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Mi novio: ENTP or ENFP?

ZiL

New member
Joined
Nov 27, 2007
Messages
511
MBTI Type
ENTP
Enneagram
567?
So I've been dating this guy for a little over 4 months, and I've known him on and off since we were kids. Until recently I figured he was a fellow ENTP - this seemed to be the best-fitting type as far as I could tell. He took an online test once and came out INTP, and later took one in one of his college classes and came out ENTP. I have no real doubts that he's an extrovert, and I'm just about positive he's primary Ne, but lately I've come to wonder about the accuracy of the T/F thing. He has a real penchant for talking about being true to your real self, stating his opinions about things pretty strongly (even when he doesn't seem to have the facts to back up his opinions - seems he's more comfortable with reacting by how he feels about things than by taking in all the information and going from there, though he is capable of both)... one of the things that actually irritates me about him is how at times he talks as if he is such a unique individual - he sets himself apart from me in areas where I feel we have real commonalities. For example, he's really into environmental activism, but he's the type who likes to jump into protests. Me - I like to research things and patterns and appeal to people through information and persuasion (Fe?)...he seems more interested in making a statement through making his voice heard loudly. Because I'm not so overt about my interests - because I'm not the type to suggest a protest or graffiti within the first breath - I think he underestimates my interest in his causes. But I just approach things differently.

So anyway, I was wondering if this isn't representative of secondary Fi instead of Ti. And, for that matter, Te instead of Fe.

Another thing of note - he's more prone to being a romantic than I am. He can say mushy things seriously that I find difficult to reciprocate. And he's very interested in the continued growth of the relationship. Don't get me wrong, I am too, but I don't bring things up like he does. He seems to have a latent trajectory in mind that he'd like to follow, though he's flexible about it (Te?).

We also often perceive interpersonal situations differently. I find I agree with most of my ESFJ best friend's analyses about interpersonal things (we link up on Fe), but some of the things my boyfriend says hit me out of left field, though I can see his point once I think about it. He is a very friendly individual, but he's prone to being - what shall I say? - overgregarious and annoying the hell out of some groups he hangs around. He's not great at matching the tone of groups he's in. And I imagine, though he has a people-pleasing streak, he wouldn't really care to match the tone that much anyway. Not if he feels it's eroding his sense of individuality past a certain point.

Now he is 19 (soon to be 20), so I don't know if some of this has to do with that, but I'm pretty positive about my type, and though we are very similar, I'm starting to reinterpret some of our differences within the lovely ol' frame of MBTI. They may be more than intratype variation.


Long post! So, what do you think?
 

Little Linguist

Striving for balance
Joined
Jun 23, 2008
Messages
6,880
MBTI Type
xNFP
Instinctual Variant
sx/so
I usually test as a T when my Te is especially strong, but I think most people on this forum would never doubt my F-ness for a minute.

He could very well be ENFP. But I'm no expert. Perhaps someone else can help you more.
 

redacted

Well-known member
Joined
Nov 28, 2007
Messages
4,223
I dunno if I've ever heard an ENTP use the phrase "being true to yourself" without laughing at the cliche.
 

Lady_X

Well-known member
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Messages
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ENFP
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sounds enfp to me.
 

BlueScreen

Fail 2.0
Joined
Nov 8, 2008
Messages
2,668
MBTI Type
YMCA
How sure are you about the N?

I've never said the line mentioned above, because the cliche would kill me also. I don't really rush into action blind either. Though I had a crazy spell in my early 20s so anything is possible.
 

ZiL

New member
Joined
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Messages
511
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ENTP
Enneagram
567?
How sure are you about the N?

I've never said the line mentioned above, because the cliche would kill me also. I don't really rush into action blind either. Though I had a crazy spell in my early 20s so anything is possible.


I'm pretty positive about the N. We go off on the craziest tangents - his humor is very Ne, and often times I'm about the only one who can follow his thought processes in a group. He jumps all over the place, but I've been able to finish his sentences. I might make him sound more action-oriented than he actually is. He only wants to take quick action when it's in regard to some ideal he's passionate about. I just feel he has a tendency to jump the gun, and a large part of it may be due to his age.

He also doesn't say cliche-ish things about individuality all the time, and he can make fun of himself plenty. But he does it enough for me to notice it and notice that I don't relate to that manner of thinking (maybe I might've in early high school, but now I don't). And he admits he has a pretty big ego that needs to be turned down.

It's just difficult to tell, because he can put on this very macho act at times, and yet when you corner him on it, he becomes very sensitive and receptive, not realizing that he was bothering you, and immediately wanting to make a change. But he can't match the tone of a group by himself - you really have to call him out on things to get him to realize how he's acting.

I feel we perceive things in a similar way, but I can't tell if he rationalizes everything like I tend to, or operates more based on his personal feelings about what he perceives. And I can't tell if age is being a very confounding factor. He admits that he has a lot to learn, and that if we'd tried to date any earlier, he probably wouldn't have been ready at all.


He's a very interesting specimen in that he's so familiar to me, and yet there are differences that I can't quite pinpoint. "Specimen," lol. Who talks this way?
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
I think he sounds ENfP, simply because of the way you say he interacts with others when trying to discuss an issue, or convince them of something. Appealing to a general value system that might be shared instead of equiping someone to make an educated judgement does sound more F than T, however what you say about his difficulty in "molding to the atmosphere of the group" is something that conflicts abit, since in my limited ENFP experience they have always seemed like genuine naturals in the social arena, not to mention ENTPs do as well.

