. To her, it relieves anxiety and frustration of the thought mulling over and over, so she'd rather deal with it in the moment. She's been trying to have more on a handle on her trigger-reaction. Although, IMO, she does give a few strikes before the person is OUT, such that, just like me, when they don't heed the strikes, she will lash out verbally at them.
    That sounds like really Fiery quintessential Fi...something I'd attribute to an SFP.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    - has a lot of confusion/conflict with how her sister perceives the world (ENFP), finds her sister often time illogical (which, I'd agree, she is, but it's easier for me to see her sister's way of thinking/justification, while she will dismiss it as....'but that's just stupid!'). She often feels she's right in such judgements against her sister cuz she's like a parent (older sis) to her. Her sister feels she criticizes her too much and picks on little things.
    That just seems like an N/S discordance.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    - she, to my confusion at times, often ascribes what a person "morally" should to, and finds it frustrating when they don't. When I tell her that, a person SHOULD do that, but doesn't mean that they will, she can't understand how that is any relevant counter.
    I'd say that is a result of Fi more than Fe, and the fact that she can't see the relevant discrepancies between what a person SHOULD do and what they will is probably a result of a lack of Ne.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    - when she recalls something, she goes into a LOT of details and doesn't skip anything. Sometimes, she gets very stuck on recalling something as true, when, I can remember it not happening as she recalls....she gets 'tricked' by Si, sometimes???
    That may just be twisting the copious amounts of information that she takes in from her external world (Se) and twisting it based on Fi.


    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    - She is in touch with how she feels/wants, and is vocal about that not being disrespected.
    - She can read too much into something/someone, and jump to conclusions about them, sometimes almost extremes. Like, "They're evil." When, after another interaction with them, she will have changed her mind on them. She knows that I don't like how she has 'all these judgements'.
    Again, Fi.


    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    - Sometimes, people find her over-friendly and may mistake her friendliness as something 'more'. E.g., she feels that if a person has nice eyes, they should know, doesn't matter if it's a grandma, a child or a dude. But, a dude will think it's cuz she's flirting, and she's not.
    Sounds like overly friendly, quirky SFP to me.


    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    - she has tested/challenged A LOT of the traditions of what being female in her culture is expected to be.
    What do you mean by that? How so?

    I didn't touch upon every item in your laundry list, but I made what I could out of a lot of it.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Tyrant's Avatar
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    How exactly wouldn't a Fe dominant make such a rash conclusion? Fe is a dynamic element - full blown declaration of someone being evil based on the Fe signals (what this person was saying, how they said it, gestures, etc.) this person was sending, and then her opinion was changed based on the next meeting of this person.
    INTP | IEI - INFp

  8. #8
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrant View Post
    How exactly wouldn't a Fe dominant make such a rash conclusion? Fe is a dynamic element - full blown declaration of someone being evil based on the Fe signals (what this person was saying, how they said it, gestures, etc.) this person was sending, and then her opinion was changed based on the next meeting of this person.
    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    The dominance of the function wouldn't lead her to jumping to such rash conclusions as it would if it were in the tertiary position [not fully developed].

    <I go on to provide the difference b/w her and an ESFJ I know>

    My other best friend is ESFJ, the jumping-to-conclusions things happens with her, but it's a very F-tinged jumping to conclusion.

    <explains>
    It's not simply a question of jumping to rash conclusions as what one does with such conclusions, which I was alluding to, specifically. And, she has a very distinct way of the conclusions (not) affecting her than my ESFJ friend.

    Meaning *something* is tempering the effect of Fe's interpretation differently in my ESxx friend than my ESFJ friend. I think it's my ESxx friend's Ti.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Tyrant's Avatar
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    Can you expand on that further any?

    While my ESxx best friend's jumping-to-conclusion is something particular to that external person, no correlation to how it makes HER feel.
    That's very much Fe. You're confusing Fe with being emotional.
    INTP | IEI - INFp

  10. #10
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by teslashock View Post
    Necessary preface: I'm relatively new to the typology thing, so if I were you, I wouldn't put too much weight on my opinion. I'm still learning...

    ...but my guess is ESFP, and here's why:



    If you mean risks like jumping out of a plane with nothing more than a nylon sheet or freefalling off a cliff into a large body of water, I'd say that has to do with dominant Se. If you mean challenging tradition, then I can't really attribute it to that.




    That sounds like really Fiery quintessential Fi...something I'd attribute to an SFP.



    That just seems like an N/S discordance.



    I'd say that is a result of Fi more than Fe, and the fact that she can't see the relevant discrepancies between what a person SHOULD do and what they will is probably a result of a lack of Ne.
    You make a compelling case for ESFP.

    However, looking at profiles of ESFPs, some things don't really resound as particularly her. The attention-seeking, I'm more than her in this regard. She doesn't really hate structure and routine, although she knows she's not very good at it, she HOPES to get better at it. She doesn't see those stuff as negatives.

    She doesn't feel very strongly bonded to people, only a select few closest to her. Although she is understanding of different personalities, and, some mis-understood ones, she has sympathy towards. She is not very good with kids but she's good at taking care of them, her ENFP sis is, and so am I, in that we can be 'friends' with them.

    She is not silly at all. At all. She's very composed and lady-like, she was way more adult before her time. She doesn't really have a 'love for people' or wanting to meet new people. It's more like she's open to situations and people being a part of it is a fine and predictable by-product, to her.

    That may just be twisting the copious amounts of information that she takes in from her external world (Se) and twisting it based on Fi.
    I can buy that, Se+Fi giving a type of Si. The feelings associated with an experience, from past, evokes how she recalls that.


    What do you mean by that? How so?
    What females should and should not do, in a very domineering patriarchal culture. She knows and plays by/to the rules to not bring 'shame' to family, but, she will challenge things that are illogically associated with 'shame', and she slowly has chipped away at that, rather than all at once, in your face.

    She has amazing patience for certain things she wants to achieve and lets the 'world' present the 'right' opportunities before she acts on them.

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