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Thread: Fidelia XNFJ?

  1. #21
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I think Raging is correct in the sense of me rarely venturing to give an opinion unless I feel like I could reasonably answer the objections that others might have to it. I would prefer not to be seen as arbitrarily and emotionally taking up a position without having thought it out (and I think many make that assumption about NFs). I think it is a form of self-protection as I want to share my thoughts, but still have difficulty dealing with rejection if I talk about something that matters to me or that is a strongly held belief. I don't think that I am trying to impersonate another type though.

    I have been doing some thinking about the fact that I could come across as either stubborn, closed-minded or overly dogmatic and serious to people though. Most people are unlikely to see my sense of humour, or me teasing them unless I am quite comfortable with them and know how it will be taken, and even then it is more often shown in private. I know that some NTs are a little suspicious of me looking for common ground rather than for points of difference when discussing something. That may be Fe related I would guess.

  2. #22
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post

    I'd say she is pretty reasonable and purposeful; I don't think it's just an act. But I'll let her answer this.
    I think so too. This seems to be common amongst all of us on the forum who very consciously and intentionally subscribe to a religion (even ENTP Liquid Laser). IME it's a bit different than searching within for standards and morals because while that's important, religious people choose to subscribe to an external set (though of course no one can quite figure out what it is we're trying to meet the standard of, but we're all trying).

    And not that non-religious people can't be "reasonable and purposeful" of course. Just musings.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  3. #23
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Usehername View Post
    I think so too. This seems to be common amongst all of us on the forum who very consciously and intentionally subscribe to a religion (even ENTP Liquid Laser). IME it's a bit different than searching within for standards and morals because while that's important, religious people choose to subscribe to an external set (though of course no one can quite figure out what it is we're trying to meet the standard of, but we're all trying).

    And not that non-religious people can't be "reasonable and purposeful" of course. Just musings.
    Hmm... well, I can appreciate religious people to some extent, but I'm always somewhat uncomfortable with them, because I can just tell there's a fundamental difference in how they think and feel that bothers me. Maybe that's why I fail to identify to such a degree that I don't see any Ni in her (although that doesn't explain why I still see it in Usehername). I mean, her profile picture looks very severe, enough to make me jump.

    I'm sure they feel the same way about me, though.

  4. #24
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    I do talk about my past a fair bit. I think some of that has something to do with the past five years containing experiences that have influenced me the most strongly of my whole life and which have culminated in a lot of fairly life changing conclusions. Both living on the reserve as well as in the limited social circle of the teacher village where it was not easy to travel out from, (in addition to some big changes within my family and a difficult breakup) gave me a lot of necessity and time to consider the implications of insecurity and it's impact on almost all interactions.

    These conclusions started with a hypothesis that I believed was true, and then I started comparing all the situations I knew of against it to be sure that there weren't a bunch of exceptions I was missing. I asked a bunch of other people what they thought too because these were issues that were affecting the ability for me to teach effectively every day. Most people are by far the most crippled by lack of confidence, character or communication skills in every daily interaction. It's necessary to have to learn anything and also necessary for successful interpersonal interactions. I felt like I had to be sure that I could justify spending time on those ideas in class and be able to articulate the ideas clearly. I also needed to find proven ways of acquiring those three traits so that they could get on with the business of the subject matter at hand and so that whether or not music ever figured in their lives they might carry away something more useful over the long term.

    Sometimes I worry that I do look only for supporting evidence for the ideas that occur to me which seem to have merit rather than more openly looking to outside sources to contribute before I make a hypothesis.

    My posts are so long because I feel like if I don't get everything in now, it may be the last opportunity that I'll get to do so. Kind of like if I don't make a good enough case, the thought will be dismissed and by then I've invested enough in it that it's kind of a part of me (and by inference I feel dismissed). That's dumb I know. I used to hate it when my mum would look over my work before I had had a chance to properly check it over myself because it felt like I wasn't showing what I could do properly, or like I was being evaluated before I really was ready. I sort of feel like if I can lay it all out there then it makes more sense to respond to. Otherwise, there are all sorts of clarifying questions or "But you haven't considered this" s that I want to avoid. Maybe it's just perfectionistic tendancies. (I know I've never been good at summarizing movies or writing outlines for papers because I want to include too many details).

    I realize that it tends to turn a lot of people away though who hate seeing a bunch of text. That's why I most often stick to threads where people don't mind wading through all that because they want more detail rather than less.

