What's my Type?

[Snow Turtle]

Yeah. You should admit that you're not perfect. I was thinking more in terms of the idea that you shouldn't express any value that you can't live up to. Which is a mindframe that kind of makes ideals impossible to have.

Hm. I don't think it's too much of a problem as long as it's acknowledged that there is an idealised version and an actual version. My INFJ friend once said to me, that trying your best is good enough. It's more about whether the intentions are contradictory than the actions I suppose.

Otherwise it's sort of true. I don't make promises often in case I can't live up to their expectations. So in that sense, I have to agree with your last assessment that hypocrisy is not really a negative thing based on that definition.

Oh, I've definitely experienced deep lows. I'm kind of glad about how I'm examining my life more closely now. I used to be so rigid, paranoid and mindless, but that was because I was repressing about 80% of my personality and overwriting it with social programming... that was awful.

Yes. I really didn't agree with or like the people around me growing up, and felt the only thing I really had in common with any of them was the desire to avoid unpredictable situations and punishment, and have an idea of how my behavior was going to be judged. That pushed me towards Lawful Neutral.

I used to have a framework where all the specifics were structured, but now I'm moving towards one where the overall framework is structured, but with the specifics being more relaxed. It feels more natural to me, although I feel so terrified that in public I still tend to behave in a Lawful Neutral manner out of fear. I still have a long way to go. I wish I had gotten to know some people and learned how to trust a little more in real life, then maybe I wouldn't be so paralyzed to inaction by my fear of screwing up and having no way to avoid the consequences.

Yeah.

I'm often paralysed by the social anxiety which is created by perfectionism and it's something I'm working on changing, except reprogramming behaviour and mindsets is never easy as it's so easy to slip back into old habits.

 

[Athenian200]

Hm. I don't think it's too much of a problem as long as it's acknowledged that there is an idealised version and an actual version. My INFJ friend once said to me, that trying your best is good enough. It's more about whether the intentions are contradictory than the actions I suppose.

Otherwise it's sort of true. I don't make promises often in case I can't live up to their expectations. So in that sense, I have to agree with your last assessment that hypocrisy is not really a negative thing based on that definition.

Yeah, I avoid making promises, too. I suppose certain kinds of hypocrisy would bother me, like if it wasn't acknowledged that an ideal was being expressed rather than a reasonable expectation.

I often try to minimize the number of different situations I enter and actions I take, in order to minimize the number of expectations (especially undesired expectations) people place on me, because I don't want to let them down. It can be really paralyzing.

Yeah.

I'm often paralysed by the social anxiety which is created by perfectionism and it's something I'm working on changing, except reprogramming behaviour and mindsets is never easy as it's so easy to slip back into old habits.

Exactly, exactly. It seems like we're pretty similar.

I really hope I can learn how to change a bit, though.