Hello. I'm new here, but not new to typology. I'm very familiar with the Enneagram and know my type well. I'm somewhat familiar with the MBTI but, after years of thinking of myself as ENFP I've come to believe I'm either ENFJ or XNFX. I'd love some help sorting this out.
I'll explain my conundrum. First, I vs E. Most people would describe me as extraverted, and I think I am but just slightly. My job entails leading groups and public speaking. I'm told I come across as warm, engaging, and dynamic, even with strangers. However, these qualities are much more pronounced when I'm leading a group or relating one-on-one. Outside of leading groups and the occasional family event, I never spend time in groups. I'm uncomfortable and easily overstimulated. I don't even go out with more than one friend at a time. I don't need tons of time alone (though I do spend hours alone working) but I also don't spend much time socializing with other people except to talk with my close friends on the phone, usually daily, or to be with my SO.
Next, J vs P. In my social life, I'm very much P (though I'm very punctual) but outside of my social life I'm very much J. I hate making plans with people to socialize because I feel trapped and only do so if I know I really want to see that person. I don't even like making a firm time to talk on the phone. But in every area except for socializing, I have and like structure. I work independently but still with structure. I'm all about to-do lists, having an organized home and car, and am very goal-oriented.
I may be explaining the temperaments incorrectly; I apologize if that's the case. MB isn't my forte.
Any feedback would be much appreciated. My career is shifting and I've been confronted with an unexpected resistance to extraverting, so I'd like to understand where this is coming from.