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Type my friend: ISFJ or INFJ?

SilentStream

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I'm having trouble deciding whether my friend is an ISFJ or INFJ.

Her characteristics include:

She is studying to be a nurse. She has chosen to study externally rather than on campus. She finds human biology very interesting.

She wants to be the overseer nurse in an aged care home. She says she wants to do this so that she can make sure the carers do things 'the right way.' She found during work experience that they cut corners and don't treat residents with compassion. She wasn't afraid to criticise the owner of the aged care home to her face, apparently she told her in no uncertain terms what she thought of the place.

She shares my interest in historical dramas and classic novels, but she doesn't as read as much as I do. She seems to prefer the TV and film.

We often talk about the future together, deciding how we want to live, what kind of work we want to do, where we want to live, what kind of house etc.

She doesn't like to be social and she says she hates people. She hardly goes out socially unless it is a family event or a religious social event, such as a wedding of someone in the Church.

Her mother is an ISFJ and they get on well together, but she has said to me that her mum fusses too much.

She has firm religious beliefs, she attends church, but she isn't baptised although she plans to soon.

She can tell the funniest stories and she loves to laugh.

She talks a lot about ethical and moral problems that she sees people she knows are experiencing. She thinks about what she would do in the situation. She can be very adament about whether a person is good or bad. She has a very people oriented conversation, she tells me all the news about people she knows and we talk about whether we thought they are making the right decisions in their life.

She likes to talk about what she is learning and apply the information to the health problems of people we know, coming up with solutions as to how they should treat their problems and how to prevent them from occurring.

She loves british comedies.

She says she likes to garden, she has her own veggie patch in the garden.

She loves food, she isn't shy to loudly declare that she is hungry even though she just ate. Its kind of her trade mark.

She is 19 and lives with her family.

She likes to be unique. She doesn't follow the crowd. She wears exactly what she wants to and doesn't follow the latest fashion.

She is very concerned about international issues such as poverty, child abuse, war and genocide. She wanted to get a degree in Social Work and International studies at one stage.

She isn't the Martyr type and if she doesn't want to do something she will readily say no.
 

Snow Turtle

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To me it sounds like she's an opinionated ISFJ. How is she when it comes to brainstorming? What's her own opinion on her own imagination?
 

SilentStream

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To me it sounds like she's an opinionated ISFJ. How is she when it comes to brainstorming? What's her own opinion on her own imagination?

I really don't know if she is good at brainstorming, but she rarely does it. When we were playing Pictionary charades the other day she seemed to find it difficult to come up with ideas on how to communicate her subject to us. Which I find easy, I guess because I'm an N. However I think it was the first or second time she had ever played it.

Imagination? She has never said anything about it. Although not long ago she started writing poetry.

I've talked to her about MBTI and I got her to take Keirsey's test. She got ISFJ. On another test online she got INFJ, but I don't find that test very reliable personally, as her ISFJ mum came out as an INTJ!

The jokes she makes are usually the silly and rude type, which she finds hilarious. She also isn't afraid to burp or fart outloud in public, saying that its perfectly normal.

She seems different to other ISFJs I've met though, she doesn't want to follow the crowd and always independently does her own thing. My Dad is an ISFJ and nowhere near as independent and opinionated as she is. But of course she is also very diplomatic

She does have anxiety problems though and occasionally gets mild panic attacks.

She loves Sci-Fi.

She hasn't got any hobbies besides the normal entertainment stuff.

She initially found MBTI interesting, but refused to read any of the books I loaned her. But she'll talk about it from time to time if I do.
 

BlackCat

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She sounds like an ISFJ to me. :)
 

AutumnReverie

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I agree with everyone else. She sounds almost exactly like my roommate last year (an ISFJ). :yes:
 

cascadeco

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ISFJ's can be quite opinionated, free-thinking, and don't necessarily follow the crowd. Anyway, when I read the OP I was thinking 'total ISFJ', no doubt about it. :yes:
 

SilentStream

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Hmm I'm starting to think she is an ISFJ too. Poor thing, she read the description of SJs in Please Understand Me 2 and said that they were stupid, then she read the NF description and said that was her.

Its weird, we get on really well. It seems a little unusual for an INTP and an ISFJ to be such good friends. I suppose I don't ask for anything more than she can give, and I accept her as she is. She also accepts my strange quirks too.
 

BlackCat

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Hmm I'm starting to think she is an ISFJ too. Poor thing, she read the description of SJs in Please Understand Me 2 and said that they were stupid, then she read the NF description and said that was her.

