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Fidelia XNFJ?

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
I think Raging is correct in the sense of me rarely venturing to give an opinion unless I feel like I could reasonably answer the objections that others might have to it. I would prefer not to be seen as arbitrarily and emotionally taking up a position without having thought it out (and I think many make that assumption about NFs). I think it is a form of self-protection as I want to share my thoughts, but still have difficulty dealing with rejection if I talk about something that matters to me or that is a strongly held belief. I don't think that I am trying to impersonate another type though.

I have been doing some thinking about the fact that I could come across as either stubborn, closed-minded or overly dogmatic and serious to people though. Most people are unlikely to see my sense of humour, or me teasing them unless I am quite comfortable with them and know how it will be taken, and even then it is more often shown in private. I know that some NTs are a little suspicious of me looking for common ground rather than for points of difference when discussing something. That may be Fe related I would guess.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
I'd say she is pretty reasonable and purposeful; I don't think it's just an act. But I'll let her answer this.

I think so too. This seems to be common amongst all of us on the forum who very consciously and intentionally subscribe to a religion (even ENTP Liquid Laser). IME it's a bit different than searching within for standards and morals because while that's important, religious people choose to subscribe to an external set (though of course no one can quite figure out what it is we're trying to meet the standard of, but we're all trying).

And not that non-religious people can't be "reasonable and purposeful" of course. Just musings.
 

Athenian200

Protocol Droid
Joined
Jul 1, 2007
Messages
8,828
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4w5
I think so too. This seems to be common amongst all of us on the forum who very consciously and intentionally subscribe to a religion (even ENTP Liquid Laser). IME it's a bit different than searching within for standards and morals because while that's important, religious people choose to subscribe to an external set (though of course no one can quite figure out what it is we're trying to meet the standard of, but we're all trying).

And not that non-religious people can't be "reasonable and purposeful" of course. Just musings.

Hmm... well, I can appreciate religious people to some extent, but I'm always somewhat uncomfortable with them, because I can just tell there's a fundamental difference in how they think and feel that bothers me. Maybe that's why I fail to identify to such a degree that I don't see any Ni in her (although that doesn't explain why I still see it in Usehername). I mean, her profile picture looks very severe, enough to make me jump.

I'm sure they feel the same way about me, though.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
I do talk about my past a fair bit. I think some of that has something to do with the past five years containing experiences that have influenced me the most strongly of my whole life and which have culminated in a lot of fairly life changing conclusions. Both living on the reserve as well as in the limited social circle of the teacher village where it was not easy to travel out from, (in addition to some big changes within my family and a difficult breakup) gave me a lot of necessity and time to consider the implications of insecurity and it's impact on almost all interactions.

These conclusions started with a hypothesis that I believed was true, and then I started comparing all the situations I knew of against it to be sure that there weren't a bunch of exceptions I was missing. I asked a bunch of other people what they thought too because these were issues that were affecting the ability for me to teach effectively every day. Most people are by far the most crippled by lack of confidence, character or communication skills in every daily interaction. It's necessary to have to learn anything and also necessary for successful interpersonal interactions. I felt like I had to be sure that I could justify spending time on those ideas in class and be able to articulate the ideas clearly. I also needed to find proven ways of acquiring those three traits so that they could get on with the business of the subject matter at hand and so that whether or not music ever figured in their lives they might carry away something more useful over the long term.

Sometimes I worry that I do look only for supporting evidence for the ideas that occur to me which seem to have merit rather than more openly looking to outside sources to contribute before I make a hypothesis.

My posts are so long because I feel like if I don't get everything in now, it may be the last opportunity that I'll get to do so. Kind of like if I don't make a good enough case, the thought will be dismissed and by then I've invested enough in it that it's kind of a part of me (and by inference I feel dismissed). That's dumb I know. I used to hate it when my mum would look over my work before I had had a chance to properly check it over myself because it felt like I wasn't showing what I could do properly, or like I was being evaluated before I really was ready. I sort of feel like if I can lay it all out there then it makes more sense to respond to. Otherwise, there are all sorts of clarifying questions or "But you haven't considered this" s that I want to avoid. Maybe it's just perfectionistic tendancies. (I know I've never been good at summarizing movies or writing outlines for papers because I want to include too many details).

I realize that it tends to turn a lot of people away though who hate seeing a bunch of text. That's why I most often stick to threads where people don't mind wading through all that because they want more detail rather than less.

