Sexual 1 - Seeking Intimacy/Intensity
Sexual Ones focus their perfectionism on their intimate relationships, holding an ideal image of what a relationship should be like and measuring their intimates against this standard. For this reason, many Sexual Ones have difficulty finding a life partner that meets their criteria
—there is always some characteristic in the potential mate that falls short of their expectations. They may also harbor expectations of creating a perfect family, but this must begin with finding a mate who understands and shares their passion for their mission. When Sexual Ones find a partner who they believe shares their values, they become
extremely excited and highly protective of their relationship. They may also idealize the partner
, constantly striving to feel worthy of the other's love. Nonetheless, anxieties about the partner's losing the shared values may cause Sexual Ones to become critical of the other. They want to remind the partner of the high standards that they both live by but they can create problems in the relationship by trying to keep the other "on track." Nonetheless, they are passionate about their intimates and devoted to keeping their relationships moving toward higher ground.
May be preoccupied with their romantic partner. Have high expectations based on having idealized their beloved. Their partner is supposed to be perfect man or woman. One's reaction is jealous judgment if their beloved acts in less-than-ideal ways. Jealous Ones may drive partners away with endless criticism. Can have a dependent tendency related to the low side of 2. Most intimate Ones have a 2 wing.
Also there's a melancholy yearning and fear of abandonment fueling the One's criticism. Connection to the low side of 4.
Social 1 - Seeking Acceptance/Belonging/Inclusion/Status
Social Ones focus their perfectionism in the social realm; thus, they are interested in local and world affairs. What is going on with the school district? Has that new environmental legislation been passed?
Why doesn't anyone care about the enormous problem of world hunger? Social Ones take these issues personally, and they devote their time and energy to bringing people's attention to social ills. In other words, they do not want merely to talk about problems, they want to get involved and take action.
While they may work tirelessly for the causes that they care about, Social Ones may have trouble developing a personal life. They are not particularly interested in social ease, for themselves or for others; rather, they are concerned with finding the "right way" for people to conduct themselves with one another. When they are more identified with this attitude, they may feel that others do not know what is best for them. With regard to themselves, Social Ones feel that personal needs can be addressed only after more pressing social problems have been faced. <-- WTF does that mean? "I can only seek therapy after I have ended world poverty single handedly"???
This zeal can be hard on their families and intimates, but people are often amazed by the strength of the Social One's convictions and are grateful for the good work that they contribute to the community.
Social subtype Ones are everywhere in the movies, probably because they create dramatic friction. Characterized by a preoccupation with rules and how they should apply to (other) people's behavior. Tend to moralize and apply old standards inflexibly to each new situation. Believe they are representatives of a larger social order or tradition. They're not, of course - acting as if they represent the rules is their psychological defense. Usually had great uncertainty in childhood, at least one undependable parent. Made themselves rigid to feel strong, aligned with the rules to contain their anxiety. Tend to depersonalize their own feelings, hope to be above criticism.
Social Ones can have either wing, though a 9 wing brings rules that are more abstract and inhuman-sounding.
Self-Preservation 1 - Seeking Saftey/Comfort
Self-Preservation Ones focus their resentment and perfectionism in areas of health, self-management, and homemaking. They are not necessarily worked up about the plight of refugees in the Third World but may have very firm convictions about proper diet and exercise or the best way to maintain one's household or family budget. Self-Pres Ones like to be organized, to have their life structured, and their possessions put in their proper place.
They are neat, punctual, and fastidious—sometimes to a fault. They believe that controlling the "dirt" and chaos in their lives will enhance their well being, even their survival. It seems to them that a well-ordered life is the best hedge against chaos [NOTE: I mean "life" generally, not "health, self-management and homemaking".]
and danger, and they are concerned that any mistakes on their part could have dire consequences. Thus, they tend to be careful and meticulous in the planning of their lives. Many Self-Pres Ones also take an active interest in preventative health matters: vitamins, cleansing diets and fasts, exercise routines, alternative medicine, and cutting-edge medical knowledge.
Characterized by a tendency towards worry and negative anticipation, especially as it relates to material well-being. Can seem a little like Sixes. They fret about how to avoid making mistakes that could jeopardize survival. Petty, finicky quality; could seem "penny-wise and pound-foolish." Sense of being
undeserving or inadequate
- try to compensate with worry. As a parent or friend, they might be critical and nurturing by turns, wanting to protect you from the same negative consequences they worry about.