No way I'm an NF

[Ruthie]

I haven't visited these forums in a couple of months, and when I did, I spent most of my time over on the NF forum - something that never quite fit right, but was kind of a default choice.

About a month ago, I started dating a guy who brought up MBTI and mentioned he was an INFP. That fit. He was soft, daydreamy, sweet, curious, physically uncoordinated and pliable.* And that's when I was pretty sure I was anything BUT an NF. I was also pretty sure that he wasn't the guy for me, but that's a whole other tangent...

So now I'm back to square 1. Well, not square 1 exactly... I've become pretty adept at ruling things out. That process of elimination has left me wondering if I could be an ESTP - worlds away from where I started.

The facts:

-I talk too much
-I love to joke around
-I like sports (both playing and watching)
-I'm usually the leader in most groups, but kind of a slacker leader
-People often follow my ideas
-I am pretty bad with follow-through
-I'm good with presentations
-People have told me I can seem cold (I'm not much of a toucher)
-I love games
-I'm not that comfortable dealing with emotions
-I have an excellent memory - especially for dates
-I don't effervesce
-I'm impatient
-I'm pretty grounded

BUT...

-I withdraw a lot; like a lot of alone time
-I have a nostalgia streak, and I'm not usually comfortable with change
-I'm extremely loyal
-I'm usually better with summaries than with details
-I'm often oblivious to my environment (barely notice new buildings in my neighborhood)
-I can be very structured in some ways and don't like it when something interrupts my routines
-I'm uncomfortable approaching new people
-I'm something of a daydreamer myself

So, does it sound like ESTP could be a possible fit, or should I start over again?

*Disclaimer: this is not meant to describe every INFP.

 

[tinkerbell]

ENTP at a guess...

You don't seem to like detail which is why I said N - have you taken the test?

The P is coming out loud and clear...
The T is a reasonable guess
The N is a maybe
The E - is a big vague, you could be either.. but more E in my mind

 

[Ruthie]

ENTP at a guess...

You don't seem to like detail which is why I said N - have you taken the test?

The P is coming out loud and clear...
The T is a reasonable guess
The N is a maybe
The E - is a big vague, you could be either.. but more E in my mind

Thanks for the response, Tinkerbell. Yeah, I've taken the test a bunch of times, and I'm very close on all the functions. I almost always score higher on the N side than the S side, but I just don't fit the personality of an NT at all. It's true that I don't like to deal with details, but I definitely have a realist streak in me (I'm not generally looking for ways to reinvent the wheel, you know?) You could be right though - I won't rule out ENTP.

 

[Lauren Ashley]

None of what you listed precludes a person from being an NF... Didn't you have INxJ/INFJ as your type before?

 

[BlackCat]

Yeah Ruthie when we exchanged a lot of PMs about enneagram you really didn't seem NF to me. NT might fit a bit better for you.

Have you tried this site? Going by tinkerbell's lead, here is ENTP- ENTP

Also be sure to check out the interaction styles, since they are also a factor in type. Interaction Styles

 

[Ruthie]

None of what you listed precludes a person from being an NF... Didn't you have INxJ/INFJ as your type before?

Yeah, I did. Just never really fit.

 

[tinkerbell]

Thanks for the response, Tinkerbell. Yeah, I've taken the test a bunch of times, and I'm very close on all the functions. I almost always score higher on the N side than the S side, but I just don't fit the personality of an NT at all. It's true that I don't like to deal with details, but I definitely have a realist streak in me (I'm not generally looking for ways to reinvent the wheel, you know?) You could be right though - I won't rule out ENTP.

I have a huge reality streak in me... I'm pretty F at times, but at the back of it all I'm a T through and though...

I'd say the place I notice the difference is if I emotionally like a guy, but I know it has no longevity, I wont pursue the relationship.... I will make a T decision at the detriment of my F.....

I pick functionally better products etc....

As Lauaren said - nothing procludes you from being an F type in what you wrote, appart from you doubting it...

The only point I would say is how you describe your bloke as emotional etc...

Stick with it, and just work through the letter and see where it leaves you

 

[Ruthie]

It was more the overall personality type than the functions. I've tried in the past to look function by function, and I ended up with something that would have been totally unrecognizable to anyone who knew me and the complete opposite of the way I actually behave.

I don't think I'm an NF because I don't act like an NF. I recognize there's plenty of room for differentiation, but at some point it gets a bit ridiculous. Same with the P/J switch: have a theoretical conversation with me, and I seem like a J, but in reality, I'm laid back and bad with follow-through. I could bend it and twist it and use the reasoning that INFJs can seem like Ps, but again, I wind up justifying myself out of existence. E/I? Yeah, I like to be alone a lot, but I can't deny that I'm the person in the group who ALWAYS has a story to tell. I'm constantly chastising myself for talking too much. That's why I'm taking a different approach - trying to see which personality type as a whole fits and then looking through the functions.