I also wonder sometimes if people don't see me as a little over-prescriptive or like I believe I have the answer to everything. That's not the case, but I can see how people could think so, based on what I do share. With that, it has more to do with me only taking risks with people I know wouldn't react too negatively or without enough context to understand me accurately. For example, in a PM I may regularly correspond with someone who has diametrically opposed views to my own and feel no self-consciousness about the possible conflict that could result in discussing it, because I already know that they have a basic sense of where I'm coming from and respect me. Even in a more private venue like a blog, I would be more likely to talk about those things than in general on the forum.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
I consider you a very thorough and thoughtful INFJ because most of the ENFJs on this forum tend to be very short and quick in their responses: on average, a short paragraph at most. You, on the other hand, seem to explain yourself in a much more complete fashion.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
lol Athenian - Sorry to scare you! I actually didn't realize that everyone could see my profile pic. I thought it was just like the albums - you couldn't see it unless you friended me.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I get an INFJ vibe from you. I know a lot of ISFJs (don't we all? :D) and they express themselves very differently. You also don't have the energy that an ENFJ gives off. Not a bad thing, but rather, along with Sanveane, you're one of the few INFJs here who really give me a calm, "counselor" vibe. While insightful in other ways, the other INFJs don't really give the same effect with their posts.
 

Usehername

On a mission
Joined
May 30, 2007
Messages
3,794
Hmm... well, I can appreciate religious people to some extent, but I'm always somewhat uncomfortable with them, because I can just tell there's a fundamental difference in how they think and feel that bothers me. Maybe that's why I fail to identify to such a degree that I don't see any Ni in her (although that doesn't explain why I still see it in Usehername). I mean, her profile picture looks very severe, enough to make me jump.

I'm sure they feel the same way about me, though.

When I was first on the forum some people thought I was SJ which I knew I never was; I think Ni can be hard to read at first, because it's not as easy to pin down as Ne, which is ironically easy to pin because it jumps all over the damn place.
 

Keps Mnemnosyne

New member
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
406
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
Mm
Hey LaurenAshley could you post a link to your subtype topic? I tried searching for it, but I couldn't find it, the closest I got was this topic which quoted a part of it:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/19631-infj-theme-variations.html

fidelia, my opinion is worthless due to not knowing you, so I am sorry if I derailed it a little. If I had to, my opinion would be IXFJ as the I seems present with your posts and the mentioning of how you talk about your life. At best you could be an ambivert. :) You seem very considerate and seem to reference a personal code that relates to others. My quickest example would be this post of yours: "Disagreement is one thing, cheap shots are quite another and in my opinion seem offensive and unwarranted." which could easily be Fi as well, but I think from a collection of your posts it would seem to be Fe. N or S, I am not sure, I could guess, but I don't really know why I would say it is one or the other.

Regardless, you are right that you are supporting evidence for your ideas; the truth which you will one day realize: ESTP. :newwink:
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Not a bad thing, but rather, along with Sanveane, you're one of the few INFJs here who really give me a calm, "counselor" vibe. While insightful in other ways, the other INFJs don't really give the same effect with their posts.

I think that has to do with the subtypes I've mentioned. Many people say there are multiple subtypes of INFJ and other types, but I think there are really only two. I've known many INFJs due to a special interest group I'm in that attracts INxx's, and however different the INFJs I've known are, they always tend to fall into two distinct subtypes (or are balanced on the subtypes and contain elements of both). I named them "Idiosyncratic INFJ" and "Psychologist INFJ." Not so sure about sanveane, but fidelia seems to fall into the latter subtype.

Hey LaurenAshley could you post a link to your subtype topic? I tried searching for it, but I couldn't find it, the closest I got was this topic which quoted a part of it:
http://www.typologycentral.com/forums/nf-idyllic/19631-infj-theme-variations.html
Yes, that's it, linked from where I originally posted it. It was just a post, not a topic. It's not by any means finished though; I'm still working on it, doing some editing. I'll perhaps start a topic in the future when I feel it is complete.
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
The INFJ vs. ENFJ brought this back into my mind again. I think fairly strongly that I am an INFJ. I believe my mother is an ENFJ and while we think very similarly, she is much more outspoken than I am and tends to feel boatloads of unwarranted guilt more. I tend to have a much more tentative approach to new situations than I think an ENFJ would.

I have taken a couple of function tests though and come out with Fe first, which is supposed to be more ENFJ. My enneagram also came out as 2w1, which also is more typically ENFJ. Some people I've known have commented on me being fairly extroverted for an INFJ and I think I don't need as much alone time etc. I wonder too if teaching for a living has had any impact.

What do those of you who know me from here think? (I realize it is harder to type someone based solely on online interactions.) I'm comfortably sure I'm INFJ, but would be interested in your impressions.

All I can say is that when I read your first few posts on the forum just after you joined I thought: "Yes! I agree!", "Completely my opinion." "That's exactly how I would do something." etc etc, I probably related more to your posts than to any other posts on this forum, even other INFJ posts. So if this is any indication you definitely struck me as a fellow-INFJ, actually as one that is very similar to me. Also there is just a certain thoughtfulness about your posts that strikes me as far more INFJ than ENFJ.

