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ISFP or INFP? Eh...

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
So in my quest to understand myself, I've attempted typing everyone from my past. I think I've pretty much got everyone settled but my ex. I can't decide between NF or SP.

This is what I've got from memory:
He was very romantic, more than I am at all. He actually made me look completely unromantic. He'd write me spontaneous love poems, long drawn out letters, draw hearts and roses on the page with my named swiveled around the picture.

He rarely spoke in terms of the future on his own, but since I was always bringing it up, he'd easily go along with it. Never planned anything, was always late, completely disheveled and disorganized. He didn't ask me out, he just assumed we were together. He was an extremely talented athlete, but sports playing was not really a passion to him. Everyone tried to push it on him though because he didn't do well in school, and sports was to be his "big break". He wasn't materialistic at all. He could've lived in a hole somewhere probably and been content. He was very open-minded, but very traditional in his own actions usually. He had a huge family that was poor by most standards, and he put off a lot of things he could've done for himself to stay home and help out. He was very loyal. He loved music, especially the romantic stuff. He was very soft spoken, and hardly ever got really upset about anything. Didn't care too much about world events, but he'd listen to me go on and on. He wanted to study art in college. He loved outdoorsy activities: fishing, hiking, kayaking, camping,etc...He was a total goof ball, but hardly anyone knew. He didn't really trust people in general and rarely opened up, but those he opened up to were family to him.

So, INFP or ISFP?
 

Poki

New member
Joined
Dec 4, 2008
Messages
10,436
MBTI Type
STP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
So in my quest to understand myself, I've attempted typing everyone from my past. I think I've pretty much got everyone settled but my ex. I can't decide between NF or SP.

This is what I've got from memory:
He was very romantic, more than I am at all. He actually made me look completely unromantic. He'd write me spontaneous love poems, long drawn out letters, draw hearts and roses on the page with my named swiveled around the picture.

He rarely spoke in terms of the future on his own, but since I was always bringing it up, he'd easily go along with it. Never planned anything, was always late, completely disheveled and disorganized. He didn't ask me out, he just assumed we were together. He was an extremely talented athlete, but sports playing was not really a passion to him. Everyone tried to push it on him though because he didn't do well in school, and sports was to be his "big break". He wasn't materialistic at all. He could've lived in a hole somewhere probably and been content. He was very open-minded, but very traditional in his own actions usually. He had a huge family that was poor by most standards, and he put off a lot of things he could've done for himself to stay home and help out. He was very loyal. He loved music, especially the romantic stuff. He was very soft spoken, and hardly ever got really upset about anything. Didn't care too much about world events, but he'd listen to me go on and on. He wanted to study art in college. He loved outdoorsy activities: fishing, hiking, kayaking, camping,etc...He was a total goof ball, but hardly anyone knew. He didn't really trust people in general and rarely opened up, but those he opened up to were family to him.

So, INFP or ISFP?


Sounds alot like me, but I wanted to study engineering. I didnt do to well in school because I was bored. My sports was martial arts. I dont know about the romantic part, I think my idea of being romantic is different then my wifes, but I dont know. I would say ISFP.

edit: on the romantic, just look at the ESTP love tips thread and you will see what I do.
 

Hazle Weatherfield

New member
Joined
Mar 5, 2009
Messages
62
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w4
I would actually almost suggest INFJ, since your description reminds me of my ex too, who I suspect to be INFJ.

If we're thinking along the lines of functions, then, ISFP makes a great deal of sense too. I was about to comment on how close Ne and Se are and how easily they sometimes switch places, particularly with me at least, and I also wonder about the being late all the time thing. Wouldn't someone with strong Se be more on time? But there are other factors to consider as well. The being late may have something to do with miscommunication as well. I just had one yesterday with my XNFP boyfriend who was "late" in my eyes because he thought I was leaving to hang out with my girl friend 3 hours later than I actually was! I wonder if secondary Se users make as many misinterpretations. But of course, that depends on who they are communicating with. But now I ramble...
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
Poki, I read your romantic gesture post. Totally sounds like my ex in that regard. He would go in my locker in HS, without my knowing, and fill it up with random cute stuff that he knew would mean something to me: love letters, flowers(which I'm not that into, but the thought was it), toys that he got from McDonald's that he thought would make me laugh, whatever. He'd stick notes in random places for me to find them. :yes:

Ok, so nearly everyone's said ISFP. What's the biggest difference between an INFP man and an ISFP man in terms of their take on romance and relationships? Are INFPs typically jealous? My ex never guilted me about going out without him or anything, and he was always cool with all of my girlfriends. Are INFPs different? I've just read some negative things on here about INFPs which made me question rather or not he was one. I thought he was. He was also very low drama.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Poki, I read your romantic gesture post. Totally sounds like my ex in that regard. He would go in my locker in HS, without my knowing, and fill it up with random cute stuff that he knew would mean something to me: love letters, flowers(which I'm not that into, but the thought was it), toys that he got from McDonald's that he thought would make me laugh, whatever. He'd stick notes in random places for me to find them. :yes:

Ok, so nearly everyone's said ISFP. What's the biggest difference between an INFP man and an ISFP man in terms of their take on romance and relationships? Are INFPs typically jealous? My ex never guilted me about going out without him or anything, and he was always cool with all of my girlfriends. Are INFPs different? I've just read some negative things on here about INFPs which made me question rather or not he was one. I thought he was. He was also very low drama.


Oh geez...

Personally, I am low drama and rarely feel jealousy. INFPs are known to avoid conflict, to be accommodating, and to need and give a lot of space/independence.

From an INFP profile:
INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated.

INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships.

Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space


I imagine that both IxFPs can both be quite romantic. There's a thread an INFP made recently about a romantic surprise he planned for his wife. I think we mostly like to do it when it's unexpected (I know I dislike holidays and anything that feels "obligated").


The part that made me think ISFP is:

Didn't care too much about world events, but he'd listen to me go on and on. He wanted to study art in college. He loved outdoorsy activities: fishing, hiking, kayaking, camping,etc

INFPs are usually described as a bit more inclined to intellectual interests than athletic ones, and they tend to come off a bit more odd and/or dorky. I just don't see much example of Ne here, but lots of support for Se.


He didn't ask me out, he just assumed we were together

I feel like an INFP would need a verbal assurance of being a couple. An ISFP might observe all the signs and be content, but an INFP might get stuck in Ne questioning and need you to confirm what is real. We can be Se-tards who miss the obvious.
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
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6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
I agree ISFP
 

Charmed Justice

Nickle Iron Silicone
Joined
Jul 22, 2009
Messages
2,805
MBTI Type
INFJ
Oh geez...
Personally, I am low drama and rarely feel jealousy. INFPs are known to avoid conflict, to be accommodating, and to need and give a lot of space/independence.
LOL. Just saying that the negatives didn't sound at all like his negatives. I've never had any issue with an INFP.:smile:


I imagine that both IxFPs can both be quite romantic. There's a thread an INFP made recently about a romantic surprise he planned for his wife. I think we mostly like to do it when it's unexpected (I know I dislike holidays and anything that feels "obligated").
The bolded is one of my best girl friends. She isn't all that moved by holidays insofar as doing "special" things for other people. She just does stuff whenever she gets the feeling. My ex was big on holidays, and big on the idea of "family", but not necessarily biological family. More a family as friends guy, which is actually how I am too.

I feel like an INFP would need a verbal assurance of being a couple. An ISFP might observe all the signs and be content, but an INFP might get stuck in Ne questioning and need you to confirm what is real. We can be Se-tards who miss the obvious.
Ha! Maybe ENFPs too. I requested that he "officially" ask me out before staking claim to me. :D
 

Poki

New member
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Dec 4, 2008
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I feel like an INFP would need a verbal assurance of being a couple. An ISFP might observe all the signs and be content, but an INFP might get stuck in Ne questioning and need you to confirm what is real. We can be Se-tards who miss the obvious.

That nails ISxP types pretty good. I generally dont need any verbal reassurance. Se can pick up the signs pretty good. Whats not said, what is said, stumbling of words, looks, pauses, inflection, reaction, etc.
 
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