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  1. #21
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elaur View Post
    Ahahah you just summed up what me dating an ESFP is like.
    Oh I'm so sorry. BUT I bet you guys know how to have fun!
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  2. #22
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    Karen I am very happy that you realize you are ESFP. When I learned I was INFP (after years thinking I was ISFJ) I found the experience to be freeing. I really appreciate what you said about giving criticism without it sounding like criticism (I didn't realize until I read your post that I was doing that), and I am very interested in that book about marriage.

    Most of my friends in life have been ESFPs. My mother is an ESFP, my father is an ISFP (and I am very close to my parents). My best friend right now is an ESFP, my best friend in high school was an ESFP, and the best friend after that. It's funny because even though you said you needed concrete examples, and I should have plenty of concrete examples and anecdotes, I still based most of post on theory. It was actually hard for me to come up with the few examples I did. But I do have one example I would like to share.

    Right now my best friend is in Poland. She's traveled all over the world, and lived in several different countries. 7 years ago she set out to be a Spanish teacher, a wife, a mother, and a full-time Bible teacher. She has been all of those things except for a mother (she's still only 25), in addition to traveling the world and taking advantage of opportunities as they arose. She has lived and worked in Africa, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Mexico, France. She has made so many friends. She is also beautiful, a fabulous dresser, a great teacher, charming, personable, and always on the go. She is always trying to improve herself yet she is very generous and runs herself ragged for her family and friends. She is wonderful with children and animals, and men are drawn to her like a magnet.

    Through it all she has been a VERY GOOD AND LOYAL friend to me. Once I went a whole year mired in depression and didn't talk to her at all, and she still left me voicemails and sent emails telling me about her cats or her students, and sent me letters and pictures keeping me up-to-date on her life. I think she knew that most of the time I wasn't even picking up my messages or checking my emails, but she maintained a bond to me and I will be eternally grateful for that (I'm better now and we talk all the time and visit). She (along with my ESFP mother) taught me how to dress, apply makeup, shop, look good, and care about my appearance because it makes me feel good.

    So if I could in any way help another wonderful ESFP to know that they are ESFP and how great that is, I am very happy.

  3. #23
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinspring View Post
    Introverted intuition is always seeing symbols and finding hidden personal meanings in things, and all SPs value introverted intuition and like to use it even though they are not as strong as NJs.
    This was a really good post, but I have to point out this part isn't true. Personally, I don't value "introverted intuition" at all, and have yet to be convinced that it's ever really a positive thing. I don't like to use it, and if I ever have, then I apologize to whoever I used it on. I hate it when people see "hidden meanings" in things, and I think it's likely the cause of a ton of conflicts in the world.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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  4. #24
    Senior Member KarenParker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ladyinspring View Post
    Karen I am very happy that you realize you are ESFP. When I learned I was INFP (after years thinking I was ISFJ) I found the experience to be freeing. I really appreciate what you said about giving criticism without it sounding like criticism (I didn't realize until I read your post that I was doing that), and I am very interested in that book about marriage.

    Most of my friends in life have been ESFPs. My mother is an ESFP, my father is an ISFP (and I am very close to my parents). My best friend right now is an ESFP, my best friend in high school was an ESFP, and the best friend after that. It's funny because even though you said you needed concrete examples, and I should have plenty of concrete examples and anecdotes, I still based most of post on theory. It was actually hard for me to come up with the few examples I did. But I do have one example I would like to share.

    Right now my best friend is in Poland. She's traveled all over the world, and lived in several different countries. 7 years ago she set out to be a Spanish teacher, a wife, a mother, and a full-time Bible teacher. She has been all of those things except for a mother (she's still only 25), in addition to traveling the world and taking advantage of opportunities as they arose. She has lived and worked in Africa, Costa Rica, Jamaica, Mexico, France. She has made so many friends. She is also beautiful, a fabulous dresser, a great teacher, charming, personable, and always on the go. She is always trying to improve herself yet she is very generous and runs herself ragged for her family and friends. She is wonderful with children and animals, and men are drawn to her like a magnet.

    Through it all she has been a VERY GOOD AND LOYAL friend to me. Once I went a whole year mired in depression and didn't talk to her at all, and she still left me voicemails and sent emails telling me about her cats or her students, and sent me letters and pictures keeping me up-to-date on her life. I think she knew that most of the time I wasn't even picking up my messages or checking my emails, but she maintained a bond to me and I will be eternally grateful for that (I'm better now and we talk all the time and visit). She (along with my ESFP mother) taught me how to dress, apply makeup, shop, look good, and care about my appearance because it makes me feel good.

    So if I could in any way help another wonderful ESFP to know that they are ESFP and how great that is, I am very happy.
    OK you are officially scaring me. My mom is an INFP and I'm ESFP! You're and INFP and your mom's an ESFP! I really like my mom. She was a very cuddly mom when I was a little kid and loved to watch movies with me and let me sing songs in the backyard all evening when I was supposed to be taking a bath. It was quite a contrast from my dad, who is an ESTJ and was always dragging me around making sure I had eaten my dinner, picked up my room, got to bed on time, etc.