And concerning you writing long posts, I actually don't mind reading long posts at all as long as I feel the person has something interesting to say, I rather prefer it if people delve deeply into a subject.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Yeah, when I read INFJ posts here, I feel like I could have written some of them or identify strongly. The only place where I feel a big difference is the amount of recovery time needed between interactions that some people express. I do find that I get horribly drained by being in an environment where I can't wander off in my head for even a couple minutes. I experienced that this summer while visiting more distant relatives and was reminded again! I like some HAT time, and I also like having time to write and to wind down at the end of a day alone. However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space. I find that I can get so far with a thought, and then need the stimulus that discussing it with someone else brings before I can get much further with it. I know that by nature, I also would have been much shyer, had it not been for teaching making it necessary for me to get over some of my self-consciousness in that area.
 

Lightyear

New member
Joined
Jul 3, 2008
Messages
899
However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space.

I am exactly the same. I would not want to live alone but I definitely need my own space and own room. My favourite situation is when I am around other people (like in a work setting, or we might be quiet together in a room each doing their own thing) but I am not forced to interact with them or feel like it is socially expected of me to engage in small-talk etc. I love people but I also like to just be quiet with them or interact with them on my terms, especially former flatmates that were extroverted have exhausted me no end by just going on and on about their day without asking me any questions at all and just draining me.

Perhaps this needing people in the background is an introverted feeler thing.
 

the state i am in

Active member
Joined
Feb 12, 2009
Messages
2,475
MBTI Type
infj
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
I get an INFJ vibe from you. I know a lot of ISFJs (don't we all? :D) and they express themselves very differently. You also don't have the energy that an ENFJ gives off. Not a bad thing, but rather, along with Sanveane, you're one of the few INFJs here who really give me a calm, "counselor" vibe. While insightful in other ways, the other INFJs don't really give the same effect with their posts.

does 2w1 make sense based on her style of posts? i just get a 4w5 self-understanding reading immediately. i always see new things when reading her posts about relationships, her understandings of how she relates to other types are very detailed, and and she seems to have the 5 wing rigor, emphasis on knowledge, investment in thought, etc. but less detached than a 5w4, more emphasis on inner foundational stability.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
Joined
Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space.

I am exactly the same. I would not want to live alone but I definitely need my own space and own room.

I'm not the same. Living alone was the best step I made towards my sanity. I enjoy having people around, and I'll hang out with friends when I feel lonely, but I'd rather not live with anyone. Unless they are also an uber-introvert.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
I think the most ideal situation I've had was living in a four-plex of apartments. I had my own apartment, but my boyfriend was next door and a close friend was across the way. If I wanted a 10 minute chat or someone to exercise with, there was someone around, but if I wanted to be alone, I could be. I liked actually some things about living in a little village of teachers, despite it getting rather small at times. You could have someone over or go for a walk or go to town for groceries without it turning into an all evening event.
 

Tallulah

Emerging
Joined
Feb 19, 2008
Messages
6,009
MBTI Type
INTP
fidelia has always seemed INFJ to me. Her maturity probably accounts for some of the other, usually-weaker functions coming into play. She seems like the kind of person who learns from mistakes and wants to be well-rounded.

I love ENFJs, but I've never gotten an ENFJ vibe from her, either. ENFJs and INFJs just "feel" totally different, to me.
 

Fidelia

Iron Maiden
Staff member
Joined
May 31, 2009
Messages
14,497
MBTI Type
INFJ
Thanks everyone for your input! It's interesting to know how you're perceived by other people. I've always been a little bit skeptical about both the functions stuff and enneagram because it seems too much like I could skew the answers without meaning to, or get different results if I took the test again. I think both could be useful in some way, but I'm not so sure about the initial accuracy.
 

cascadeco

New member
Joined
Oct 7, 2007
Messages
9,083
MBTI Type
INFJ
Enneagram
9w1
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
However, I get lonely after a bit. I have lived completely alone on several occasions and found that I liked it best when there were people nearby that I could access whenever I wanted, but that I still had my own space.

I can relate to this. I have lived such a solitary existence, in general, my whole life, and living alone is less than ideal for my disposition. It's not that I don't enjoy my time alone and solitary activities, because I absolutely do (and I'm a pretty hardcore introvert, as those things go); it's more that over time I am beginning to find a mostly-solitary life, with little interaction, rather meaningless in the big picture. Also, entertaining myself endlessly becomes pretty ho-hum after a while. I may only get close to a few people, but I could be around those people almost 24/7 - even without speaking, being in the same *vicinity*/space as someone I like/love makes a world of difference.

Anyway, I have related to many of your posts. Based on your posting style, you seem more INFJ than ENFJ (you seem far too deliberative to be ENFJ). The fact that you sometimes test higher on Fe than Ni simply means you're probably more of an extrovert than many INFJ's may be; or, more skilled/likely to utilize Fe. Your profession probably also attributes to that.
 
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