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  1. #1
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Default Could upbringing change your natural type?

    I have often wondered if I might not be ISFJ, but ISTJ or even ESTJ. Growing up with a very unhealthy father I was forced to be quiet, my family pretty much kept to themselves. So as I grew up my social skills left a lot to be desired.

    I remember in pre-school being domineering and insisting on my way, not sure if that was the extroversion or being an only child at that time. I also hate doing or being alone. I won't even go into the kitchen by myself. I hate cooking, washing dishes isn't so bad as long as I have the company of my SO or one of my kids, even a friend sitting and talking to me would do.

    Again about the F/T, growing up feeling like I was walking on eggshells forced me to feel out my situation so as not to upset the delicate balance of not making my father angry. We would sit at the table completely quiet not making noise or sound just in case.

    My family was very traditional in the sense of father working and mother sitting at home taking care of the kids. My father is ESTJ and my mom is INFJ. So of course everything had to be orderly at all times, routines set, and we were raised "kids were to be seen and definitely not heard."

    When I first took the test years ago I kept coming up with ISTJ. My job at the time might have had something to do with it and the fact that I don't talk that much at home. So I'm still not sure about my typing, but anyhow.

    Any thoughts on upbringing possibly changing an inherited personality type? Comments and thoughts requested, it doesn't have to pertain to me especially, but if you have experience or can relate. I would appreciate it.
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  2. #2
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    I think it can.

    I know a lot of people with bad childhoods who are INFJ's or INFP's. Also, someone I know should probably test as ESFJ or ESFP but tested as ENFP, probably from her perceived bad childhood.

    Not my upbringing, but the people I have been around had affected me at a young age.

    I think type does in fact change, although some people beg to differ. The brain is in a constant state of changing.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  3. #3
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Antimony View Post
    I think it can.

    I know a lot of people with bad childhoods who are INFJ's or INFP's. Also, someone I know should probably test as ESFJ or ESFP but tested as ENFP, probably from her perceived bad childhood.

    Not my upbringing, but the people I have been around had affected me at a young age.

    I think type does in fact change, although some people beg to differ. The brain is in a constant state of changing.
    Thanks Antimony, this kind of reminds me of a movie where the president was talking about everyone mixing until we had mixed so much that there weren't any such thing as different races. I can't remember the name of the movie, it figures when you want the name it never comes and when you forget about it then it comes to you.
    Johari / Nohari

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    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    Thanks Antimony, this kind of reminds me of a movie where the president was talking about everyone mixing until we had mixed so much that there weren't any such thing as different races. I can't remember the name of the movie, it figures when you want the name it never comes and when you forget about it then it comes to you.
    Lol it's alright. Yea, everything is subject to change (at least I like to think so. I hate being closed in on anything)

    All the same race...wow that would be interesting. And boring. I like the way black people's skin look. Like, people who are actually BLACK. Black skin is pretty. I am fond of my fair skin, but black skin is cool. I wouldn't do interracial, but yea.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  5. #5
    Pronounced eye-ee-dee Eiddy's Avatar
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    I live in Egypt and people from Central Africa are a lot different from those in the states. They smile the biggest smiles you have ever seen, their teeth are so white, but really their smiles are just magnetic. It just puts you into the best mood when they smile your way, plus they are so funny. I would love to have one of them for a friend, I am sure they have plenty of friends, but who knows maybe someday I will be lucky enough to work with them.
    Johari / Nohari

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  6. #6
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    I've wondered about this as well, especially with people I know who were abused or had very traumatic events in their lives. I wonder, though, if instead of a person's original type changing, they just test differently due to the ways they've learned to think and behave.

    One of the best pieces of advice I got from a friend was to take the test as fast as possible, picking whatever words naturally appealed to me. If I took a test now and thought about my answers for too long, I could see the results being skewed by learned habits and behaviors.
    I-71%, N-80%, F-74%, P-96%

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    It doesn't change initial preference, but depending on how early in upbringing it happens, it can channel the direction the preference is expressed OR conflict with it. The specifics of the people and of the situation itself determine how well the programming takes and whether it persists in later years when the environment changes.