He could very much have a good balance, and since he is 19, that's not really that old. I'm only 22, and I know that the difference in my behavior, temperament, ideas, etc, were much different when I began college than it is now. He might still be figuring a couple things out.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
Joined
Jan 2, 2009
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6,387
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ENTP
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7w8
He's most likely an ENTP and like Jock said is just trying on something new, trying to find his place. We all go through stages. All that talk of being true to yourself may just be him trying to convince himself of that. And when you date someone of the same type, one person usually overcompensates. I was into the whole protest thing when I was that age, too. But at the end of the day, does it really matter what he is?

If you really want to know for sure, ask how he feels about your relationship. You'll see it clearly then.
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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Aug 19, 2008
Messages
3,067
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INFJ
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4
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sx/sp
[...] stating his opinions about things pretty strongly (even when he doesn't seem to have the facts to back up his opinions - seems he's more comfortable with reacting by how he feels about things than by taking in all the information and going from there, though he is capable of both)... one of the things that actually irritates me about him is how at times he talks as if he is such a unique individual - he sets himself apart from me in areas where I feel we have real commonalities. For example, he's really into environmental activism, but he's the type who likes to jump into protests [...]

Sounds like my brother, an ENFP that tests ENTP. He is so caught up in being unique/different that his final response to being typed was "I'm not an ENTP or ENFP, I'm me." And he is a big activist, "fight the power" type. But those points also apply to his (actual) ENTP friend so, hmmm.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
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Messages
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If you really want to know for sure, ask how he feels about your relationship. You'll see it clearly then.

Could you elaborate on this part? Do NFs or Fs in general always have a good sense of the temperature of their relationships and how they feel about it? I know if you ever asked me that question my brain would be stunned and I'd have to get back to you. I could imagine myself saying "Uhh...well it's nice and we have fun."
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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Could you elaborate on this part? Do NFs or Fs in general always have a good sense of the temperature of their relationships and how they feel about it? I know if you ever asked me that question my brain would be stunned and I'd have to get back to you.

They may have a good sense of how they feel about the relationship, but they may not be able to articulate it well. My brother just gets quiet and uncomfortable in those "let's talk about our relationship" discussions, according to his ENFJ girlfriend. If jenocyde meant in trying to spot Fe vs. Fi, I agree.
 

jenocyde

half mystic, half skeksis
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Could you elaborate on this part? Do NFs or Fs in general always have a good sense of the temperature of their relationships and how they feel about it? I know if you ever asked me that question my brain would be stunned and I'd have to get back to you. I could imagine myself saying "Uhh...well it's nice and we have fun."

They may have a good sense of how they feel about the relationship, but they may not be able to articulate it well. My brother just gets quiet and uncomfortable in those "let's talk about our relationship" discussions, according to his ENFJ girlfriend. If jenocyde meant in trying to spot Fe vs. Fi, I agree.

Mostly it was tongue in cheek but I meant more about his word choices. When people ask me what I feel about something, I generally say "I think..." rather than "I feel..." I don't use dramatic, emotionally charged words either. The question doesn't have to be about the relationship, but it should be about something that matters personally to him. The more in depth, the better, I think.
 

Moiety

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Mostly it was tongue in cheek but I meant more about his word choices. When people ask me what I feel about something, I generally say "I think..." rather than "I feel..." I don't use dramatic, emotionally charged words either. The question doesn't have to be about the relationship, but it should be about something that matters personally to him. The more in depth, the better, I think.

I always use "I think" too. The "I feel" is reserved for special occasions/topics with special people. Same with the emotionally charged words.
 

Lady_X

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well...that may be true for lauren's brother but i was of the opinion we were pretty articulate when it came to our feelings on a subject we cared about and especially interpersonal relationships...it's what we do, right?
 

Lauren Ashley

Revelation
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well...that may be true for lauren's brother but i was of the opinion we were pretty articulate when it came to our feelings on a subject we cared about and especially interpersonal relationships...it's what we do, right?

Lady X, tell me how you feel about TypeC? Do you love the friends you have here? Do you feel a sense of attachment to this place?

:D
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
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Messages
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well...that may be true for lauren's brother but i was of the opinion we were pretty articulate when it came to our feelings on a subject we cared about and especially interpersonal relationships...it's what we do, right?

Hmm, I had always assumed that this was the case for feelers. Since I immediately can tell you what I think about a variety of topics or situations because I spend most of my mental activity thinking and developing those thoughts, I figured feelers generally spend a similar amount of time examining their feelings about ideas, people, relationships, and topics so therefore they'd more easily be able to express those feelings.

I could be way off though, lately I've been examining how much I have been projecting individual traits into typology frameworks for explanation, which I don't think they're capable of doing, so this may be one of those instances.
 

Lady_X

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Lady X, tell me how you feel about TypeC? Do you love the friends you have here? Do you feel a sense of attachment to this place?

:D

well i could go into bs mode if i had to i guess but my point was something you were passionate about....we get very wordy when we're in that mode. i just thought an enfp would likely feel pretty passionate about his/her relationship and tell you all about it if you asked.
 
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