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I know i've done this before but i want to try again/revise.

Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
1,844
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
*ignore the isfp ;)*

I'm not changing my mind but am open to hearing what people think when i put some things down.


* I have been through and seen quite alot of stuff. A family member who when i was around 12 got pregnant and things were fine until a formal druggie they knew came back.

pretty much they started drugs again neglecting there child and leaving the care of said child to our mother so this kid lived with us.
This person would always beg for money by banging on the door even breaking it open one time.
I just remember even at the age of twelve saying to my mother "why do you give them money when you know it's just going to be used on drugs" she kept repeting this it annoyed me alot like "pretty much your enabling this behavior"

* Another thing happened a few years later (16) my father got some cancer and i just remember remaining so hopeful that it was all going to turn around to the point i may of appeared blind.

I actually account this one time this family member came over of my dad's and he knew that this was going on.

All of a sudden he was willing to help him organize some things. I just thought automatically "he's trying to suck up to him isn't he? my father doesn't need such a fake person who's just using him".

When his terminal problems came back and it was pointed out to me it seems there is no weight gain I didn't even notice I was too hopeful.

There is also one thing i have always noticed I just took it one day at a time like i hated dealing with the will *who does* and not knowing how it was going to be without him.

* I know i've had to develop a tougher shell cause this family member that was using him to get stuff when he passed called me out to talk and pretty much proceeded to say how he doesn't know if he can come back here now that the one person is gone that he came to see.

I kept telling myself put your stone face on this jerk doesn't deserve one ounce of emotion from you.
So i stood there and my only replies were "mm hmm" even to something like i hope your not mad at me and understand that i got go. I just showed apathy like i couldn't care less get the H out of hear with my eyes heh.

* I was easily disturbed by his death since i was so young probably. I had anxiety, sleepless nights *sure this is common*. I couldn't walk past the room at night for it would remind me of how he looked and the pain.

I felt I just couldn't face it but I told myself this is one of those things you can't run from so i faced it as hard as it was but i knew i had to reach over this hurdle.
I for awhile just would lay down staring at the floor thoughts of what's life after death like *actually had a huge fear of this when i was 12 which would lead to crying to sleep*.
I do notice whenever i'm feeling sad or i start thinking about what happened with him I can reflect and even get melancholy but i usually try to play more optimistic music on or put a comedy on to cheer me up to remind there is much life in me still and life is still so beautiful actually even more so now.

I notice i have not in the past 4 years I have not myself gone to visit his grave on my own or when i would go with some family members I would feel myself dreading it like why open this wound again it hurt so much and i'm finally coming to terms with this.

* another thing I notice I get easily bothered by hearing other's cancer stories cause it just brings back the pain of him not being hear and seeing him go through that.

I do realize I love to hear stories about the survivors for some reason it comforts me or even stories about people who have been in a coma for three weeks and out of no where came back to life, they showed no signs of brain damage.

I was rethinking this occurance to someone i used to know's brother and I started crying cause i was so afraid that when we die is this it? do we fade into dust?

I just remember thinking I have to hold onto the fact that there is something bigger then myself out there it's the only way i'm not going to be scared of death. I also want to believe that i will see my father again I miss him terribly :cry:.

* sometimes i think i have developed a hardened shell against my mother not as in i'm nasty to her just if she mentions how she has this wrong etc.

I feel my heart sink and i just have to distance myself cause i just can't think about it anymore though it does make me upset *alot* it makes me worry about what if she would go.

I surely tell myself i hope in like 10-15 yrs that she does go that I have someone special cause i'm going to need to emotional crutch cause it's gonna open all that pain up again which i finally have it where i felt fairly normal again.

* though i do see a pattern where whenever I see someone taking advantage of her It really peeves me especially if they truly don't need her support and are just looking for a free ride.

One of the many things I always find myself saying alot is " she's the mother, she needs to learn to sleep in her bed that she made.
or "it's HER responsibility, why do you think you should be responsible for her bad choices in life she knows what she's doing and also she is an adult now it's time" but my mother sometimes still enables this.

I figure " it's my mother's choice too then i don't want to hear it if your going to keep enabling this dependent behavior without YOU making the change in your behavior".

pretty much I relate strongly to the Character Kura from Reba sitcom. I an so sick of feeling like even though i'm the youngest that I am the most adult "like". It gets very irritating.

I am an adult but always felt this way.
Also her realistic, no nonsense, call on people's BS excuses/biting sarcasm lol so me heh I may be nice but don't poke the bear i'm not easily lead I have my own thoughts/can recognize when someone is trying to pull one on me.

I'm really sensitive but i don't show it that easy I can appear distant but I can cry at the drop of a hat too. I don't trust people's intentions especially if there trying to manipulate me *been tried to be emotionally* mistrustful of Fe expression in a negative way.


sorry if it's too long I tried to keep it simple but I felt i needed to dig alittle just to get the heart of what needs to be seen.

so with that from here what do you think my type is and what leads you there. Thank you all :hug:

I'm not expecting people over the internet to know my soul but I just would love to understand maybe an analysis of any outstanding notice of function use in certain behaviors.[/B]
 

Sentura

Phoenix Incarnate
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
750
MBTI Type
ENXP
Enneagram
1w9
sounds very ISFX to me. you're concrete in your writing (S), you're extremely sensitive (F) and you're distrustful of people (I). there is not enough information to determine whether you're P or J.
 