    The more repressive the original environment or the more it carelessly overrides preference, the worse things are later in life, usually.... and the more of a chance for a complete crash-and-burn and/or reversion to (to some degree) original preference.

    Face it, there are just some things that are inborn -- it's why boy babies raised as girls after circumcision (accidents) and not told end up being miserable as girls and often revert to original boy status when older. Personality is a bit more vague, but there are still preferences that exist.

    Personal anecdote: Our one son is the only Extrovert in our family. Some of us are strong introverts. We automatically tried to imprint a more introverted behavior pattern on him... and it almost ruined him... his freewheeling beauty and gregariousness disappeared, he became very depressed (this is at 6 years old) and withdrawn, etc., and we had to back off and give him more opportunity to be loud and play around and experiment and get into things... and it all came back after a few months.... but it was amazing how forcing him to operate like an introvert really affected him. it was worth for us to try to figure out how to deal with the headaches and lack of as much control in order to see him dazzling as a star and being himself again.

    Kids are impressionable and at a disadvantage power-wise when growing up, most want to please their parents even if they fight over it. One has to be careful.

    In positive senses, you can still teach a P-style kid some discipline/structure traits; and when they get older, it can help them get through some tough times and be successful.
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  8. #8
    You're fired. Lol. Antimony's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jewelchild View Post
    I've wondered about this as well, especially with people I know who were abused or had very traumatic events in their lives. I wonder, though, if instead of a person's type changing, they just test differently due to the ways they've learned to think and behave.

    One of the best pieces of advice I got from a friend was to take the test as fast as possible, picking whatever words naturally appealed to me. If I took a test now and thought about my answers for too long, I could see the results being skewed by my learned behaviors (showing up on time, thinking analytically about certain things, learning to be friendly and enjoy the company of others, valuing reason over compassion in some cases, etc.)

    I couldn't say. I still think types can change. Like I said, we are human, and it is instinctive for the brain to evolve and be more adaptable.

    I don't like or think introvertedly anymore. I don't know if this is a part of growing up or what, but I am very different. Not just in preference, but they way I actually think.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eiddy View Post
    I live in Egypt and people from Central Africa are a lot different from those in the states. They smile the biggest smiles you have ever seen, their teeth are so white, but really their smiles are just magnetic. It just puts you into the best mood when they smile your way, plus they are so funny. I would love to have one of them for a friend, I am sure they have plenty of friends, but who knows maybe someday I will be lucky enough to work with them.
    That is so great haha

    Unfortunately, I don't like a lot of black people I have met. Then again, I don't like a lot of people specifically.
    Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

    Always reserve the right to become smarter at a future point in time, for only a fool limits themselves to all they knew in the past. -Alex

  9. #9
    Your time is gonna come. Oom's Avatar
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    Well, think of those feril wolf children. They don't seem to have types at all.

    I think the question hath been answered.

  10. #10
    Phantonym
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    When growing up, I was really energetic, domineering and leading others. Maybe not so much that it would make me an E but still very different from what I am now. And I was definitely more S but that could be about being surrounded by S's. There's always been this mentality of quiet invisible children in my family too. My family has always kept to themselves. Very little socializing and only with close relatives. And emotional coldness was definitely prevalent. So I can definitely relate to the underdeveloped social skills.
    My father (ISTJ) has always been the "authority" in the family. Not very vocal about it and not forcing others to obey, but there was always this silent understanding that he's the boss around the house when I was growing up. Any attempt to express my opinions or hopes and dreams were simply brushed off as being insignificant by all the members of my family. I have been very, very introverted since my early teens. Sure, this can be explained by hitting puberty and teenage social anxiety. But I was definitely less introverted as a child and more easy going.

    Maybe it's not so much about changing type but would upbringing influence the strength of preferences?

    Edit: I'm a slow typer. Sorry to repeat things already said in previous posts.
    Last edited by Phantonym; 07-13-2009 at 12:35 PM. Reason: *forehead slap*

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