    I also wonder sometimes if people don't see me as a little over-prescriptive or like I believe I have the answer to everything. That's not the case, but I can see how people could think so, based on what I do share. With that, it has more to do with me only taking risks with people I know wouldn't react too negatively or without enough context to understand me accurately. For example, in a PM I may regularly correspond with someone who has diametrically opposed views to my own and feel no self-consciousness about the possible conflict that could result in discussing it, because I already know that they have a basic sense of where I'm coming from and respect me. Even in a more private venue like a blog, I would be more likely to talk about those things than in general on the forum.

  5. #25
    Glycerine
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    I consider you a very thorough and thoughtful INFJ because most of the ENFJs on this forum tend to be very short and quick in their responses: on average, a short paragraph at most. You, on the other hand, seem to explain yourself in a much more complete fashion.

  6. #26
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    lol Athenian - Sorry to scare you! I actually didn't realize that everyone could see my profile pic. I thought it was just like the albums - you couldn't see it unless you friended me.

  7. #27
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    I get an INFJ vibe from you. I know a lot of ISFJs (don't we all? ) and they express themselves very differently. You also don't have the energy that an ENFJ gives off. Not a bad thing, but rather, along with Sanveane, you're one of the few INFJs here who really give me a calm, "counselor" vibe. While insightful in other ways, the other INFJs don't really give the same effect with their posts.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  8. #28
    On a mission Usehername's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Athenian200 View Post
    Hmm... well, I can appreciate religious people to some extent, but I'm always somewhat uncomfortable with them, because I can just tell there's a fundamental difference in how they think and feel that bothers me. Maybe that's why I fail to identify to such a degree that I don't see any Ni in her (although that doesn't explain why I still see it in Usehername). I mean, her profile picture looks very severe, enough to make me jump.

    I'm sure they feel the same way about me, though.
    When I was first on the forum some people thought I was SJ which I knew I never was; I think Ni can be hard to read at first, because it's not as easy to pin down as Ne, which is ironically easy to pin because it jumps all over the damn place.
    *You don't have a soul. You are a Soul. You have a body.
    *Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods.
    C.S. Lewis

  9. #29
    Senior Member Keps Mnemnosyne's Avatar
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    Hey LaurenAshley could you post a link to your subtype topic? I tried searching for it, but I couldn't find it, the closest I got was this topic which quoted a part of it:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ariations.html

    fidelia, my opinion is worthless due to not knowing you, so I am sorry if I derailed it a little. If I had to, my opinion would be IXFJ as the I seems present with your posts and the mentioning of how you talk about your life. At best you could be an ambivert. You seem very considerate and seem to reference a personal code that relates to others. My quickest example would be this post of yours: "Disagreement is one thing, cheap shots are quite another and in my opinion seem offensive and unwarranted." which could easily be Fi as well, but I think from a collection of your posts it would seem to be Fe. N or S, I am not sure, I could guess, but I don't really know why I would say it is one or the other.

    Regardless, you are right that you are supporting evidence for your ideas; the truth which you will one day realize: ESTP.
    Love wouldn't exist without loneliness to inspire it.

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    I can cope and will cope without polluting my lungs. - Saslou

  10. #30
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Not a bad thing, but rather, along with Sanveane, you're one of the few INFJs here who really give me a calm, "counselor" vibe. While insightful in other ways, the other INFJs don't really give the same effect with their posts.
    I think that has to do with the subtypes I've mentioned. Many people say there are multiple subtypes of INFJ and other types, but I think there are really only two. I've known many INFJs due to a special interest group I'm in that attracts INxx's, and however different the INFJs I've known are, they always tend to fall into two distinct subtypes (or are balanced on the subtypes and contain elements of both). I named them "Idiosyncratic INFJ" and "Psychologist INFJ." Not so sure about sanveane, but fidelia seems to fall into the latter subtype.

    Quote Originally Posted by Keps Mnemnosyne View Post
    Hey LaurenAshley could you post a link to your subtype topic? I tried searching for it, but I couldn't find it, the closest I got was this topic which quoted a part of it:
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...ariations.html
    Yes, that's it, linked from where I originally posted it. It was just a post, not a topic. It's not by any means finished though; I'm still working on it, doing some editing. I'll perhaps start a topic in the future when I feel it is complete.

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