Its weird, we get on really well. It seems a little unusual for an INTP and an ISFJ to be such good friends. I suppose I don't ask for anything more than she can give, and I accept her as she is. She also accepts my strange quirks too.

Please understand me is a terrible book to introduce someone to MBTI with. :tongue: SJs sound like conservative idiots... SPs sound insane... NFs sound caring and idealistic (basically what any feeler would want to be) and NTs are romanticized because the author is an INTP.
 

Habba

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SJs sound like conservative idiots... SPs sound insane...

What's wrong with being factually precise? :shock:

I think she's ISFJ over INFJ. But I was also thinking ESFJ too. They wouldn't be too afraid showing their opinions about someone else's work.
 

Thalassa

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ISFJ? Really?

Hmm. I would have thought INFJ.
 

SilentStream

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She has lots of different ideas about what type of nurse she wants to be. Everytime I see her she is all excited about a new idea of what she could do after her degree. She likes that there are so many different areas you can go into; last time she talked about being an alternative health-care nurse or even a pilates nurse! But managing an aged care home still seems to be at the forefront, I think because she sees some kind of injustice there. She is practical too though and knows that aged care is a growing field.

She changed her mind over and over again even after she had sent in her application (early of course!), changing her preferences constantly. Considering counselling, social work, teaching, international studies, an arts major, psychology and finally nursing.

Her favourite film is 'To Kill a Mockingbird.' She wants to marry someone exactly like Atticus Finch. She hates "rooster men" and wants a strong, principled, quiet, humble man who fights for justice.

"She talks a lot about ethical and moral problems that she sees people she knows are experiencing. She thinks about what she would do in the situation. She can be very adament about whether a person is good or bad. She has a very people oriented conversation, she tells me all the news about people she knows and we talk about whether we thought they are making the right decisions in their life."

This is sort of what makes me think she is an N. She has a more abstract perspective on things, in that she can apply what she sees happening in one situation to another situation. For eg. a friend of hers got married very quickly and her husband ended up being abusive, so now she is very adament that she will never make a hasty decision like this until she is perfectly sure about the guy (marriage is a requirement for her as she is religious). She's seen this a couple of times and recognises the pattern.

She gossips but its different to how others gossip, she doesn't just get a thrill from something shocking like some do, she actually reflects on what the news she has about someone means.

Or perhaps this is just me projecting and influencing her conversation along these lines?

ISFJ? Really?

Hmm. I would have thought INFJ.

Why do you think she is an INFJ?
 

cascadeco

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She has lots of different ideas about what type of nurse she wants to be. Everytime I see her she is all excited about a new idea of what she could do after her degree. She likes that there are so many different areas you can go into; last time she talked about being an alternative health-care nurse or even a pilates nurse! But managing an aged care home still seems to be at the forefront, I think because she sees some kind of injustice there. She is practical too though and knows that aged care is a growing field.

I think your descriptions of her reasons for going into the field (i.e.: 'She says she wants to do this so that she can make sure the carers do things 'the right way.''), her practical side, and her desire to *tangibly*, physically, make a difference in the world (via her choice of career, and interest in the field...I don't know many INFJ's who would be nearly so keen at this field; this isn't a slight on ISFJ, nor am I saying there aren't any INFJ's out there who would, it's just an indication of different temperament as well as different motivations for career) indicate ISFJ. Everything you describe about her seems very down-to-earth, no-nonsense, and real-world. Tangible concerns about people and the world at large, and corresponding beliefs/cares (SiFe).

This is sort of what makes me think she is an N. She has a more abstract perspective on things, in that she can apply what she sees happening in one situation to another situation. For eg. a friend of hers got married very quickly and her husband ended up being abusive, so now she is very adament that she will never make a hasty decision like this until she is perfectly sure about the guy (marriage is a requirement for her as she is religious). She's seen this a couple of times and recognises the pattern.

I don't see this example as indicating an abstract perspective/nature (also, it's not as if S's are incapable of tying one situation to another ;)). She's observing her friends' situation and integrating that experience into her own view of things and relationships. And....recognizing this pattern in terms of relationships is hardly an N thing. ;) It's something most women decide after a few messed up relationships or watching messed up relationships of their friends. :)

Honestly, she sounds well-rounded and intelligent. I can understand her not caring for the ISFJ/SJ descriptions, but nothing you've said about her really speaks INFJ to me (I'm not seeing much having to do with Ni or Ni-dom tendencies/characteristics/behaviors in your descriptions; many of your descriptions have a tie to Fe, however).

