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  1. #1
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    Default No way I'm an NF

    I haven't visited these forums in a couple of months, and when I did, I spent most of my time over on the NF forum - something that never quite fit right, but was kind of a default choice.

    About a month ago, I started dating a guy who brought up MBTI and mentioned he was an INFP. That fit. He was soft, daydreamy, sweet, curious, physically uncoordinated and pliable.* And that's when I was pretty sure I was anything BUT an NF. I was also pretty sure that he wasn't the guy for me, but that's a whole other tangent...

    So now I'm back to square 1. Well, not square 1 exactly... I've become pretty adept at ruling things out. That process of elimination has left me wondering if I could be an ESTP - worlds away from where I started.

    The facts:

    -I talk too much
    -I love to joke around
    -I like sports (both playing and watching)
    -I'm usually the leader in most groups, but kind of a slacker leader
    -People often follow my ideas
    -I am pretty bad with follow-through
    -I'm good with presentations
    -People have told me I can seem cold (I'm not much of a toucher)
    -I love games
    -I'm not that comfortable dealing with emotions
    -I have an excellent memory - especially for dates
    -I don't effervesce
    -I'm impatient
    -I'm pretty grounded

    BUT...

    -I withdraw a lot; like a lot of alone time
    -I have a nostalgia streak, and I'm not usually comfortable with change
    -I'm extremely loyal
    -I'm usually better with summaries than with details
    -I'm often oblivious to my environment (barely notice new buildings in my neighborhood)
    -I can be very structured in some ways and don't like it when something interrupts my routines
    -I'm uncomfortable approaching new people
    -I'm something of a daydreamer myself

    So, does it sound like ESTP could be a possible fit, or should I start over again?

    *Disclaimer: this is not meant to describe every INFP.

  2. #2
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    ENTP at a guess...

    You don't seem to like detail which is why I said N - have you taken the test?

    The P is coming out loud and clear...
    The T is a reasonable guess
    The N is a maybe
    The E - is a big vague, you could be either.. but more E in my mind

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinkerbell View Post
    ENTP at a guess...

    You don't seem to like detail which is why I said N - have you taken the test?

    The P is coming out loud and clear...
    The T is a reasonable guess
    The N is a maybe
    The E - is a big vague, you could be either.. but more E in my mind
    Thanks for the response, Tinkerbell. Yeah, I've taken the test a bunch of times, and I'm very close on all the functions. I almost always score higher on the N side than the S side, but I just don't fit the personality of an NT at all. It's true that I don't like to deal with details, but I definitely have a realist streak in me (I'm not generally looking for ways to reinvent the wheel, you know?) You could be right though - I won't rule out ENTP.

  4. #4
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    None of what you listed precludes a person from being an NF... Didn't you have INxJ/INFJ as your type before?

  5. #5
    Magical BlackCat's Avatar
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    Yeah Ruthie when we exchanged a lot of PMs about enneagram you really didn't seem NF to me. NT might fit a bit better for you.

    Have you tried this site? Going by tinkerbell's lead, here is ENTP- ENTP

    Also be sure to check out the interaction styles, since they are also a factor in type. Interaction Styles
    () 9w8-3w4-7w6 tritype.

    sCueI (primary Inquisition)

  6. #6
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lauren Ashley View Post
    None of what you listed precludes a person from being an NF... Didn't you have INxJ/INFJ as your type before?
    Yeah, I did. Just never really fit.

  7. #7
    Senior Member tinkerbell's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruthie View Post
    Thanks for the response, Tinkerbell. Yeah, I've taken the test a bunch of times, and I'm very close on all the functions. I almost always score higher on the N side than the S side, but I just don't fit the personality of an NT at all. It's true that I don't like to deal with details, but I definitely have a realist streak in me (I'm not generally looking for ways to reinvent the wheel, you know?) You could be right though - I won't rule out ENTP.
    I have a huge reality streak in me... I'm pretty F at times, but at the back of it all I'm a T through and though...

    I'd say the place I notice the difference is if I emotionally like a guy, but I know it has no longevity, I wont pursue the relationship.... I will make a T decision at the detriment of my F.....

    I pick functionally better products etc....

    As Lauaren said - nothing procludes you from being an F type in what you wrote, appart from you doubting it...

    The only point I would say is how you describe your bloke as emotional etc...

    Stick with it, and just work through the letter and see where it leaves you

  8. #8
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    It was more the overall personality type than the functions. I've tried in the past to look function by function, and I ended up with something that would have been totally unrecognizable to anyone who knew me and the complete opposite of the way I actually behave.

    I don't think I'm an NF because I don't act like an NF. I recognize there's plenty of room for differentiation, but at some point it gets a bit ridiculous. Same with the P/J switch: have a theoretical conversation with me, and I seem like a J, but in reality, I'm laid back and bad with follow-through. I could bend it and twist it and use the reasoning that INFJs can seem like Ps, but again, I wind up justifying myself out of existence. E/I? Yeah, I like to be alone a lot, but I can't deny that I'm the person in the group who ALWAYS has a story to tell. I'm constantly chastising myself for talking too much. That's why I'm taking a different approach - trying to see which personality type as a whole fits and then looking through the functions.

  9. #9
    Blah Orangey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ruthie View Post
    It was more the overall personality type than the functions. I've tried in the past to look function by function, and I ended up with something that would have been totally unrecognizable to anyone who knew me and the complete opposite of the way I actually behave.

    I don't think I'm an NF because I don't act like an NF. I recognize there's plenty of room for differentiation, but at some point it gets a bit ridiculous. Same with the P/J switch: have a theoretical conversation with me, and I seem like a J, but in reality, I'm laid back and bad with follow-through. I could bend it and twist it and use the reasoning that INFJs can seem like Ps, but again, I wind up justifying myself out of existence. E/I? Yeah, I like to be alone a lot, but I can't deny that I'm the person in the group who ALWAYS has a story to tell. I'm constantly chastising myself for talking too much. That's why I'm taking a different approach - trying to see which personality type as a whole fits and then looking through the functions.
    I completely agree.

    Actually, I'm pretty sure that looking at individual functions is more confusing and convoluted than anything else. For one thing, behaviors underdetermine the functions that are being used. You could have two people behaving the same way but using two completely different sets of functions.

    It is better to go by overall fit with the descriptions. I have found that I mistype people precisely because I don't put enough stock in the descriptions. It's too easy to rationalize behavior that deviates from the descriptions (either the whole type descriptions or the functions) as being the result of stress, or the result of being a "weak" J or P, or the result of the inferior or shadow or whatever manifesting itself. That gets to be way too convoluted and takes away attention from overall patterns in behavior.
    Artes, Scientia, Veritasiness

  10. #10
    Senior Member Ruthie's Avatar
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    Thanks for the feedback. I took an honest look at entp, and I think I have to reject it. It's the NT thing... it just doesn't fit me. I'm feeling more comfortable seeing myself as an estp though, so I think I'll go with that for now. Hope it wears well.

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