 

[Orangey]

It was more the overall personality type than the functions. I've tried in the past to look function by function, and I ended up with something that would have been totally unrecognizable to anyone who knew me and the complete opposite of the way I actually behave.

I don't think I'm an NF because I don't act like an NF. I recognize there's plenty of room for differentiation, but at some point it gets a bit ridiculous. Same with the P/J switch: have a theoretical conversation with me, and I seem like a J, but in reality, I'm laid back and bad with follow-through. I could bend it and twist it and use the reasoning that INFJs can seem like Ps, but again, I wind up justifying myself out of existence. E/I? Yeah, I like to be alone a lot, but I can't deny that I'm the person in the group who ALWAYS has a story to tell. I'm constantly chastising myself for talking too much. That's why I'm taking a different approach - trying to see which personality type as a whole fits and then looking through the functions.

I completely agree.

Actually, I'm pretty sure that looking at individual functions is more confusing and convoluted than anything else. For one thing, behaviors underdetermine the functions that are being used. You could have two people behaving the same way but using two completely different sets of functions.

It is better to go by overall fit with the descriptions. I have found that I mistype people precisely because I don't put enough stock in the descriptions. It's too easy to rationalize behavior that deviates from the descriptions (either the whole type descriptions or the functions) as being the result of stress, or the result of being a "weak" J or P, or the result of the inferior or shadow or whatever manifesting itself. That gets to be way too convoluted and takes away attention from overall patterns in behavior.

 

[Ruthie]

Thanks for the feedback. I took an honest look at entp, and I think I have to reject it. It's the NT thing... it just doesn't fit me. I'm feeling more comfortable seeing myself as an estp though, so I think I'll go with that for now. Hope it wears well.

 

[Asterion]

It was more the overall personality type than the functions. I've tried in the past to look function by function, and I ended up with something that would have been totally unrecognizable to anyone who knew me and the complete opposite of the way I actually behave.

I don't think I'm an NF because I don't act like an NF. I recognize there's plenty of room for differentiation, but at some point it gets a bit ridiculous. Same with the P/J switch: have a theoretical conversation with me, and I seem like a J, but in reality, I'm laid back and bad with follow-through. I could bend it and twist it and use the reasoning that INFJs can seem like Ps, but again, I wind up justifying myself out of existence. E/I? Yeah, I like to be alone a lot, but I can't deny that I'm the person in the group who ALWAYS has a story to tell. I'm constantly chastising myself for talking too much. That's why I'm taking a different approach - trying to see which personality type as a whole fits and then looking through the functions.

Seeing the forest and then the trees... well, well, doesn't that just remind you of something important

^is a douchebag

Wouldn't that suggest intuitive???

Thanks for the feedback. I took an honest look at entp, and I think I have to reject it. It's the NT thing... it just doesn't fit me. I'm feeling more comfortable seeing myself as an estp though, so I think I'll go with that for now. Hope it wears well.

If you can't relate to ENTP at all, you're probably not an ENTP, though I could be wrong there because there is a difference in dominant function, and you'd expect that different to be... well, dominant.

 

[OrangeAppled]

The facts:

-I talk too much
-I love to joke around
-I like sports (both playing and watching)
-I'm usually the leader in most groups, but kind of a slacker leader
-People often follow my ideas
-I am pretty bad with follow-through
-I'm good with presentations
-People have told me I can seem cold (I'm not much of a toucher)
-I love games
-I'm not that comfortable dealing with emotions
-I have an excellent memory - especially for dates
-I don't effervesce
-I'm impatient
-I'm pretty grounded

BUT...

-I withdraw a lot; like a lot of alone time
-I have a nostalgia streak, and I'm not usually comfortable with change
-I'm extremely loyal
-I'm usually better with summaries than with details
-I'm often oblivious to my environment (barely notice new buildings in my neighborhood)
-I can be very structured in some ways and don't like it when something interrupts my routines
-I'm uncomfortable approaching new people
-I'm something of a daydreamer myself

ESTP seems like a fit to me. As for liking summary over details, I find ESTPs are big on stuff like bullet points. Is your preference possibly due to impatience with theory? Do you want to get to the point fast so you can make practical application? I'm just pointing out that the motivation for certain behavior and context/circumstance can clarify S/N sometimes.

Most of your "BUT" list sounds SJ over NF, IMO, and some of it just sounds like social anxiety and being human (we all need alone time).