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  1. #1
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
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    Default Mi novio: ENTP or ENFP?

    So I've been dating this guy for a little over 4 months, and I've known him on and off since we were kids. Until recently I figured he was a fellow ENTP - this seemed to be the best-fitting type as far as I could tell. He took an online test once and came out INTP, and later took one in one of his college classes and came out ENTP. I have no real doubts that he's an extrovert, and I'm just about positive he's primary Ne, but lately I've come to wonder about the accuracy of the T/F thing. He has a real penchant for talking about being true to your real self, stating his opinions about things pretty strongly (even when he doesn't seem to have the facts to back up his opinions - seems he's more comfortable with reacting by how he feels about things than by taking in all the information and going from there, though he is capable of both)... one of the things that actually irritates me about him is how at times he talks as if he is such a unique individual - he sets himself apart from me in areas where I feel we have real commonalities. For example, he's really into environmental activism, but he's the type who likes to jump into protests. Me - I like to research things and patterns and appeal to people through information and persuasion (Fe?)...he seems more interested in making a statement through making his voice heard loudly. Because I'm not so overt about my interests - because I'm not the type to suggest a protest or graffiti within the first breath - I think he underestimates my interest in his causes. But I just approach things differently.

    So anyway, I was wondering if this isn't representative of secondary Fi instead of Ti. And, for that matter, Te instead of Fe.

    Another thing of note - he's more prone to being a romantic than I am. He can say mushy things seriously that I find difficult to reciprocate. And he's very interested in the continued growth of the relationship. Don't get me wrong, I am too, but I don't bring things up like he does. He seems to have a latent trajectory in mind that he'd like to follow, though he's flexible about it (Te?).

    We also often perceive interpersonal situations differently. I find I agree with most of my ESFJ best friend's analyses about interpersonal things (we link up on Fe), but some of the things my boyfriend says hit me out of left field, though I can see his point once I think about it. He is a very friendly individual, but he's prone to being - what shall I say? - overgregarious and annoying the hell out of some groups he hangs around. He's not great at matching the tone of groups he's in. And I imagine, though he has a people-pleasing streak, he wouldn't really care to match the tone that much anyway. Not if he feels it's eroding his sense of individuality past a certain point.

    Now he is 19 (soon to be 20), so I don't know if some of this has to do with that, but I'm pretty positive about my type, and though we are very similar, I'm starting to reinterpret some of our differences within the lovely ol' frame of MBTI. They may be more than intratype variation.


    Long post! So, what do you think?
    ALL AROUND THE WORLD PEOPLE EATIN' GUMBO

  2. #2
    Striving for balance Little Linguist's Avatar
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    I usually test as a T when my Te is especially strong, but I think most people on this forum would never doubt my F-ness for a minute.

    He could very well be ENFP. But I'm no expert. Perhaps someone else can help you more.
    If you are interested in language, words, linguistics, or foreign languages, check out my blog and read, post, and/or share.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    I vote ENFP.

  4. #4
    Occasional Member Evan's Avatar
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    I dunno if I've ever heard an ENTP use the phrase "being true to yourself" without laughing at the cliche.

  5. #5
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    sounds enfp to me.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  6. #6

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    How sure are you about the N?

    I've never said the line mentioned above, because the cliche would kill me also. I don't really rush into action blind either. Though I had a crazy spell in my early 20s so anything is possible.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member ZiL's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by noigmn View Post
    How sure are you about the N?

    I've never said the line mentioned above, because the cliche would kill me also. I don't really rush into action blind either. Though I had a crazy spell in my early 20s so anything is possible.

    I'm pretty positive about the N. We go off on the craziest tangents - his humor is very Ne, and often times I'm about the only one who can follow his thought processes in a group. He jumps all over the place, but I've been able to finish his sentences. I might make him sound more action-oriented than he actually is. He only wants to take quick action when it's in regard to some ideal he's passionate about. I just feel he has a tendency to jump the gun, and a large part of it may be due to his age.

    He also doesn't say cliche-ish things about individuality all the time, and he can make fun of himself plenty. But he does it enough for me to notice it and notice that I don't relate to that manner of thinking (maybe I might've in early high school, but now I don't). And he admits he has a pretty big ego that needs to be turned down.

    It's just difficult to tell, because he can put on this very macho act at times, and yet when you corner him on it, he becomes very sensitive and receptive, not realizing that he was bothering you, and immediately wanting to make a change. But he can't match the tone of a group by himself - you really have to call him out on things to get him to realize how he's acting.

    I feel we perceive things in a similar way, but I can't tell if he rationalizes everything like I tend to, or operates more based on his personal feelings about what he perceives. And I can't tell if age is being a very confounding factor. He admits that he has a lot to learn, and that if we'd tried to date any earlier, he probably wouldn't have been ready at all.


    He's a very interesting specimen in that he's so familiar to me, and yet there are differences that I can't quite pinpoint. "Specimen," lol. Who talks this way?
    ALL AROUND THE WORLD PEOPLE EATIN' GUMBO

  8. #8
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I think he sounds ENfP, simply because of the way you say he interacts with others when trying to discuss an issue, or convince them of something. Appealing to a general value system that might be shared instead of equiping someone to make an educated judgement does sound more F than T, however what you say about his difficulty in "molding to the atmosphere of the group" is something that conflicts abit, since in my limited ENFP experience they have always seemed like genuine naturals in the social arena, not to mention ENTPs do as well.

    He could very much have a good balance, and since he is 19, that's not really that old. I'm only 22, and I know that the difference in my behavior, temperament, ideas, etc, were much different when I began college than it is now. He might still be figuring a couple things out.



  9. #9
    half mystic, half skeksis jenocyde's Avatar
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    He's most likely an ENTP and like Jock said is just trying on something new, trying to find his place. We all go through stages. All that talk of being true to yourself may just be him trying to convince himself of that. And when you date someone of the same type, one person usually overcompensates. I was into the whole protest thing when I was that age, too. But at the end of the day, does it really matter what he is?

    If you really want to know for sure, ask how he feels about your relationship. You'll see it clearly then.

  10. #10
    Revelation Lauren Ashley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZiL View Post
    [...] stating his opinions about things pretty strongly (even when he doesn't seem to have the facts to back up his opinions - seems he's more comfortable with reacting by how he feels about things than by taking in all the information and going from there, though he is capable of both)... one of the things that actually irritates me about him is how at times he talks as if he is such a unique individual - he sets himself apart from me in areas where I feel we have real commonalities. For example, he's really into environmental activism, but he's the type who likes to jump into protests [...]
    Sounds like my brother, an ENFP that tests ENTP. He is so caught up in being unique/different that his final response to being typed was "I'm not an ENTP or ENFP, I'm me." And he is a big activist, "fight the power" type. But those points also apply to his (actual) ENTP friend so, hmmm.

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