My mom CAN'T be ENTJ.. can she?

[alpaca]

So a while back my mom tested as ENTJ, to which I immediately said "no, I don't think so." Then she tested again five months later, and again got ENTJ. She just seems too... inwardly sensitive.

My mom does value logic, which I'm sure she got from her (likely ENTJ) father. But she does in a very inconsistent manner. I frequently feel the need to talk her out of unreasonable things, but sometimes I think she's playing devil's advocate the whole time. She enjoys questioning everything I say, no matter what I say. She relies heavily on the advice of her friends and is very sensitive to social disapproval or social standing, and doesn't seem to consider that the myriad advice from all of her friends contradict each other, which is why she is constantly changing her mind.

She doesn't talk much about when she was younger, but said that she used to be very into hiking, nature, philosophy and even solitude. I guess she used to be more like me in that way. She was very popular with the guys, and saw attractiveness in lots of different types (which I can't relate to). She always needed to prove herself to the guys, driving tractors and the like. Again, I think this is because of her father and not necessarily her natural tendencies.

She cries only during movies, which I think she feels is a "safe" outlet. She cares about things a lot more than she'd admit. Handles stress very well, but sometimes doesn't stand up for herself-- and doesn't physically enforce her rules, but rather tries to convince her family that she is right (which doesn't go well with the inconsistency). She's not great at keeping secrets and always likes to help. She does get up super early each morning to have the house to herself.

I don't understand ENTJs, other than having been in a rather turbulent relationship with one. I love my mom very much, but often can't understand where she is coming from. Do you think she might be this type in a "learned" sense, or a natural one?

 

[JocktheMotie]

Sounds FJ to me. Sometimes people don't like to think of themselves as not logical because they think it's a flaw, when it's really not.

 

[Fluffywolf]

And it's pretty common for F's to misinterpret the questions.

*cough*

*hides*

 

[notsweetynice]

Interesting. It's hard to type a parent or child because we see them through their role and ours. Female Ts will be a bit more empathic and sensitive than a male T...It still doesn't make them an F. She sounds like a possible INTJ to me, but that's just a hunch. I think we need some more info, especially about when she was younger.

 

[alpaca]

Sounds FJ to me. Sometimes people don't like to think of themselves as not logical because they think it's a flaw, when it's really not.

You know what, that sounds pretty likely. She does think very highly of intellectualism, but I think more in a social sense. She also loves the nerdy types, so she's delighted that my little sis is going out with a talented pianist.

I can't help but think that her quiet nature when she was younger indicates that she might have been introverted. Could she have changed? I also feel like she might be a sensing type, because there's a large part of her personality that I just don't get. How would I know?

 

[alpaca]

Interesting. It's hard to type a parent or child because we see them through their role and ours. Female Ts will be a bit more empathic and sensitive than a male T...It still doesn't make them an F. She sounds like a possible INTJ to me, but that's just a hunch. I think we need some more info, especially about when she was younger.

When she was 16 she backpacked by herself across Europe. While she was there, she wondered if people liked her for her long hair so she cut it off, then sort of regretted it because she got less attention She was very, very into nature-- then again, her father made his kids hike across the Sierras even after his son lost his shoe. My mom once wrote in a journal about philosophy and nature and spiritual stuff, which made me think she might have been introverted. All of her kids are introverts and I think it might be genetic.

Today she might as well be called an atheist, but goes to church for the practical social aspects. Her mother's Hindu spiritualism gets on her nerves, and she certainly won't sit still for the meditation She always needs to be doing something productive.

 

[Jaguar]

She relies heavily on the advice of her friends and is very sensitive to social disapproval or social standing, and doesn't seem to consider that the myriad advice from all of her friends contradict each other, which is why she is constantly changing her mind.

What's in your quote is not an ENTJ.

 

[alpaca]

And it's pretty common for F's to misinterpret the questions.

*cough*

*hides*

Haha, what, are you a closet infp?

 

[Alwar]

Your mother sounds like a strange hybrid of both my mother and father. I could see my own mother taking the test and convincing herself that she has characteristics that she actually does not. There doesn't seem to be a solid way to truly identify these preferences unless you have access to an instrument that can directly observe the brain, for example, neuroscientists can identify introverts and extroverts by blood flow patterns.

Also, people can change, but perhaps not in a fundamental way. When I look back at the goofy things I used to believe even five years ago, it seems like I was a different person in hindsight, but it was just a lack of understanding that effected the way I behaved.

she wondered if people liked her for her long hair so she cut it off

Abomination! A woman's hair is her glory!

 

[Fluffywolf]

Haha, what, are you a closet infp?

I'm deviously trying not to be chased by an angry F mob, by coating my response with a lil' humor. No worries though, F's attention span isn't long enough to bridge this post and my earlier post. So I'll get away with explaining it to you.

 

[alpaca]

Abomination! A woman's hair is her glory!

Hehe, I used to live by polygamists and this is what they thought. They couldn't wear makeup but they COULD make their hair into a big showy puff on top of their heads.

 

[OrangeAppled]

And it's pretty common for F's to misinterpret the questions.

*cough*

*hides*

Just as common as it is for MBTI tests to be written poorly


OP, your mom sounds ENFJ from your description. Being a feeler doesn't mean someone cannot use logic, but it's usually just not cut off from ethical values. Maybe that is what seems "inconsistent" to you.

An intuitive is likely to enjoy questioning things also. I think some NFs have copped to enjoying playing devil's advocate, myself included, although I would call it just playing with different perspectives to clarify an issue.

 

[NewEra]

Definitely does not seem ENTJ, or any T type for that matter.

I would say she's ExFJ.