    I loved your story about your ESFP friend. She sounds like a good one. The book that I read was by John Gottman, called the Seven Principles of Making Marriage Work. I thought it was just some regular self-help book but it's actually a HUGE body of research about what makes marriages work and not work that has been going on for decades. I could seriously talk about that book for hours. I mostly like it because it has solid scientific evidence to back it up and it's not some yuppie book saying that you can save your marriage if you go out on dates every once in a while.
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  5. #25
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    What a great thread, really good advice.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  6. #26
    Protocol Droid Athenian200's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    This was a really good post, but I have to point out this part isn't true. Personally, I don't value "introverted intuition" at all, and have yet to be convinced that it's ever really a positive thing. I don't like to use it, and if I ever have, then I apologize to whoever I used it on. I hate it when people see "hidden meanings" in things, and I think it's likely the cause of a ton of conflicts in the world.
    I don't necessarily like it when people read "hidden meanings" into things at all, and it IS the cause of a lot of conflicts in the world.

    Ni doesn't cause people to read hidden meanings into things, anymore than Fe causes people to be manipulative.

    Ni CAN read hidden meanings into things, but that's not all it does, and other functions such as Si, Fi, Ti, or Ne can do so as well. It also involves imagining the possible ways in which the present situation might develop in the future, and trying to see reality from more than one perspective. MBTI itself involves trying to look at things from the perspective of multiple functions and types... this is a very Ni endeavor.

    You may not value a function, but you can't completely avoid using and acknowledging it. All the functions and perspectives are there, whether you want them to be or not.

  7. #27
    Intriguing.... Quinlan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    This was a really good post, but I have to point out this part isn't true. Personally, I don't value "introverted intuition" at all, and have yet to be convinced that it's ever really a positive thing. I don't like to use it, and if I ever have, then I apologize to whoever I used it on. I hate it when people see "hidden meanings" in things, and I think it's likely the cause of a ton of conflicts in the world.
    That's quite a simplistic view of Ni, it's like saying "Se is only concerned about the present, not thinking about the consequences of our actions is likely the cause of a ton of conflicts in the world, therefore nothing positive comes from Se".

    Every function looks bad in isolation, functions are supposed to be used together, and I bet that you do use Ni in tandem with other functions all the time.
    Act your age not your enneagram number.

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  8. #28
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    This was a really good post, but I have to point out this part isn't true. Personally, I don't value "introverted intuition" at all, and have yet to be convinced that it's ever really a positive thing. I don't like to use it, and if I ever have, then I apologize to whoever I used it on. I hate it when people see "hidden meanings" in things, and I think it's likely the cause of a ton of conflicts in the world.
    Ni is likely the cause of a ton of conflict in the world? You know you need to take a break from MBTI when you are writing sentences like the ones contained in this paragraph. I don't understand how with you being so seemingly well-read on MBTI that you've come to conclude Ni as simply reading hidden meaning into things. And have become so hostile towards it...a function. Now if someone were to take such an erroneous viewpoint on Se, you would be quick to correct them. Ridiculous.

  9. #29
    Freshman Member simulatedworld's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeffster View Post
    This was a really good post, but I have to point out this part isn't true. Personally, I don't value "introverted intuition" at all, and have yet to be convinced that it's ever really a positive thing. I don't like to use it, and if I ever have, then I apologize to whoever I used it on. I hate it when people see "hidden meanings" in things, and I think it's likely the cause of a ton of conflicts in the world.
    No offense, but that's because your Ni sucks.

    Most types say things similar to this about their weak functions.
    If you could be anything you want, I bet you'd be disappointed--am I right?

  10. #30
    veteran attention whore Jeffster's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by simulatedworld View Post
    No offense, but that's because your Ni sucks.
    Well of course I don't take offense, I just said I didn't value it, so why would I be upset that it sucks?

    But, anyway guys, I was responding to what ladyspring posted specifically about the hidden meaning stuff. I did not claim to be posting an objective view on "Ni." And I also said I am not yet convinced meaning I am entirely open to the possibility of being convinced that it is something worthwhile. It just hasn't happened yet, and I have found myself moving in the other direction based on what people have posted on this forum about it. I am a stubborn mule sometimes, I fully admit. But I am not close-minded. I am always scanning for information, and I am not arrogant enough to believe I know it all. Definitely not when it comes to something like the human brain.

    So, Lauren, I would NOT be quick to correct an "erroneous viewpoint on Se." Because "Se" itself has no value to me either. An abstract function apart from a person is just a concept, so it needs no defending. I have corrected people who make false assumptions about people who happen to be SP types, because people are real and worth sticking up for. I hope you understand where I'm coming from a little better now.

    But in the interest of not completely screwing up Karen's thread, I suggest we talk about this elsewhere. I think I might make a personal thread about it or something.
    Jeffster Illustrates the Artisan Temperament <---- click here

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