She gossips but its different to how others gossip, she doesn't just get a thrill from something shocking like some do, she actually reflects on what the news she has about someone means.

Reflection/weighing information is simply a sign of introversion. I am well acquainted with one ISFJ, and she is hardly a gossip. She's very astute at reading people, kind-hearted and respectful (which is why she's not a malicious gossip), and open-minded. She's a listener and an empathizer, and over the couple of years that I've known her she's shown her depth and individuality.
 

SilentStream

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Yeah I think I was scraping the barrel there! But I have to agree - shes an ISFJ.
I am slightly disappointed that she isn't an INFJ which is weird because it really shouldn't make a difference. I guess because I must have some secret hope that she will suddenly get interested in what I like or perhaps I've actually been assuming she is more like me :shock:.
Oh well, it sucks though because I don't have any friends who are Ns then. Damnit where are they?
 

cascadeco

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Yeah I think I was scraping the barrel there! But I have to agree - shes an ISFJ.
I am slightly disappointed that she isn't an INFJ which is weird because it really shouldn't make a difference. I guess because I must have some secret hope that she will suddenly get interested in what I like or perhaps I've actually been assuming she is more like me :shock:.
Oh well, it sucks though because I don't have any friends who are Ns then. Damnit where are they?

Well, it sounds like you guys have good conversations and share some topics of interest, get along well, and are reasonably close. So, the S/N doesn't matter!

Oh, you'll meet N's. :) The N's I know and who are part of my life are ones I've slowly 'accumulated' over a span of 13 years. :laugh:
 

Grace

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Hm, I was going to say INFJ. I guess perhaps I am just picking apart the bits that sound like me (how she dresses, sense of humor, etc).
My ISFJ friend and I use to talk about our futures all of the time together. That was pretty much our favorite topic of conversation. So, I guess it cant' be said whether that is an INFJ thing or an ISFJ thing since we are each one of those and we both enjoyed it.
A lot of her interests sound like my own as far as what she considered for careers. Counselor, psychologist or social work are all things I've thought about. I would never want to be a nurse though. I guess I am still on the fence. Why are people so certain ISFJ? What evidence points to that over INFJ (out of curiousity)?
 

cascadeco

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I guess I tend not to put much emphasis on hobbies or interests, because while there can be correlations with type, there's just SO much crossover between types. So I kind of disregarded everything that was mentioned concerning her hobbies/interests; however, taken as a whole, more of it was tangible/sensory, and there was less of a sense of her being one who has more of a life in her mind - which is more of an INxx thing.

No mention of random quirks, a more spacey, idealistic nature that has more difficulty coping with the real-world (esp. in terms of career and life/relationships in general; INFJ's tend to struggle in some major ways with finding their place in this world and making sense of it), no mention of really intellectual/philosophical/abstract/scientific/psychological/sociological conversations, or anything really that pointed towards more of an INxx personality. Again, lots of IxFJ stuff (i.e. concern for society/cultural things, relationships, and human issues on a large scale), but that's where ISFJ's and INFJ's will appear similar - the secondary Fe.

I dunno, just my opinion. I thought ISFJ simply because she seemed clearly IxFJ, and there was nothing that pushed her in the dominant-Ni direction in my opinion. But, multiple other people also thought this, so they'd have to chime in too. :yes:
 

Thalassa

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Why do you think she is an INFJ?

I think she is an INFJ because you mentioned that she is very concerned with world affairs and social injustice as opposed to being more actively focused on simply making a difference in her own community - in my experience Si is more concerned with their own town and neighborhood. Yes, I realize that she wants to do something hands-on like nursing, but if she also has all this energy for theorizing about fixing the world on a global scale, that sounds much more like an N trait to me.

She seems to be idealistic, too, like an NF.

I know an INFJ who likes gardening, so that particular hobby doesn't necessarily make her an S.

Then again, I assumed she was an American who likes British films, so I tend to stereotype that as an N thing. Maybe not.
 

Two Point Two

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I'm inclined to think ISFJ too - what makes me lean this way is the mention, in a few places, of bringing things back and applying them to people she knows. Discussing what she has learnt in terms of how it relates to people she knows, discussing what people she knows are doing, and so forth. 'Very people oriented conversation'.

I know that this may be associated with F generally, but in my experience with NFs, their people oriented conversations tends to take place at a more theoretical level. It's...like sociology and psychology, more than about individual people. And when it is about individual people, it's still taking place in a theoretical framework.

I could be wrong - there's always limited information to go on in a forum like this. But that is how it seems to me. (I'm also not seeing any evidence of Ni, but that's not to say it isn't there).
 
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