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Thread: Fidelia XNFJ?

  1. #31
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    The INFJ vs. ENFJ brought this back into my mind again. I think fairly strongly that I am an INFJ. I believe my mother is an ENFJ and while we think very similarly, she is much more outspoken than I am and tends to feel boatloads of unwarranted guilt more. I tend to have a much more tentative approach to new situations than I think an ENFJ would.

    I have taken a couple of function tests though and come out with Fe first, which is supposed to be more ENFJ. My enneagram also came out as 2w1, which also is more typically ENFJ. Some people I've known have commented on me being fairly extroverted for an INFJ and I think I don't need as much alone time etc. I wonder too if teaching for a living has had any impact.

    What do those of you who know me from here think? (I realize it is harder to type someone based solely on online interactions.) I'm comfortably sure I'm INFJ, but would be interested in your impressions.
    All I can say is that when I read your first few posts on the forum just after you joined I thought: "Yes! I agree!", "Completely my opinion." "That's exactly how I would do something." etc etc, I probably related more to your posts than to any other posts on this forum, even other INFJ posts. So if this is any indication you definitely struck me as a fellow-INFJ, actually as one that is very similar to me. Also there is just a certain thoughtfulness about your posts that strikes me as far more INFJ than ENFJ.

    And concerning you writing long posts, I actually don't mind reading long posts at all as long as I feel the person has something interesting to say, I rather prefer it if people delve deeply into a subject.

  2. #32
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Yeah, when I read INFJ posts here, I feel like I could have written some of them or identify strongly. The only place where I feel a big difference is the amount of recovery time needed between interactions that some people express. I do find that I get horribly drained by being in an environment where I can't wander off in my head for even a couple minutes. I experienced that this summer while visiting more distant relatives and was reminded again! I like some HAT time, and I also like having time to write and to wind down at the end of a day alone. However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space. I find that I can get so far with a thought, and then need the stimulus that discussing it with someone else brings before I can get much further with it. I know that by nature, I also would have been much shyer, had it not been for teaching making it necessary for me to get over some of my self-consciousness in that area.

  3. #33
    Senior Member Lightyear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space.
    I am exactly the same. I would not want to live alone but I definitely need my own space and own room. My favourite situation is when I am around other people (like in a work setting, or we might be quiet together in a room each doing their own thing) but I am not forced to interact with them or feel like it is socially expected of me to engage in small-talk etc. I love people but I also like to just be quiet with them or interact with them on my terms, especially former flatmates that were extroverted have exhausted me no end by just going on and on about their day without asking me any questions at all and just draining me.

    Perhaps this needing people in the background is an introverted feeler thing.

  4. #34
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    Whatever you are Fidelia, you're awesome.

  5. #35
    Senior Member the state i am in's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    I get an INFJ vibe from you. I know a lot of ISFJs (don't we all? ) and they express themselves very differently. You also don't have the energy that an ENFJ gives off. Not a bad thing, but rather, along with Sanveane, you're one of the few INFJs here who really give me a calm, "counselor" vibe. While insightful in other ways, the other INFJs don't really give the same effect with their posts.
    does 2w1 make sense based on her style of posts? i just get a 4w5 self-understanding reading immediately. i always see new things when reading her posts about relationships, her understandings of how she relates to other types are very detailed, and and she seems to have the 5 wing rigor, emphasis on knowledge, investment in thought, etc. but less detached than a 5w4, more emphasis on inner foundational stability.

  6. #36
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space.
    Quote Originally Posted by Lightyear View Post
    I am exactly the same. I would not want to live alone but I definitely need my own space and own room.
    I'm not the same. Living alone was the best step I made towards my sanity. I enjoy having people around, and I'll hang out with friends when I feel lonely, but I'd rather not live with anyone. Unless they are also an uber-introvert.

  7. #37
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think the most ideal situation I've had was living in a four-plex of apartments. I had my own apartment, but my boyfriend was next door and a close friend was across the way. If I wanted a 10 minute chat or someone to exercise with, there was someone around, but if I wanted to be alone, I could be. I liked actually some things about living in a little village of teachers, despite it getting rather small at times. You could have someone over or go for a walk or go to town for groceries without it turning into an all evening event.

  8. #38
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    fidelia has always seemed INFJ to me. Her maturity probably accounts for some of the other, usually-weaker functions coming into play. She seems like the kind of person who learns from mistakes and wants to be well-rounded.

    I love ENFJs, but I've never gotten an ENFJ vibe from her, either. ENFJs and INFJs just "feel" totally different, to me.
    Something Witty

  9. #39
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for your input! It's interesting to know how you're perceived by other people. I've always been a little bit skeptical about both the functions stuff and enneagram because it seems too much like I could skew the answers without meaning to, or get different results if I took the test again. I think both could be useful in some way, but I'm not so sure about the initial accuracy.

  10. #40
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fidelia View Post
    However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space.
    I can relate to this. I have lived such a solitary existence, in general, my whole life, and living alone is less than ideal for my disposition. It's not that I don't enjoy my time alone and solitary activities, because I absolutely do (and I'm a pretty hardcore introvert, as those things go); it's more that over time I am beginning to find a mostly-solitary life, with little interaction, rather meaningless in the big picture. Also, entertaining myself endlessly becomes pretty ho-hum after a while. I may only get close to a few people, but I could be around those people almost 24/7 - even without speaking, being in the same *vicinity*/space as someone I like/love makes a world of difference.

    Anyway, I have related to many of your posts. Based on your posting style, you seem more INFJ than ENFJ (you seem far too deliberative to be ENFJ). The fact that you sometimes test higher on Fe than Ni simply means you're probably more of an extrovert than many INFJ's may be; or, more skilled/likely to utilize Fe. Your profession probably also attributes to that.
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