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
1,844
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Hi sentura,
Thank you so much

That's what i kinda have been having a problem with is the J and P
I'll jot some things down let me know if it's relevant if your up for it ;).

* I notice that I used to be able to start and finish when i start doing something *like clean my room* but lately it's like i start and then fizz out I just can't gather the motivation for it.
I can find the motivation for exercise/fitness though cause i can see how it benefits me *healthy/ feel my mood lifts immediately/ helps with pms ;) *cough/clears throat* stay fit/keep fat away from my waist so it doesn't lead to other things like diabeties since it runs in my family.

* I had a project in HS and i didn't start to work on till the night before but i was freaking out even cried alittle hehe.
I tried my hardest to complete it all that night before the next day so i came up with a plan to tell the teacher as soon as i got in that it was at home i'll bring it tomorrow :smile: that was my first time doing that it freaked me out and i never did it again.

* when i am going towards a goal like when i was studying for a certificate and i would beat myself up if i was having trouble it wasn't that i was going to give up more just needed to get out my frustration.

Even do get perfectionistic like i won't rest till i know i have reached a level I planned on acheiving in the back of my head.

*this may sound kinda weird but i watch anime obviously *hahaha look the left xD* and one character named "rock lee" who is very determined, very hard on himself, always keeps his word on what he sets his sights on/ a goal/promise/ 500 push ups xDD. I see myself in that character's reactions sometimes like feeling like a failure if i don't reach a certain point that i have set for myself.

I have that mentality with exercising too like I want to do this much of this today then this much of that and maybe alittle more of that i'll hold myself to it and follow through that's why i don't say yes to commitments so easy cause i hold myself too it then it becomes kinda of a pain xD.

I did fifteen of this, 15 minutes of this or I ate healthy for this many days I'm doing good awesome I keep in it a diet journal too of what and how much i exercise/ what i eat and look back on it for motivation if needed heh.

* i know three ISFJ's I don't relate to there self sacrificing ways.
I agreed with this "will give any amount of help if they can see that it is needed but their logic rebels against aiding & abetting that which doesn't make sense to them"

from here "http://ome.umaryland.edu/AcademicD/ISTJ.html"
but i know my mother/other member and friend is ISFJ I just don't do things in there way. I have to see the need and that said person is absolutley on there last leg or can do it if they just tried to be independent. * thinking you know maybe i make the type work for me not let the type dictate what i am.*

Is there any specific questions that can sharpen this for you? I would love to know Thank you so much sentura :hug:.
 

OrangeAppled

Sugar Hiccup
Joined
Mar 20, 2009
Messages
7,626
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4w5
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ISFP. I see Fi over Fe.
 
Joined
Dec 9, 2008
Messages
1,844
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
ISFP. I see Fi over Fe.

Hey OrangeAppled

Thank you after a night's rest ;) It's becoming clearer of my preferance for isfp.

I also wanted to bring up i was actually professionally tested and came out infp but i just wanted to be sure it matched which something was not clicking.

Some things stood out where i can see the administer misinterpreted Se for Ne like It was asked when i'm outside do i pay attention to the names of a certain plant or the detail of the ridges on the them or what species does a certain animal belong too.

I said no when i'm outside I just enjoy the beauty and i feel really connected when i'm outside. I will notice a pretty flower or the detail of the ridges on a plant but the only way.

I would know the name of even alittle facts on it if it stood out and also was a favorite flower of mine *hibiscus ;) hawaii's state flower*
I didn't go looking for this info it found me heh
I was just looking for images of it.

I'm starting to see he misinterpreted the connected when i'm outside part with Ne as in probably of seeing patterns but I don't see patterns when i'm outside.

I Just see the beauty of everything around me and actually can makes seem absent minded cause i'm so into my environment
*that sunset/thunderstorm/great song or performance that sweeps me away.

it's actually why i hate driving alittle bit cause i can't just stop and enjoy the moment i have to be very hypervigilant to stop lights/other drivers. But driving is fun too hehe.*


ooh here's the test you linked "into it" I think i just have had to develop my T more to stand my ground against people trying to make me pay for there mistakes. I see it this why should i? you know it's not fair i didn't make that decision or choice. anywho :blush:.
My J i'm thinking is cause I do have pretty good dose of it but i realized this morning at the end of the day P stands but J can kick it's booty to move :D

As stubborn as having Pe can be Je does kick my butt into gear. Thank you Into it :hug:.
s
Introversion (I): 12 versus Extroversion (E): 8
Sensing (S): 14 versus Intuition (N): 9
Thinking (T): 12 versus Feeling (F): 7
Judging (J): 10 versus Perceiving (P): 11

Making your MBTI code:
I S T P
 
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